Fox eat Dog
by Hatake Itachi
Summary: Kakashi wants a peaceful life without precious people in it. Naruto wants nothing but precious people in his life. Set two years after the manga
1. Chapter 1

My second story, the other hasn't been updated in a while, got to get a move on that. I also plan to start other one connecting to this fiction, at least i hope too.

This is a continuation story of Kakashi and Naruto getting together because there is not enough of them out there. The whole purpose is for man smut but I like to pretend it has a plot. I also plan to take a while getting there. Have fun.

Fox eat Dog

Amistd the leafy greens laying back in a canopy bed it was as if the world was crawling at a snail's pace. Barely any movement aside from the wind rustling the leaves and bushes, even they lazily followed the winds call. He couldn't be any more rested and relaxed unless he was a civilian. Ninjas can only let themselves go so much. Growing a heated blush letting forth a light giggle, his prized brand new 'Icha Icha Lover's Nights', as it still held strong to it's predecessor's scintillating plot lines and provocative scenes. Not that the whole story was smut, you just had to read through it _throughly_. Kakashi took pleasure in doing that, over and over and over again. Yet all was not right, he could feel it in his bones, his senses itching acting as a warning to a danger very near. Something was disturbing his peaceful little world. What was it?

It was too late.

Before he could quickly, competently react a ball was thrown at his head. Not just any ball. A water ball. He was able to shield his precious book but quick skill alone didn't save his hair and left side from the impact. Aiming a deadly glare over his shoulder the veteran jounin didn't even need to face his attacker to know the only one with enough balls and stupidity in the village to toss a water balloon at him was the only person who could do it with the chance to live to see tomorrow. There he stood, several inches taller than himself, his hair shaggy and unkept, covered in dirt from head to toe. By his side a back pack with yet more projectiles looking to make the older ninja soak and wet by the end of the bag.

"Kakashi-sensei! Looks like you could use a towel!" Naruto taunted all teeth and canines beaming at him, not quite blindingly so but with just as much enthusiasm as Gai had. The boy looked ready to hurl another balloon taking the stance of a baseball pitcher, arm up, leg out. He would have to do this quick. With a few swift hand seals the silver hair jounin cast a jutsu that of a much smaller level Suiryuudan no Jutsu, Water Dragon Blast Technique, and all the water trapped in the rubber balls exploded drenching Naruto in a small wave enough to hurt a lesser person merely knocking a stubborn prankster onto his ass. The dirt covering his form was gone, running down his body onto the ground. His hair drenched stuck against his neck, clinging red and orange clothes matting against his body. Would his choice in attire ever grow into something normal?

Now said blond ninja was giving his former-sensei his own look of displeasure, although it was hardly threatening when his shaggy hair was in his eyes. Actually Kakashi thought it was rather cute and took great pleasure in telling Naruto so.

"Stuff it! That was a dirty trick Kakashi-sensei!" His cheeks puff out as he clenched his fists into the dirt. The older man stood up dusting himself up ignoring the wet dirt patches on his arm. He would have to take a shower earlier than usual today, no big deal. Walking up to the drowned rat the elder man ruffled his hair making him think of a 'wet dog' and the boy sure did smell like one. Stuffing his hands into his pockets he walked on ignoring the curious stare following him.

"Welcome back Naruto."

Naruto sat there watching his teacher walk away as he uttered those few simple words the blond was always glad to hear. It meant someone was happy to see him, it meant there were people looking forward to him coming home again. Such simple words, people would think he was foolish for being so happy over something so small.

Standing up he rubbed under his nose water dripping from it and sneezed, how annoying. He didn't even get the chance to go see Iruka-sensei and force the man to got to the ramen shop with him. Free ramen was always a joy he missed while away from home. Though staring at that back of Kakashi's head he thought maybe he could get his meal after all. Trotting up to the other he kept up with the man's pace looking at the covered mask of his teacher he paid no attention to the road ahead as he gave his sensei a huge grin that screamed 'I'm looking for something.'

"Kakashi-sensei! Why don't we go to Ichiraku Ramen together to catch up?" Naruto's smile couldn't be anymore obvious, while meant to be sweet in appearance he was over doing it. Immediately the older ninja knew the blond was looking for a meal ticket. Kakashi gave him a one eye no lip smile in return and answered.

"Are you asking me out on a date Naruto?" Naruto gave Kakashi-sensei a dubious look before throwing out his most suave smile wrapping his arm around the other.

"Only if I'm getting something out of it." Kakashi was mildly surprised. This was something new, Naruto flirting back? Usually he'd huff muttering the word pervert under his breath, it was always the jounin's way of getting him to settle down, his 'fuck off' tactic if you will. With the arm around his shoulder and close proximity of Naruto's body it was but an instant later before the silver hair man shrugged him off.

"If you want to mooch off someone go find Iruka, I'm not so gullible. I have something I need to do. Later."

Baffled and confused Naruto stood there looking to the smoke puff where once his teacher stood wondering what he did wrong.

xoxoxoxox

Naruto was use to crowds of people staring at him, during his younger years he gave them plenty of reasons to do so. Though now he wasn't actively seeking their attention, he just didn't feel like rushing home to take a shower. He knew he smelled something awful and he was soaked from head to toe due to the earlier scuffle but he wanted to enjoy walking through the streets of his hometown. Receiving a few kindly waves from comrades and old Mrs. Taka who was something of a.. fan. He always distastefully endured her hugs that missed touching appropriate places.

It was when he was halfway home that he ran across a familiar scowling face. Sasuke was leaning against a store building looking like he wasn't paying attention to anything though he was most likely watching everything. Paranoia and the sharingan were good for that. Naruto made sure to yell needlessly loud just to piss him off.

"Yo bastard! How's it hanging?!" Smugly he drug his feet up and into the brunette's bubble, completely ignoring the radius of personal space Sasuke like to keep at all times and stood close enough so that his breathe could be felt by the other's cheek.

Sasuke disgusted not by the fact Naruto did this, he always did and most likely always would, but the fact he did it while smelling something fierce.. when was the last time the idiot brushed his teeth? Only his resistance to fowl smells and stubborn pride kept him from moving a inch, even though he turned his face the opposite direction. So he didn't feel like tolerating it when he didn't need too, didn't make him less of a ninja.

"Naruto, you smell like cow dung, go wash yourself. Have some courtesy for people forced to be around you."

At that the blond sneered ready with a few kindly words not meant to be heard outside a bar, commonly from the lips of a drunk, when he thought to sniff himself and stuck out his tongue. Cringing he couldn't believe he didn't notice it before. No wonder Kakashi-sensei ran off after he got so close. Scratching his damp head he completely forgot to say something nasty back to his present company, looking almost sheepish.

"That farm perverted hermit made us stay at must've have stayed with me. Well Miss, I'll see you later, say hi to your girlfriend for me."  
Sasuke looked back over to the tan male to glare, not pleased with that comment in the least.

"Don't let Sakura hear you say that unless you'd like to be a permitted fixture on Hokage mountain, your corpse that is."

"Also give your boyfriend a hot kiss. He does try **so** hard to get your attention." Naruto saucily added as he walked away with a feminine sway added to his hips. The Uchiha's blood ran cold at the mention. It wasn't his fault he was getting strange green spandex stalkers challenging him to prove their manliness and Naruto knew he detested it. Keeping silent he went back to ignoring everything as the other man giddily pranced home.

xoxoxoxoxox

When Kakashi was feeling out of sorts he always retreated to his 'romance novels'. His precious porn was a comfort no matter where he was or what troubling burden was forced apon him. Despite being in this very store yesterday, and still slightly damp from his excursion with a bubbly blond, he came back once again to gather more reading material. He was quite skilled and agile so it wasn't even a shock to the store clerk to see the silver hair man holding a stack of books in one of his hands and another with one of his feet as he leafed through another potential purchase.

Nodding in assentation he kicked up the books balanced on the side of his foot into his free hand and smoothly walked up to the clerks man placing them on the counter before him with a happy smile. The cashier smirked, his name tag said Tokashi. They never actually spoke to each other, maintaining professional transactions handled with discretion, despite the fact Kakashi would read the smut in a park filled with children and angry mothers.

Tokashi was long time in the business and always kept to himself, though he could tell you more about Kakashi than most of his friends knew. He knew what the man liked, seen all the different emotions in his one uncovered eye, he saw the silver hair man after missions, in vulnerable moments when his guard wasn't quite completely back up, he knew these things without hardly a word spoken. When the other man handed him the correct amount of money he placed it in the register without even ringing it up as the other walked away.

Out on the streets of the towns more 'adult' district he walked on his books stacked several inches above his head. It's not like all his trips bore so much fruit, this was a special occasion, brought on by events he didn't want to ponder over. He was out of the loop, aside from rumors and gossip, when it came to knowing just how his former students were doing. Seeing Naruto today after a few weeks trip, he didn't even see him over a month before the young man left. Their last meeting consisted of a passing in the street where the young man thought to glomp him ninja style. Kakashi loathe to admit his back didn't take kindly to the pouncing. At least not at the speed in which the man was at, and the weight of which he filled out to.

When exactly did the boy he once tutor start smiling like that? Even in his insanely loud outfits he had a strange allure, it reminded him of his own teacher. That warm welcoming persona that even guarded strangers fell victim too. The blond grew up under his nose, or perhaps it was there the whole time and he choose to ignore it.

Sasuke and Sakura were never this difficult, at least they never demanded so much damn attention, not from him. Sasuke detested it as a weakness and the pink hair stalker focused entirely on her studies and fairy tale fixation. Naruto had a habit of showing up out of no where and just making his day go awry. Like every time he set on the task of trying to see under his mask, which happened every several months. The man never gave up, ever. It was quite a admirable quality until the other started sneaking into his apartment at night to take a peek, then it was creepy.

As he walked down the dirt path bare of grass from years of harboring people's feet it became more crowded, the sporadic number of passer byers turned into a jumble of bodies all gathering into one area not large enough to hold so man without people touching. Curious as to what brandished so many on lookers he stopped. High up on a flat roof, there was makeshift stage. A man stood with a karaoke set at his feet and a microphone in his hands. Standing beside him a row of girls, women, wearing clean white T-shirts and short shirts. He recognized Sakura and Asuma's student Ino among them. What was going on here?

"Now if you please gentlemen these ladies are looking very hot, and the heat is making them sweaty too. Do your thing, but do be gentle." He announced in a rather cheesy fashion.

Kakashi knew his face, Toji, a rather eccentric jounin, in a village of ninja with a job description of decapitations and death it wasn't unusual to be, unusual. It was ninjas who didn't have personality defects you had to worry about.

Lined off to the side several ninja used hands seals to gather water. His neck prickled yet his eyes were glued to the spectacle. Already he could tell what was to happen and just before the water showered down a blur of another person jump into the roof getting wet along with Ino, Sakura and the other five girls. When the water cleared little rivets leaking down onto the ground creating small mud puddles every female was soaked and Kakashi was grateful to taking a detour before going home to wash up. Every shirt was drenched and clinging to each magnificent chest. The outline of their full bosom and nipples were clearly seen through.

The crowd cheered, hoots and cat calls disturbing the normal peaceful atmosphere. Not that it was at all bothersome, he was too focused on the entertainment to care. So maybe he should have felt vaguely disturbed to see what his former student was housing in her top but then again Kakashi had done worse in his day. If she wanted to prance around nearly topless and feed the eyes of hot-blooded men he should support her in her goals in life yes? Yes and they were quite lovely not overly huge. A nice fit in your hand, giving you something fun to play with. Though her rival/friend the Yamanaka child, she looked the type that you'd have fun with for a night or two. She was bigger than his pink hair pupil but not overly so.

The silver hair jounin vaguely noticed the man started speaking again but wasn't all that attentive, a girl with deep crimson hair and dark lipstick caught his eye, those breasts looked awfully familiar.. He was sure of he was an acquaintance of them, just didn't remember the name of the woman. It was too the left of her he noticed a blonde with pigtails. The older man only noticed her hair because she was leaning forward, the tails laying nestled next to the overly large fun bags. One hand was on her knee, her free hand held her fingers in a peace sign, with a pink tongue teasingly stuck out as she posed for the crowd making Kakashi wonder if such a flirtatious sexy girl like that was in the village why had he never slept with her?

Toji then made a proclamation of choosing the best looking shirt in the bunch. Holding his hand over the head of a deep brunette she struck a alluring pose going for sophistication over enthusiasm. A hand on her thigh the other by her cocked head with the slight tilt of the hip. He made certain to remember that face when he went out later, he would approach her another time for some fun.

One by one the microphone wielding jounin placed his hand near the girls and the crowd got loudest at the one they most liked. It was on Sakura's turn that she stood on her side jaunting out her hip so you could see a full view of the front and back, the look on her face really was not one he'd ever seen on her.

How his' students grew up without him around. Just how old was he getting? Suddenly thirty didn't feel so young. If his two students could give looks like that undoubtedly they all could. Though he laughed in his head. If Sasuke showed interest in anything on two legs Kakashi would pay to find out.

The noise that Sakura gathered broke him from his musing and was enough to give the other girls stiff competition. When Ino was up she did something a bit different, going down on her hands and knees throwing her head back. He was grateful for the loose standard issue uniform pants and his occupied hands itched to fix them. If not for his respect for Asuma he would consider...

It was the pig tail blonde's turn and the silver hair jounin looked forward to see what she could do. He was surprised but not disappointed. She started doing jumping jacks. Her chest bouncing and jiggling in a way that one could imagine would look like if she was riding on top of you. Kakashi did just that, yes very grateful for the pants.

By far she got the loudest and most unseemly calls. Who said that about a bungee cord and riding crop? By the time the last three had their turn he already figured who would win, though he couldn't help but notice the blonde's face. It looked terribly familiar though he knew he never saw her before, those marks on her cheeks..

No fucking way.

"The winner of Konoha's wet T-shirt contest... is you pigtails what's your name anyway?" As Toji neared her holding the microphone in front of her Kakashi was laughing his ass off loudly, the books in his arms tipping almost ready to fall as his hand was twitching to throw kunai's at the blond. The older man was at half mast after seeing those twins bounce.

"Well that is, Uzumaki Naruto!" In a puff of smoke the top heavy gorgeous blond turned back into the number one ninja of surprises, who was in tight mini shorts and equally confining women's tee. Kakashi could see everything, he was worried since it wasn't all that bad.

As the crowd went silent, the cocky blond continued his cocky cheshire cat grin. It didn't last long as when the shock was over many in the crowd started laughing, the ones that weren't were seething in cold fury for being turned on by a seventeen year old male prankster. That was Naruto for you. Before long Ino and Sakura were on him, he tried to run, Kakashi almost had the heart to go up there and rescue him for the inevitable thrashing he would receive, but he was feeling a bit vengeful.

Kakashi started walking away ignoring the cries and pleas of one man along with the angry yelling of two very furious females. He ignored them all and desperately desired a shower and the comforting walls of his home, a very cold shower. With a brain scrubber to remove imagines of hard abs peeking out from under a too tight chest, small confiding shorts that revealed practically every inch of what was not really hidden underneath and mischievous blue eyes that promised everything the older man was missing.

"Kakashi-sensei."

Looking up the jounin was mildly surprised to see Sasuke leaning against a building off a ways from the huddle of people. Far enough to be near none of them but close enough to see the stage. The fact Kakashi wasn't surprised attested to the fact he felt the boy there even if it didn't register in his mind.

"Sasuke."

It was a mere greeting and usually at that the silver hair man would walk away, not one for lengthy conversation when he had nothing important to say, so the Uchiha was surprised when the silver hair man stood there looking at him so intently. The younger man was starting to get unnerved. Kakashi as analyzing him, trying to read him. It was a look one got in a battle or right before a barrage of mental attacks, the snake sannin like to do often. Driving one to question one's self.

"Sasuke help your former teacher extend his knowledge. I need you to show me something."

Kakashi said that so seriously, even going as far as asking for help. Sasuke was curious and though he didn't want to say it, almost eager to do the man a favor. To have helped the independent copy-ninja. He nodded slowly hiding his enthusiasm.

"I want you to imagine me as the most attractive person you've ever seen and give me a smile that tells me you want my body."

xoxoxoxox

Meh It's hard writing stories now that I have two jobs so I need support, help feed my will to write my fellow Naruto loving friends!


	2. Chapter 2

Beginning filler just to say I meant it when I said I am a procrastinator, constant reviews help and stroke my ego but I plan on making this the one story I see to the end... I hope. There aren't any good Kakashi and Naruto romances!

oxoxoxoxox

When a fist didn't instantly come at Kakashi's face he wondered if his request was actually being considered or if Sasuke was planning to rip him limb from limb. The resounding clench of Sasuke's jaw cracking caused the older ninja to believe that it was the latter the teen was preparing for. It might have been a good idea at that point to run away screaming for mercy, that is if he were a lesser man. Besides the fact Naruto's example still fresh in his mind proved it was a futile effort anyway.

Real ninjas show no mercy.

He dully stared death in the face with the appearance of patient student eagerly waiting to be taught a lesson. He also ignored how dirty that sounded in his head. Covered lips noticeably twitched behind his mask as Sasuke's forehead vein followed the example. A tumbleweed went by as they long stood there and stared at the other the teens intimidation not fearing his former teacher enough to scare him away but rather wait him out.

A moment later Sasuke closed his eyes in contemplative silence as his jaw went slack.

"You're incorrigible." The Uchiha's tone was flat yet somehow an affectionate statement. That was alarming in itself though the jounin would not say so if he were beaten within an inch of his life.

"That's what they say." Agreeable yet it wasn't stated he actually agreed.

He could no longer see the young man's vein twitching overhead as the near calm Sasuke before him stood quietly, eyes shut as though he was in a trance. The hound summoners face fell as his eyebrows wrinkled together. This was starting to get scary. What was he planning to do? Kakashi's answer came shortly after the teen let out a deep breath, releasing a lot of inner tension and opened his eyes lifting his head to meet the silver hair male's gaze.

_'Fuck.'_

"Who said I didn't?"

Kakashi dropped his treasured books to the ground.

**"_I want you to imagine me as the most attractive person you've ever seen and give me a smile that tells me you want my body."_**

Sasuke was looking at him with the most expression in his dark eyes that Kakashi has ever seen from the teen since his hate for Itachi. It was almost like **that** look, _almost. _They say hate was not a far distance from love, the line was blurry and nearly intangible at times. Though the young man was looking at him with anything but hate in his eyes. He was smiling for one, not a smile, _smirking_. A cocky smirk he was known for, full of self assurance and satisfaction. _'I'm better than you in every way and I can prove it'_ smirk. Yet rather then a means to make Kakashi feel inferior it was for him to feel desired. A 'I want you and I can you if I want' smirk.

It was amazing what you can get from a slight tilt of lips.

Sasuke took a step forward lips parting slightly as he sauntered up to Kakashi's face, slightly two inches shorter then the jounin, and held eye contact. When the teen parted his full pink lips puffs of air tickled the older man's mouth. **'He was **_**that**_** close.'**

Black iris' stared into him as though he was a delicious treat to be feasted on through lidded slits. The slightly closed orbs made it seem as though the rest of his gaze could see a different, much more arousing picture the older man wasn't made aware of yet. The longer the boy stood there so close to him it increase the probability that very soon the older ninja was going to _poke_ him. That was embarrassing for someone his age.

"Come." A husky voice demanded.

And so Kakashi obeyed, right over his pants.

Did you guys believe all that? Because that's not how it goes. In fact the reality is much less interesting, but your reviews seemed so hopeful I couldn't let you go without something. So here is was really happened and don't be disappointed, this is Kakashi and Naruto's story!

oxoxoxo

He crawled pitifully on the ground beaten, battered and broken. In the beginning he pleaded for help crying out for someone to save him, but all turn their heads away not willing to risk themselves for him. He wasn't worth the trouble, the pain. He tried his best not let the tears fall, but the onslaught, the brutally, his tormentors were well trained. They hit all the right spots, each hit was meant to not just bruise but be felt deep under his skin. It was a wonder he was still alive. Dirt covered his body and was especially prominent against his tear-stricken face. He reached out his hand again clawing at the ground in hopes of getting away from there, far away, yet he didn't have the strength to stand on his own two legs. Before he knew it he grabbed onto something strong and warm. Looking up he could hardly see his eyes so red and swollen.

Please let it be help, or at least not his enemy.

"Naruto how much longer are you going to keep up with the dramatics? Sakura gave you love taps and Ino didn't even crush your nuts." Sasuke kicked Naruto's hand off his ankle his voice the tone one would use for a stubborn child. A stubborn, stupid, child.

It was neither friend nor foe, it was much worse than Naruto could anticipate.

"You bastard, you have no idea the hell I've endured. Sakura doesn't need to use her full strength to make it hurt, and I'm hungry. I just came back from traveling all day. Have you no sympathy?!" Naruto rolled onto his back, so his bruised stomach didn't hurt so much. Maybe Sasuke was right in that he could have received a lot more punishment but it still hurt! He had already used a lot of his energy rushing home to Konoha. Now his only means of getting back to his house was a prick Uchiha, his future looked bleak.

"Not for foolish dumb ninjas. If you want to just lay there and die be my guest, I'm going home." The dark hair male shoved his hands in his pockets then walked away invulnerable to the yells and curses that followed him after. The broken heap stopped screaming after it became apparent only brick walls and strays could hear him. It was rather uncomfortable laying in the dirt while being wet, he was in sore need of a shower and bed rest. He almost felt like falling asleep where he was laid, his blue eyes fluttering shut. A quick nap wouldn't hurt.

"Is he gone?"

Naruto tried to sit up fast but gave up quickly when it hurt too much, instead, he tilted his head in a way that his neck was at a near 180 degrees in angle, was that even possible? In his sight, his upside down sensei holding two stacks of porn walking out from behind the cover of a closed food stand. He strolled over to the injured blond looking down at him with a happy smile, he assumed so since you can't see the other man's lips.

"Kakashi-sensei! I'm so glad your here! You have to help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!" He ignored whatever his teacher was talking about and foolishly reached his hands up while kicking his legs out like a little baby. It was quite amusing to the much older much more _mature_ man until the imp turned over and clung to the mismatch eye man's legs.

"If you have enough energy to move like that you must not be too injured. Honestly Naruto get off my legs, my hands are too full to bother with you." Kakashi tried moving his legs enough to squirm away but that only made the other man cling more. The jounin had to give up unless risk embarrassingly falling over and dropping all his precious books.

"Stop being so mean, I'm really cold, wet, hungry and dirty.. won't you help me please sensei?" Kakashi had a few things he wanted to say at that point, the foremost of being 'you fucking idiot..' but there was something in the tone, the way Naruto heavily gave him pleading shiny eyes, just how close this scene was too issue #7 of The Icha Icha series where the injured maiden was left into the forest for death when her handsome enemy came along then saved her, nursing her back to health and they shared a night of hot passion. He found himself in limbo, trapped in the middle. Should he kick the brat off and walk away or take him home and chance...

Sighing miserably he realized that while he didn't like it, somewhere inside of him was a weakness for those three brats. It was his first and only students, just because he didn't like them didn't mean he didn't care. He was telling himself it was because of that and not because he was thinking of the indecent images his mind came up with that he was going to help Naruto.

"Naruto turn over and hold these." He tried not to think how that sounded as he waited watching puzzlement turn into wariness and to realization in deep sapphire eyes. Naruto slowly turned and sat up his movements slow, he slightly trembled as he reached for the books, maybe the boy wasn't faking as much as he thought. Blue eyes sparkled with amusement looking through Kakashi's collection, a smirk on his lips as the jounin bent down placing an arm under the boy's uncovered legs that looked as smooth as they felt, did he shave? The other was around his firm hard back, the silver hair man finally realized just how much Naruto really grew when he couldn't even get his arm fully around the young man's body and lifting him was a nightmare. He actually had to add chakra through his arms just so he could lift the boy off the ground and keep him from falling. His back really didn't like him right then.

"Naruto are you eating Jiraiya's frog summons? You've gotten fat." Which was a lie, it was all muscle. He knew it, but the boy surpassed him in body mass and it was an insult to him as a man. Never mind Gai and Asuma they were his age, the punk little boy that use beg for new jutsu's now look like he could wrap one hand around Kakashi's bicep. At least Sasuke stayed lithe and slender like him.

"Who's fat? I train everyday! Look at this stomach..." Naruto lifted the already high riding shirt up and moved the books away from his stomach to show off his abs. Kakashi's eye twitched. Of course the idiot would take him seriously, he was far easier to bait and believed you meant every word you'd say. His free eye kept roaming down and he cursed himself every time.

"Naruto don't you dropped those books or I'm throwing you in the nearest garbage can." Kakashi was trying his hardest to keep his tone from getting too aggressive but his student was waving candy in his face, so to speak. He should not have stopped. He should not have asked Sasuke that question. He should have not hid after he did because said boy promised death with the look in his eyes. The jounin wasn't about to deal with the rebel boy's petty pride, not when he had the well being of his books at stake. Same books laying right in Naruto's lap. He really shouldn't be staring there either.

His present company went quiet, odd in itself, and wrapped an arm around Kakashi's shoulder. Instantly the other man stopped, wanting nothing more than to drop the bulk in his arms. He didn't like the other taking such liberties with him, if not for those books... After a moment the blond laid his head down on his collarbone and held fast to the novels in his lap. Kakashi tilted his head down the barest amount his one uncovered eye twitched. Naruto just made himself comfortable and fell asleep on him.

Just like that.

He should be unnerved, no he _was_ infuriated. This grown man, this _stupid boy_ just dumped all his troubles onto him. He left it up to the jounin to take him home and put him to bed. Kakashi continued walking even more frustrated then before. Because in a more perverted way that's what he wanted to do. Yet it seemed so out of place. It wasn't like this before. He didn't notice things like Naruto had a sexy smile, he made one hot woman and his body was quite grown up. Yet despite it all the boy did still depended on his teacher. Which Kakashi hated most of all.

Naruto was that cute stray animal that you pet once and he followed everywhere there after. It was slightly adorable until your sitting on the toilet and it's there at your feet staring at you continuously with shiny eyes. Help me sensei, feed me sensei, makes all my worries go away sensei. It wasn't as if Naruto wasn't independent but he still needed. The spiky hair idiot wanted a family, he kept his friends so close. While he could do things for himself like stand up and walk home instead he begs for help wanting to get it just so he felt loved. Like a fool that's what the jounin did. Kakashi really shouldn't be supporting this behavior towards himself. He should have walked away.

Life's little regrets.

Now with a heavy burden in his arms, due to his own careless actions he forgave himself assuring that this was the last time for this sort of thing. He wouldn't so easily allow sparkling blue eyes to dupe him next time. Even the blessed Uchiha stares didn't work so well, it is true cuteness wins over threats. It's why women win arguments and you never look a pretty thing in the eyes. Kicking up dust as he neared the young boys house on the edge of the village he resolved to fight harder when next they meet. Naruto had won this round but he wouldn't let temptation win over wisdom again.

Standing on Naruto's doorstep he came to another obstacle. To get the door open without the use of his hands. It wasn't like he could henge a clone with his mind. Looking to his left he stared at the window. He could throw Naruto through it probably... wouldn't hurt the boy much. A crack of a most sadistic smile crossed his face before he shook his head thinking better of it. Taking a deep breath he lifted his leg and with the flat of his foot kicked the door in with a loud crack, knocking it off the hinges so it laid flat on the floor. The younger man slept on like a baby, where did all that ninja training go? Kakashi could never get so at ease in anyones company and all the blond did was curl into him more dragging a drool line over his vest, mumbling about penguins stealing his rainbows or something of that effect.

A lot more relaxed with releasing his tension on the young man's door he sauntered in the pane of wood creaking as he walked over it with renewed vigor, filled with his usual lazy cheer. The place look much as it had when the boy was a kid. Rather clean as Naruto didn't keep many possessions one acquires as a child. No one there to buy all those things you must have as a young child. By now he had grown old enough not to value material possessions aside from a painting here and old mask there..

His room was far more interesting. He had all sorts of pictures on the walls of his friends, people he met on his missions and travels, he even had several of Kakashi himself he wasn't aware of. Placing Naruto on the bed he covered up the dirty boy nearly naked in his short shirts and shirt the young man hardly stirred other to burrowing his face in a pillow. Not one to snoop he couldn't help but be curious when he had seen a picture of himself with fellow colleagues as a young man. It was taken at least a decade ago quite a bit before he even took Naruto as a student, where did he get it from?

It was taken at a bar stand and his old friends were there, all three of his team at that time was K.I.A. when he was still in ANBU. He himself was at the far end only slightly turned toward the camera with his expression no different then it looks today, only the smile in his eyes was a bit more real. Looking over more photographs he found a few of Sandaime and Jaraiya at a young age. These pictures were older than even Kakashi himself was. He looked at Naruto intently. It had been ages since he visited the boy's room, he never knew he was photo collector. He must have gone through a bit of trouble to gather all these. Perhaps from the old Hokages belongings.

When he found another picture one of himself when he was a chuunin he remembered getting his picture taken after the exam. Someone asked him to pose and he just snorted walking away. It explains why its of his back with some other person as the main focus but how the blond found such a miscellaneous photograph... why he wanted it was a mystery.

The walls were covered, all full of old and new photos, a few with Gai as a child which was disturbing since he look exactly the same in a smaller version. Naruto even kept a old photo of the 3rd Hokage and all three of his students, it was the only photo he guess the blue eye boy took liberty with to draw Orochimaru with a mustache, goatee with devil horns and a tail. Seeing it oddly enough made him laugh inside. Naruto didn't like the man but he had no fear of him either.

His joy was short lived to see a picture Jaraiya standing next to a man once his teacher. At that time that man was a boy, half the height of an adult and he looked up at the sannin with displeased eyes at his hair being ruffled by a large hand. In all his years he couldn't ever remember seeing Yondaime as a boy. No pictures at all. He turned around and swiftly left the room with a pointed look in his student's direction before leaving.

There are just some things a man doesn't want to think about.

oxoxoxoxoxo

Such lovely fertile flowers so alive and filled with color. Pink ones, whites ones, all so lively and vibrant. They were so beautiful they brought a tear to the old man's eyes. Delicate in nature, enchanting by design he could look at them all day and never grow tired or bored. If he could he'd like to die laying in a flower bed covered by their soft petals, the warmth of their sweetness at his side. That was how he wanted to go.

"Jiraiya as much as I don't like with holding you from seeking inspiration I have to a few words to share with you."

The older man tense only slightly. It wasn't Kakashi appearance that had him alarmed, he felt him coming, but the tone of his voice as low as he spoke words hardly carried by the wind. He turned to see the young man not even bother to fake a smile and he raised a brow. Looking through the peephole at his flower garden of naked female bodies he sighed ripping himself away. Whenever the boy came around he usually had something important to say, he just couldn't turn away his number one fan.

Standing up and scratching the back of his head he sighed miserably starting to walk away when he heard more giggles and his feet where magically pulled back into place kneeling before the hole. He held out a hand before Kakashi could even say anything signaling he was stealing one last moment. The silver hair jounin was bothered enough that he had the urge to pull the other man's hair away and start yelling obscenities in his ear. He didn't become the ninja he was today by losing self control as he started talking knowing the other could hear him.

"I went into Naruto's room today."

Jiraiya was motionless, his back still to other. A oppressing atmosphere fell over the ally. The younger man calmly waited as his feelings settled, the stirrings of an outburst ready to erupt before his rage slowed to a boil, cooled enough to continue on.

"Did you think it was a wise thing to do?"

Jiraiya was quick to reply to that, his voice monotone.

"Who are you concerned about him or yourself?" Kakashi bristled as if slapped in the face, the old toad sannin continued on. "It's not that I don't understand it better to hide things to spare other people, but to use it as a way to become a coward and shut out everyone... You might not listen to me but I imagine sooner or later he'll wait you out."

As the older man stood, dusting off his knees and stretching out his back with a crack the jounin tighten his hands to fists, his visible eye harden to a glare but when he spoke again his voice was still neutral with just a hint of malice.

"What exactly are you getting at? Your in no right to change my way of life, your certainly not my fa-"

"I don't intend to be..." He cut the masked man off shrugging his shoulders and making a face as though he swallowed something distasteful. "...But one of these days these old bones of mine are going to lay to rest and they will alone. For all the people in the world close to me and my past are gone. I have very little left. Your young, you could still get a wife." He extenuated the word wife and his present company gave off the aura of a man about to choke someone. Turning his head Jaraiya had the most devious smile on his face. "Mostly its enjoyable to watch your life turn to chaos, everywhere that brat goes he is always leaving piles of shit in his wake. To see you waddling through it puts a smile on my face." The hermit man let out a roar of laughter and never before did Kakashi desire to vitally damage the man.

It's not as if he ever had a reason too before, Jaraiya's actions were already out of place. Yet he couldn't just very well let the other get away with it, he knew he couldn't kill the legendary ninja but he could sacrifice his life doing it, crazier things have happened.

"Your not going to kill me so don't even try, who would finish the Icha Icha series then?"

Glowering at the sannin who just read his mind he logically concluded if he died in the attack he wouldn't be able to read it anyway. Though he yearned to see it to the end. He needed his fix of smut, to have all the mysteries solved and story line to be completed. No he couldn't leave it end off like that... All his rage left him and he was left as ash to a fire. Nothing but a kindling ached in his stomach as the older man cheerily walked past him.

"Just because your older doesn't mean you don't have something to learn from your younger generation Copy-nin, now I'm off, all this talking has brain stormed me a whole new idea just begging to be brought to life!"

The perverted toad ninja waved his hand as he retreated delightfully happy where Kakashi was emotionally defeated. The one person he thought understood him and he was really against him. He was siding with Naruto's ideals yet neglected to act on them himself, what a selfish fat bastard! He'd get him later for that. Walking on towards home he wish again to make people just go away. He didn't need old geezers butting in or blond idiots hassling him. He liked things the way they were.

oxoxoxoxoxo

Cuddling his blanket close Naruto began to wonder why his bed was so cold. Did the penguins do that? Somewhere between dreamland and reality he realized that made no sense, penguins live in the arctic. Opening his eyes and feeling around his bed, for a brief embarrassing moment he realized his bed was very wet. Looking down at his crotch he sighed relief, it would be mortifying if a man his age started wetting the bed. His bed was soaked and covered in dirt with his comforter kicked to the floor. It seemed Kakashi-sensei had no qualm's about sending Naruto to bed covered in dirt and water. The older man could have at least peeled off his clothes. His eyes scanned his room, he was grateful the jounin didn't leave him out on the street the moment he fell asleep. He knew the jounin wasn't that bad of a guy.

Stretching his arms out the dim light coming from the partially closed blinds told him while he hadn't been sleeping long the day was well on its way to night. The orange glow illuminated his sparsely furnished room was quite appealing to him, he had the urge to paint his room orange, orange with red swirls. Only he forgotten he meant to do that a few times a month, each time he'd put it off.

Pulling off the teeny tiny shirt and pair of shorts he felt a sense of relief. Shifting from foot to foot he swore never to wear the shorts again, lest he never want to have Uzumaki babies. He walked out of his room naked as the day he was born and down the hall to his bathroom all the while rubbing his sore muscles. His body ached and the cat nap only helped so much.

When his feet touched the cold floor he remembered something else he'd been meaning to buy, a carpet for the bathroom floor. Being a young ninja bachelor he was away from home more often then not. He stopped keeping perishable food in the house quite a while ago since it would wastefully go bad and he wasn't that good of a cook anyway. Ramen, take out and occasionally Iruka's home cooking was what he ate these days. He hated having to do his laundry and cleaning the house with chemical products when he hardly used it at all. Menial tasks where annoying to him, as a future Hokage he planned to assign a house maid first thing. When he was Hokage he could always order Sasuke to do it and the bastard would have to obey.

He turned on the hot water as he jumped into the shower deciding if it would be more demeaning to make Sasuke wear a black and white maid outfit or a frilly pink apron. Dipping his head under the still cool water he began humming a tune off key as he grabbed the soap to wash his bits and pieces. The water was slightly tinted as it fell down the drain, all the dirt washed away from his body and he almost purred as the water became hot relieving the stress of his muscles.

He put the soap down and squeezed some shampoo on his hair as he contemplated his next course of action. He needed food. Again he cursed his luck and prayed he still had ramen in the cupboard. If Kakashi-sensei would have played nice and just bought him dinner to start with his stomach wouldn't feel like it was carnivorously eating his insides right now. He stopped humming when he thought about his former teacher. Washing his hair he thought about how hot and cold the man was. It wasn't easy to tell what the man's limits of affection were. Though he didn't appreciate his ninja glomp the other month, he didn't seem to mind carrying him home today. Sometimes in his younger days his sensei would bring him vegetables trying to force him to eat healthier. Now that he thought about it, Kakashi didn't ignore him as much as when he was younger. Though Kakashi always set how long he'd hang around Naruto it was never this restricted. The blond had to resort to extreme alternative methods just to get the man to stop in the street and acknowledge him. If the older man didn't like mud balls thrown at his back he should just say hi to the blue eye man once and a while.

Huffing he rinsed off and got out of the shower wanting to pull back as soon as his feet touched the cold floor. Sucking it up he stood on the cool tiles as a mist ran through the air, his bathroom mirror clouded. Water dripped to the floor as he realized he had no towels in here. Sighing he walked out of his warm heaven to the hallway. With his hot water mist gone he quickly waddled over to the linen closet the air turning the water on his body icy so he quickly scrambled to get a towel.

He ignored as his feet left dark imprints of water on the carpet as he went back to his room to dress. Once in the room he glared at his dirty bedsheets as though they'd stop being dirty if he stared at them long enough. Another chore he didn't want to do. Rummaging around his clothes he grabbed a red tee shirt that was a little small for his size and long black shorts that squeezed him. All his orange clothes were dirty spilling out from his laundry basket at the corner of his room like an angry colorful blob. Did he grow that much since he left and had it really been that long since he did the wash? He was wondering what that tangent smell was. He wasn't looking forward to cleaning them. With a turn of his nose he decided to do it later and quickly dressed.

It was as standing before his dresser he noticed two stacks of books. Upon closer inspection he realized they were the one's Kakashi-sensei bought. Lifting them up and looking them over he wondered just how could the other man forget them, these were more important then... well porn was Kakashi's ramen. His joy in life. Scooping up the piles he decided to bring them to him. Walking out of his room and past the kitchen Naruto snickered. He'd trade the books for a ramen dinner, the jounin couldn't refuse him then! He'll eat like a king tonight. As he went to open his front door balancing all the books in one hand he heard an odd creaking as he turned the knob, before figuring out what it was the door collapsed on him the books flying in every direction. Trapped under the door Naruto changed his mind about Kakashi being a good guy, the bastard broke down his door! Pushing it off his body and sitting up he felt a cool breeze flow through the house and ruffle his hair. This meant**war**.

oxoxoxoxo

Kakashi miserably kicked off his shoes at the front door and sneezed, he hoped he wasn't getting a cold, he had been doing that a lot on his long walk home. Being long as in he stopped at the memorial to visit his old friends. Morosely he walked up the stairs to get a shower. When he entered his bathroom and turned on the light his skin prickled. Stilling he scanned the room and noticed he left his bathroom window open from that morning when he had to... air out the bathroom. Shaking off the slight alarm he closed it and began stripping starting off with his vest and shirt. He was taking off his pants when a shiver went down his spine. It was really cold in here. In his underwear and mask he turned on the water and threw his clothes over top the hamper right next to the shower. He barely spared the time to take off his boxers and mask before he jumped in the tub. The water warmed quickly and he savored the feeling of it beating down on his flesh.

Opening his eyes and looking to the ceiling he pondered over Jaraiya's words earlier. If he didn't know any better, the toad man was more than just cheering on Naruto's harassment, he could be feeding him ideas. The blond was dense so he wouldn't catch onto Kakashi's thoughts by himself, but Jaraiya was wise enough to. That's not to say the old man knew anything, Kakashi didn't say a word about it to him. He shrugged it off and started soaping his body up. Though the sannin's comment earlier ate at him. The way he said wife and the look in his eye. Shaking his head the jounin started washing his body harder ignoring his trail of thoughts. He was just paranoid, Jaraiya didn't know, Naruto didn't know, there was nothing wrong.

While washing his hair he wondered why the chill in his body didn't go away. He stopped sneezing and he didn't feel cold but there was something in the air making him itch under the skin. He swiftly finished his shower turning off the water and reached for a towel on the wall rack. He was wiping off his face when he opened the curtain. Looking around his bathroom everything seemed orderly enough. Everything was in place and clean, yet he looked to see his clothes fell off the hamper. Walking out of the tub he wrapped the towel around his face ignoring his nude body and swiftly opened the hamper. A pair of mis-matched eyes met those of blue oceans. Naruto was clutching a pair of black boxers, squeezed in the hamper in a most uncomfortable position. He stared long and hard wondering if he should be pissed off Naruto was stalking him again or laugh hysterically. He continued to glare while a hand waved.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei... I was ummm... burrowing your... underpants." The blond stared at the underwear while talking reaching for anything to say. Kakashi couldn't take it and closed the lid, leaving the bathroom without a word. He was in front of his dresser putting on another mask first ignoring that he was dripping water everywhere when he started laughing. He felt angry, Naruto intruded on his privacy, the bastard was hiding in the bathroom while he was showering. It was the most ridiculous thing in his life. If the kid was an assassin he could have been killed, but he wasn't, he was an underpants thief trying to look at his naked face. The thought made all of the silver hair jounin's energy leave him and he clung to the bureau while he was in a fit of giggles.

The older man was busy muffling his laughter into his arm lying against the dresser awkwardly when his "thief" came out the bathroom. The other man ignored him in favor of trying to pull himself together, he was in tears for crying out loud. Naruto stood out the far side of the room only one step away from the bathroom. He was concerned since his teacher seemed to have flown off his rocker. Either Kakashi had lost it or was currently trying to get it back to take out holy hell on his ass. He was not comforted by either thought contemplatively looking to the door with longing.

The sharingan user began to dry himself off little burst of the gigglies escaping his lips, Naruto found it creepy. Kakashi wanted to be mad, he sincerely did. He wondered if anyone had this problem, a blond wart on the side of their toe that you try to get rid of and it keeps coming back. It's no wonder how he got Sasuke to come back, the punk just wouldn't stay down. A cold realization ran through his body and he stilled in the middle of putting on his other pant leg. The pause scared the other room's occupant greatly.

Jaraiya said it would happen. He said Naruto would whittle down his reserve. Wearily putting his pants on, he zipped them up and turned to his guest. The blond was trying to measure the look he was getting but the scale was going against his favor. Kakashi stared at the other like he was the enemy, he WAS the enemy, this boy was trying to break him down, tame him. Naruto was trying to steal away his defenses. Chipping little by little at everything that made him who he was. The younger man withered guessing maybe he was right, his sensei gained back his senses and if he wasn't careful the other might just try to hurt him.

"Ka-Kaka-Kakashi-sensei don't look at me like that, I didn't mean any harm." The dark gleam in the older man's eye had the ramen lover sweating, he raised his hands in surrender. "Really, I didn't even see much of anything anyway." When Kakashi broke the cold stare to put on a shirt it only alarmed Naruto more. The slow walk to the bed where the masked man sat down, his every movement contained with dangerous leased power frightened Naruto, since he knew the cause was all from him. It made him think his blackmail idea wasn't any good, not now, things were becoming increasingly risky.

"That's not what what most people who see me naked say." Kakashi huffed resting his elbow on his knee cheek perched on his fist. His sensei looked put off. If Naruto didn't know any better that was a little pout the older man was sporting. The blond was like a fish in a flower patch. What was with Kakashi's intense mood swings lately? The younger male would question his sensei's gender and menstrual cycle if he wasn't also in fear of repercussions. He would keep that rebuttal to himself.

For as heavy as the air was before the silver hair man's aura calmed considerably though Naruto was sure it was all buried down somewhere. For all the years he knew the other man Kakashi did not reveal his emotions if he could help it, the instant he did then would quickly gather himself and dismiss them. The blue eye prankster wasn't sure if it was because the veteran jounin found that good ninja's never lose control or just because he didn't want to show anything that could viewed as a weakness. Though it could be said it was just a genius thing, something he himself would never understand. Considering the geniuses he knew they all strode to being perfect and emotionless. Which ended up making them extra emotional if you poked them just right, what idiots.

One dark brown eye rolled and the lips behind the mask were moving. "That was a joke Naruto. Now why in... no, no, I won't even ask. Whatever gave you that idea and made it logical in your head I don't need to know as no man should. I will tell you I won't forget this and will be paying you back, so leave so I can relax and kick the shit out of you later." Again Kakashi's tone was light and pleasant yet Naruto felt a wave of doom crashing over his senses. The man certainly would be remembering this for later. Though he still held a trump card!

Steeling his nerves he slowly slunk over to stand before Kakashi and crotched moving slow as not to alarm his sensei. A hard dark eye gradually widen in surprise as he the blond kneeled before him slow and gracefully his breathing stopped and he was on high alert. When Naruto's arm brushed his leg the older man bolted back jumping onto the ceiling. As Naruto stared up at his sensei who was currently upside down giving him one of the most strangest looks his hand froze and from Kakashi's bird's eye view he saw a book in the young blond's hand that he pulled from under his bed. The older man's heart was hammering in his chest and blood swimming in a rush through his veins, it took a few more moments to realize that it was really a book in Naruto's hand, his book in fact, one of many he purchased earlier.

The blond looked slapped, frightened and bewildered all at once. Kakashi felt a ripple of guilt though he wasn't sure why. The boy had invaded his home and space, he had every right to be alarmed and should be beating the crap out of the boy. Wounded eyes turned away from the awkward stare up/down gaze when Naruto looked to the bed as to distract himself. Feeling rather foolish the silver hair man released his chakra from the wall and landed smoothly on the bed slightly hoping to read the other man's eyes and catch a glimpse into what the kid might be thinking. They remained diverted and the silence thickened between them. His life was so much better when he was left alone so much more peaceful. He didn't have to worry about underpants thieves breaking into his home and turning situations around to make him feel like the criminal.

"I have a proposition for you Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto broke the silence and gave him a devious hard stare with an evil smirk. "More like... an exchange of sorts." The whisker marks on the boy's cheeks looked like rows of evil smiles. Something simmered in those blue eyes aside from mischief, it look like pain. What did Kakashi do? It wasn't his fault stupid boy didn't have the right to stare at him like that! The harden ninja sneered though there was a rebellious emotion running around his body taking the heart out of his conviction. This is what he was talking about, this is why he couldn't be around this boy.

A hard smack of the book on the sun-kissed hair boy's hand brought the jounin's focus back into the conversation at hand. "All your books to be returned to you once you buy me all the ramen I want." Naruto held the book up tauntingly, a fist on his side, hip twisted almost effeminately. Like a tease. "I have them all hidden somewhere only I know, you can have them all back once I'm satisfied." It was Kakashi's turn to be shocked again. His face lit up red and there was a look in his eyes that the boy couldn't read, it was scary yes, but he wasn't afraid this time. His former sensei WOULD bend to his will and give him what he wanted. He owed Naruto something from treating him like a disease not to be touched. Uzamaki Naruto would not take that shit anymore, certainly not from his sensei no matter how much the other man disliked to be touched.

"Well? What do you say... _Ka.Ka.Shi. Sensei _?" Naruto accentuated the last part purring it out as it rolled off his tongue. Kakashi looked away face red, the room filling up with pure friction.

oxoxoxoxoxo

I'd write more but than I can't be sure when I'd have time, I'm such a procrastinator three pages could take me days or weeks. As it was these ten pages took three months. Reviews help even when it doesn't seem like I'll be updating. Thank you to the five people who help make this chapter possible. I'll add a point into the story eventually as well. Next chapter will the silver dog have his day or will the naughty fox get his way?


	3. Chapter 3

Well wonderful people another chapter, another day... Who here likes KakashixNaruto? I hope you do cuz your making me think KakaSasu is more loved! In any case I post this now then I continue onto working on chapter three of I'm not fat, I'm pregnant... To think how hard it is writing smut entirely by yourself. Oo That chapter is taking forever... I can only imagine how long I will put off KakaNaru sex... It's difficult to write it when all you want to do is read it!

On with the chapter. Bon Appetite

oxoxoxoxo

In the dim light of Ichiraku ramen stand Kakashi sat with his chin in his hand, staring off into space, wondering how he came to be sitting next to Naruto, who was carnivorously slurping up noodles and a pile of bowls. Sure, he could recall the entire chain of events in his head, but with the circumstances he was faced with, he was on the losing end from the start. From the moment he lifted up the hamper lid, he had lost. His enemy ambushed him, exploited his weak spots, overwhelmed him and before he realized it he'd surrendered to Naruto's demands and miserably sat in this stool. If he were in a real battle, this last one would be considered a massacre. Worst of all, the little punk did it without even trying. The blond had no idea what exactly he was doing and that it hit the jounin where it hurt.

"Hmmm Kakashi-sensei aren't you going to eat?" The masked ninja turned his head just enough to see Naruto's face as licked his lips, another finished bowl of ramen the dish added to the top of the pile. It seemed his hunger was stated enough to initiate a conversation, one the older man wasn't all that eager to have.

Kakashi wanted to respond hastily, _'You have your food. This isn't a date. It's not like I want to fucking be here'_ but withheld lest he give the impression that he was a sore loser. He muscled up his best lazy smile and answered. "Since your eating so much I'm afraid I'm going to be bankrupt by the end of the night." It achieved his desired effect. Naruto looked solemn and guilty, the sight restoring a small amount of the jounin's pride. The young man didn't seem as enthusiastic to continue depleting Kakashi's funds (which were actually far from taking a hit even if the blond ate all the noodles in stock. Living in his low-rent apartment despite good pay and his substantial inheritance left him well off, but Naruto didn't need to know that.)

A small noise brought his attention to the front of him as he saw a steaming bowl of miso noodles place before him. The stand's owner was smiling warmly. "Go on, eat. It's on the house." The wrinkled smile increased and he waved both hands towards the silver hair jounin as to encourage Kakashi to eat. Naruto looked surprised as he did for a minute before breaking out in a huge grin.

"Hey old man what about me too! I've been a loyal costumer for years. Where's my free bowl?" The blue-eyed boy pointed towards himself exaggeratedly and the stand owner looked at him with scorn-laced amusement.

"I just gave you a free bowl before you left, you mooch. I can't always give you hand outs or I'll lose my business." He crossed his arms and gave the boy a stern look which Naruto waved off.

"What are you talking about old man, I am your business! Without me this dump would go under!" Naruto stretched out his arms, intent on claiming he practically owned the place before a ladle came down on his head.

"Keep talking like that and I'll ban you for a week." After his declaration the young man wilted and begged rather dramatically. Naruto always had to do everything over the top. He would have fit in as one of Gai's students.

"Go on Kakashi-san, ramen is best when eaten while it's still hot." The aging man continued ignoring the blond practically groveling at his side. The look in the older man's eyes led Kakashi to believe he was looking for something. He hardly knew the stand's owner aside from a few visits when his student convinced him to come so this stroke of generosity made no sense. What was that gleam in the older man's eye? It unsettled him and the ninja in him made him wary to eat the noodles.

"Kakashi-sensei, a poison dart isn't going to shoot out of your bowl. Buuut... if you don't want it, I'll take the risk." The elder ninja didn't realize his expression was showing, or that Naruto might have been observing him closely. The blonde's tone mocked him, drawling out his words. He even went as far as to snatch Kakashi's bowl, swirling his chopsticks in the noodles, readying himself to take a big bite. Without hesitation he snatched Naruto's chopsticks and the bowl, spilling nothing as he placed it back in their proper place and glared at his company childishly. Those were his noodles; he wasn't giving anything else to the little punk.

For some reason that seemed to please Naruto and he just smiled as though something pleasant just happened between them. It got on Kakashi's nerves and he wanted to crawl away from this place. To hole up in his apartment until another mission came. There was a unspoken war going on between them, the battles so uncertain that it was unclear as to why the other person won the fight, but they did and Kakashi Hatake was on the losing end again.

The seventeen year old called for more ramen, and after a bit of make-up sweet talk to the cook he got it, delightedly smiling. It was almost enough to make the older man to smile too. That is, if he hadn't been forced here due to cunningly sneaky tactics and ended up stuck paying the bill. Naruto asked for more chopsticks and set to work on his new bowl when Kakashi realized he had been just cradling his and turned to stare at his untouched noodles.

A splash and feminine screech later, Kakashi jumped up and back, pulling out a kunai as a few other nearby trained ninja did. Hatake cursed his luck he was ever forced on this outing. His former student screamed over a plush toy that had fallen into his noodles, a penguin one at that. The hound-summoner sat back down and put his knife away without word, releasing a sorrowful huff. He ignored the world around him as Naruto picked the toy out of his soup and stood up. The nearby ninja looking none to happy about the disturbance. The vicious gleam in his blue eyes looked as though he thirsted for blood and began ripping out the stuffing, though there was no blood splatter if you had a good imagination the white cotton could be seen as such.

"Stupid penguin... trying to steal... my ramen!" Beneath his breath Kakashi heard the more offensive words. He pulled down his mask slightly, readying to eat when he remembered something about rainbows. Thinking about it, rainbow sounded like ramen almost, if you mumbled it. The cook didn't know why the unmasked jounin was laughing softly, but he was graced with the appearance of the other man's face as he ate so the laugh in turn seemed inconsequential.

Throwing the plushie to the ground, the red and black clad boy stomped on it as a man slightly taller than he came up with a little girl holding his hand and crying at his side. Naruto stared curiously as he was glared at by what looked to be a farmer of the village; the calluses on his hands weren't of holding a kunai or sword but a garden hoe. His build was muscular although fat collected at his belly. He would have been mistaken for a ninja if it wasn't for those telltale signs.

"You just ruined my daughter's favorite stuffed animal." The words were sharp and full of vehemence. Naruto went still, looking at the little girl crying with guilt and remorse. She looked at Naruto with glossy eyes reminding him of a fragile doll, the dirt on her face from a hard day of playing did more to add to the sweet innocence than tarnish it. It hit him hard thinking he just made the child cry. He lifted his foot off the toy and picked it up, looking at it with a hurtful glint in his eye. Kakashi ate his noodles slowly, though made no move to get up or even turned to see what was happening. He just discreetly listened in.

"I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't know." He wasn't looking at the man, his eyes were fixated on the child as she huddled close to her father's pant leg as for comfort. Her tears were tainting the fabric a darker color. Around him voices were speaking, whispers though they were not quiet. Accusing voices _heartless man_ they said, _poor child_ they insisted, _devious monster_ his mind added. It was time rolled backwards and he was a child again. Same accusatory voices speaking of his worthless existence, the feeling was overwhelming as though the air became thick and he couldn't but fight to breath. Fight the belief that he shouldn't be alive.

Biting his lip he closed his eyes willing block the voices murmuring like a jury defining his life as a crime. Slowly he bent down body quivering and reached out to give the battered toy back to the girl. "If you like I could fix it and put the stuffing back in." he said voice low and coaxing giving her a hopeful smile. For an instant the noises she made settled as she looked at him with curious eyes before his hand was slapped the toy flying to the ground, again, his fragile hope fell with it. A few inches away a loud voiced roared above his head harsh and much louder than all others. The crowd stilled watching with rapt fascination.

"Don't touch my child. How could you do such a thing?! It was reckless and irresponsible! I ought to brand your hide with my running iron..."

From a few feet away, oblivious to Naruto's inner struggle, blocking out the droning of an enraged old man Kakashi was slurping down noodles slightly eased with his former student getting in trouble. He always did act before thinking, to say the boy was selfish in his ways was true as it was not. Naruto's problem was he was always going out of his way to help others but in turn he was just benefiting himself, getting the attention and praise he wanted. The jounin never did fall into his trickery, but it didn't stop the blond from resorting to blackmail. The reminder left a bad taste in the older man's mouth as he swallowed down his food.

Looking into his bowl he was halfway finished when he realized he was using the chopsticks that were in Naruto's mouth. He was eating slower than ever before almost as though he were savoring the food. Kakashi didn't even know he was doing it, it was just the _natural_ thing to do at the time. He made an indistinguishable face before continuing to eat, though faster than before.

"Damn monster! You should have been put down when you were born..."Words so cold, so close from hitting old wounds, Naruto eyes looked numb from it. He didn't move from where he kneeled on the ground just silently took the verbal beating as though his body was there yet his mind was somewhere else. Another place, another time.

A shadow fell over his prostrated form partially covering his figure in darkness. A smooth indolent voice, devoid of care yet a familiar comfort, chimed in waking his conscious from its hazy dream.

"My my, what mean thing Naruto did to this pretty little girl. That stupid boy and his tricks." A gloved hand was grasping blond locks and pulling at them, the pain bringing forth a struggle as Naruto battled Kakashi's hand away from him. The jounin chuckled before turning back to the farmer who looked as surprised as he was angered. Kakashi titled his head up to look the man in the eyes. He was over half a foot taller and his body mass was about tripled the ninja's. The hard look in the jounin's eye turned to a smile.

"My sincerest apologies." The words were hollow as his smile. "I, Hatake Kakashi, be sure to punish him properly later." For reasons of his own. "Hope this will cover your trouble." Kakashi reached out to lift the man's hand fatty fingers dwarfing his own slender digits as he shook the other's hand money in his palm. The alarmed look in the farmer's eyes turned to a wince and he fought to hide the reaction as the ninja held his hand for longer than necessary. The quiet warning going missed by the crowd itself. Slowly he released his hand a smile not matching the look in his eye.

Slowly he then the silver hair man crouched directly a much warmer smile to the little girl who bashfully stay by her father leg. "How about you princess, can you forgive the silly boy?" While the large man held his breath, the child smiled shyly and nodded her head. She blushed when Kakashi stroked her hair for a moment, the other man tensing up was not lost on him as he himself internally laughed. "How sweet of you, and so cute too I imagine all the young boys adore you." As the girl giggled charmed by the compliments he could feel the unnamed man ready to flee any given moment. _Like I'd hurt a child._

Standing back up gracefully the girl placed her hand on her head where she was touched, delighted by the attention. The masked man directed his gaze once again to the burly man half turning away in the same motion. "Is everything fine now?" He inquired, though it wasn't a question. The hasty nod he received in return made him smile almost as innocent as it appeared. Completely turning his back to set his attention to one young man, meek blue eyes looked up at him still not yet recovered but gaining back some of there usual color.

"You going to play in the dirt all night?" Kakashi hoped his voice didn't carry too much emotion.

There was a blinking of eyes and a few moments later Naruto stood up dusting himself off as he avidly paid no heed to the crowd of people dissipating around them, the man and his little girl long gone once the jounin dismissed their presence. When the blond was at full height staring down at Kakashi once again he was reminded Naruto wasn't a child. Though when huddled on the ground before he looked so small it held the illusion he was still his charge. He wasn't sure how he felt about the blond being a grown man. For the first time tonight the jounin frowned like he wanted too showing honest emotions.

"If you continue to show your vulnerability people will prey on it."

The older man brushed past the man's shoulder deliberately but not to leave as the whisker scarred man thought. Sitting down Kakashi readjusted himself as previously, head in hand, looking bored as before. This was something Naruto wasn't use too. It had been a long time since his sensei defended him in any way and he didn't use the opportunity to leave either. What was this?

Cautiously he sat back down well aware of a trained eye staring at his every movement. Naruto was grossly blushing, mostly in embarrassment. It had been a long time, not since being mocked but from it having such an effect from him and it had to happen while he was with _Kakashi_. For some reason that made it infinity worse. His cheeks were beat red as his hands clutched the tight pants. His body tense, muscles bunched as the other man stared at him quietly.

For the life of him he couldn't phantom just what the dog tamer was thinking. In his own Hatake Kakashi way he helped him but there was something odd about the whole situation. He couldn't bare to look at the eye watching him, like he could feel the pity in it. It was so not like the perverted ninja. Did Naruto look that pathetic out there to garner such emotions from the copy cat ninja?

"Oh my Kakashi-san that was brilliant performance. I've never been so touched." A proud booming voice broke the awkward silence in a comical way as the old ramen chef stared at Kakashi quite affectionately. Both costumers were stunned speechless.

"What a jerk that man was but you handled it so wonderfully, here have some more ramen..." Quickly Kakashi was given another bowl as the elder man gave a smile that practically swallowed his face, in return he received silence. I stayed that way until the gears in Naruto's head finally went back to work, only took three minutes.

"Your doing it again! If you have so much ramen to spare why not give me a free bowl?! What's your angle old man? Are you plotting something?!" The blond sat up slamming his hands against the counter. "What are you up too?" He suspiciously squinted at the other man who was rubbing the back of his head forcefully laughing his words off. Kakashi sat quietly and watched the exchanged throughly amused.

"What are you saying? Your fine sensei had the heart to come here and buy you dinner than back you up in a fight, good deeds should be awarded accordingly, you should act more grateful brat!" He smacked his fist on the counter causing the bowl to shake some of the contents spilling over, at which point the jounin moved his arms to avoid the liquid.

"He did it for me not for you, why are you giving him food? Your up to something and I know it!" Naruto was growling his words at that point Kakashi couldn't help but lift a brow at the display. Then the young man's face bled to surprise as understanding dawned on his face.

"You sneaky old man! You were looking at him... **naked**!" The old man blanched blushing madly while the veteran ninja froze. People all around stopped at the outburst. Kakashi outwardly groaned as Naruto caused another scene the third time that night. An accusing finger pointed at the man to emphasized the boy's point.

"You wanted to get a look at his face didn't you? You dirty pervert!" Naruto proceed to accost the man his face moving in closer until he was nearly against the other man's nose his almost crossing. The man on the other side of the stand could do nothing but blush sweating as his guilty crimes were voiced. Kakashi's next words were very crucial he chose them wisely.

"Wasn't that why you were peeping in on me in the shower earlier Naruto?" His voice was light and inquisitive as though he didn't even know the answer, the silver hair man was quite the actor after all. For a moment there was nothing but the visual of Naruto's face and neck turning red as sweat formed on his forehead. It spoke in volumes. For the most part the stand's owner looked just as flustered his image mirroring that of the blond's.

"Though you didn't get to see my face you saw far more skin than what was decent didn't you?" Slowly the young ninja turned straining his neck with the swell of tension to look at his delighted sensei, their third party had dropped his jaw and made a inhuman sound in his throat, something akin to wood creaking as straining from years of disuse.

Then the chase was on.

There was a battle cry by far more animal than man as the old man grabbed a frying pan and kitchen knife, Naruto was on his feet and running before the other could jump over the counter. Though speed he had as a ninja alone didn't out match the fury of one jealous man. Kakashi throughly enjoyed Naruto run around through the crowd of people with one demonic chef at his heels.

Sadist? Maybe a little.

Then there was another guest at his side watching the show with him.

"I thought you went home." It was a statement in as much as a question.

"I got bored."

"Hnn." Kakashi was surprised to even get a straight answer.

"You look to be having fun. So getting to laugh at someone's misery do it for you?" The baiting was a more typical response the jounin expected, one he was more comfortable with.

"Why whatever are you saying Sasuke-kun? You know only Icha Icha and your bedroom eyes can inflame my passion."

He didn't turn to see the Uchiha behind him but he didn't miss the intensity of the gaze aimed at his back.

"That's what I was speaking of, the fire in your eyes makes my body burn so." Kakashi spoke in a dead panned voice as Naruto, about thirty feet away, knocked over a vegetable stand. Jumping on it so rushed and clumsy all it took was the old chef to grab his ankle for everything to tumble over.

"Well the plan was to make you internally combust but the skill hasn't been perfected yet." His sarcasm was coupled with acidic disdain. The jounin wondered why the boy even expended energy acting as though he hated it so much when he sought to have a battle of wits with someone every chance he got.

"They already have a technique for that. It's called sex, you should try it sometime."

There was a silence behind him so the one eye ninja amused himself , as Sasuke gathered his bearings, with watching the ramen stand owner abandon his knife to belly flop onto Naruto from a roof he somehow manage to nimbly climb. The old man than proceeded to wail on the boy with obviously exaggerated hits. Then again since the young blond was use to taking beatings from Sakura the old man's hits would feel like being poked with a finger.

Why did Naruto look to gain attention from being beaten? The silver hair nin wondered if he wasn't masochist. He sought to prove his theory by looking below the belt line of one pair of tight black pants. He did find a bulge but it didn't look erect. He than decided looking at the same man's crotch twice in one hour seemed like he was interested. That was bad when he certainly was not.

"Is that all your perverted mind can think of?" Sasuke voice was as tense as it was vexed at losing already. Kakashi turned bringing his attention away from Naruto begging for mercy at the old man's feet as the old man stood with his arms crossed, to direct his gaze at the sharingan heir. He got a eye full of the equivalent of a Sasuke pout. Black eyes spoke of death and teeth were visible as lips thinned to the tightening of his jaw. It reminded the hound summoner of a vicious puppy biting back at his foe.

"If you knew what I know then I'm sure you'd be thinking of the same thing." The veteran jounin had a certain heinous gleam in his eye as he said that before he stood up swiftly. Sasuke was stunned to silence once again. The the blue eyed boy followed a shorter older man back towards them quickly blurting out apologies and promises, one of them Kakashi swore sound like 'I'll get pictures next time.' Actually he was rather sure of it, which was unnerving to think Naruto would spring up in his house again at random this time with the purpose of getting nudes pictures. He didn't expect that kind of kinkiness from Naruto.

Why did that thought not disturb him like it should?

"I'd rather become a eunuch than think like you do Kakashi."

The silver hair man was thankfully erupted from his trail of thoughts by Sasukes reply. Sincerely his mind wandered off with or without his say on it. Genius minds had it hard.

"Whats a eunuch?" Naruto blurted out as he approached genuinely curious and quickly pushing the fact he was just beaten by one old man out of his head. How easy simpletons had it.

"If you do not know then just know you are and how much better the population of the world is with it as such." Was Sasuke long winded reply. It amused the veteran jounin the Uchiha proceeded to pick on someone slow minded because he couldn't win in fight with a man who's crafty intellect exceeded his own. He needed to teach his student a lesson.

"He called you dickless Naruto." Kakashi advised receiving a curious look from Naruto and a glare from Sasuke. The reaction there after was expected, the blond exploded.

"You asshole! Why is everyone about my dick? It's there and its fine more than you could handle!" Naruto had his fist in the dark eye boy's face and his reply was more, well, homosexual then he realized. Everyone but him thought so.

"I think he just made you an offer Sasuke what do you think?" Naruto found it odd Kakashi's voice was so close to him but he didn't think about the heat near his back until a wind chill hit his bare ass.

Honestly outings with Naruto were never dull and there was always a lot of attention, _alot_ of unwanted attention. This time though Kakashi was proud to get jump on the boy and for once to be the cause of the mischief.  
Naruto stood in all his glory, pants around his ankles with his naughty sensei at his feet. You could hear the blushing of the people around them. Childrens eyes being covered over, men trying not to look so threatened and women with unnatural gleams in their eyes. Sasuke was at the front line of it. It hadn't been the first time to see the boy naked but it had since Naruto grew into a man. _A man he was_, suddenly the brunette didn't feel so high and mighty.

"Well Sasuke how's the merchandise looking? Something you want to invest in?" Kakashi was all smiles dosed in sinister evil. The silver hair man patted Naruto's thigh a couple of times before having the decently to stand back up bringing the tight pants back up in their place as he did so. The blue eye man for his part had yet to react and remained stationary as all this happened. The old man turned three shades of red and two shades of blue as he forgot to breath and choked a moment later fighting to get air back in his lungs.

"Kakashi... did you just... pull down my pants?" Naruto asked in a almost whisper. Must have still been shocked by the trauma. The former teacher made a affirmative sound as he hid being worried at the lack of an explosion on the blond's part.

"Oh. I'm going home now. See everyone later." He mutely waved and turned to go the few people around after the night of chaos stayed clear of him but he paid no heed as he walked down the road. His pants weren't zipped or button back up either.

They were even more surprised about that, Kakashi the most.

"I can't believe he did that." Sasuke said in a soft whisper.

"Me neither, Kakashi-san aren't you a little old for pranks?" The shop keep said a blush still powered his cheeks.

"I wasn't speaking of the pervert what's wrong with Naruto? He is dim witted but even he could understand humiliation." The dark eye Uchiha muttered displeased and rather wishing to have a brain scrubber, the images of tonight would haunt his dreams for sure.

Kakashi was a little scared himself but didn't show it instead after watching the blond disappear from sight entirely he gave a little wave of his hand and cheerily spoke. "Well tonight was exciting wasn't it? I really aught to be going home but you enjoy the rest of the evening. Just front me for the bill alright?" He said the last to the old man as he placed a hand on the his shoulder before walking home himself leaving Sasuke to pout as Sasuke did.

He knew Naruto well enough that just because tonight he got away with it surely tomorrow or another day the number one surprise ninja of Konoha would pay him back in full. Still though the reaction was peculiar, no yelling, no frantic blushing or trying to cover his genitals. It was a mystery even to him what the boy was thinking after that. One thing was for sure.

Kakashi didn't get his porn back that night.

oxoxoxox

I'll be honest I was in a hurry to end the chapter so I could get it out but at the same time I think this is a interesting thing to end with since everyone will have to wait a couple of weeks (months) to find out why Naruto just walked away. Also I found it funny that this is the first chapter the entire chapter was one scene... I can do it.

Note: Not everyone will understand Kakashi's reaction to the farmer, my friend thought it was rather callus. Kakashi said his name for a reason. A man's name carries worth as a ninja. It was Kakashi's way of saying, you should know me, you should know of what I can do, what I will do if you don't fuck off.

Isn't that so sweet? Kakashi's a tactless man not a knight in shining armor... he doesn't know how to be gentlemenly!


	4. Chapter 4

Meh updates might take longer soon as the holidays are coming up, don't be surprised if you don't see anything for a while.

And I still haven't updated my ItaKaka, I swear, I'm on page nine and its pretty much all smut so read it when its done won't you?

oxoxoxoxo

When Kakashi awoke that next morning to the beautiful music of dogs barking outside he was certain today would an awful one. He had no bases of the fact since he hadn't even opened his eyes yet but somewhere, deep inside, he felt it. His premonitions were rarely wrong. It was a despairing feeling. Yet despite his better judgment he got out of bed, he would not quiver under his sheets if there was no one with him.

He was completely naked aside from his face mask. Though he never wore it to bed, but after Naruto promised naked pictures of him he had to be ready for the blond's attack at all times. The thought of staying fully dressed every moment of the day never occurred to him despite the threat of his body being exposed on film, all his concern was on his face.

His feet padded against the wooden cool floor to his bathroom and as he passed by his hamper his lips twitched. The urge to lift the lid to be sure no one was there was great but he dismissed it. It was too soon for 'that one' to be hiding there again, instead he returned to using the facilities as intended. Sitting down after lifting the lid Kakashi placed his elbows on his knees, slouching as he stared off to the blank wall across from him. The paint color wasn't all that interesting, colored slightly yellow from age covered with a few curious brown stains leaks usually caused. It was his thoughts he was focused on.

One said impish ninja that was.

Yesterday was a utter failure. The noodle loving idiot hadn't been back a day and he already demolished most of Kakashi's dignity. He had been made a fool of, his kindness, what little he had, was taken advantage of. It was him who's life was encroached. Naruto and his damn arrogance in just doing whatever he felt like, treading into places not welcomed nor wanted. Why he was taking over the jounins head at this very moment! Invading his thoughts when all Kakashi should be thinking of is his porn and his next mission...

His porn.

He lowered his head in defeat.

The remembrance that his new, untouched, virgin novels that were trapped in the hands of a 'cretin' was sickening. He could just picture the blond now eating nacho flavored potato chips and turning the pages defiling the paper with orange stains laughing manically at the contents. The perversion of it all. Grumbling he lifted his head deciding that just thinking about it wasn't going to get his belongings back. He'd have to do something about it.

He'd have to venture into the lion's den.

Kakashi learned that situations with Naruto on a even playing field he was at the disadvantage, hell when he was in his own home he was at a disadvantage. He could ambush the boy and tie him up, take what was his and run far far away. Though that was rather cowardly in his mind's eye and improbable on the other hand. If he could do that he would have already done it. Though rigging a net trap with ramen as bait had a high chance of working. He'd need to remember that for plan B. As for what he actually do. He'd do what any normal person would do. He'd ask first.

It was simple, it was effective because today he was in no mood to play games. Not if he was subject of fun of course. Scratching his head due to the itches that always seem to happen once a person woke up he finalized his plan to speak to the porn thief. If all went well he'd only spend a few minutes of his precious time there and be done with seeing him for a while. If not.

Well he'd turn over every room it that house to get his books back.

Whistling a upbeat tune he tapped his fingers on his knee as he waited for his dead weight to leave him so he could start his day.

oxoxoxoxo

Morning, the most loathsome time of the day. The light trying to break in from the gaps in the curtain irritated his eyes and Naruto covered his head under a pillow to avoid the light. Quickly he began dozing off again only to hear a scurrying of feet off somewhere in his house. Odd, too loud to mice, a cat? Maybe a man? If it was an assassin he was extremely inconsiderate, it was the morning most attacks came at night when it was appropriate and just all around the smarter way to kill. At another time the fact he was even thinking there could be a killer in his house he would have acted on it but after a late night with ramen and jutsu scrolls he didn't feel like moving even if his belongings were being stolen.

So long as the thief left his ramen and bed.

Naruto was comfortably satisfied with falling back to sleep regardless of what was taking place in his own home only the unnamed person came into his room, bursting through the door so it hit his wall, very loudly. No assassin was this clumsy it must be someone he knew, which was worse. He couldn't kill them and go back to bed.

"Go away, I want sleeeep." The blond almost whined words muffled by the pillow and need for rest. Though it seems what he said caused a negative reaction with his present company. In an instant he was ripped from his comfortable bed onto the floor pulled by his own ankle, his head hitting the wood in a painful dazing way. He could see three light fixtures on the ceiling where before there was only one.

"Naruto for the love of... would you stop sleeping naked!" Came a male voice came from above him dress in tradition ninja garb of Konoha with a leaf head adoring his head.

"My clothes are dirty. What are you doing here Iruka-sensei? Why did you summon clones?" The nude man said from his position on the floor one leg still on the bed and showing off a great deal of himself, again.

"I didn't, you must have hit your head too hard..." The last portion of Iruka's words were said with concern before the realization he suppose to be mad at the boy and slammed a fist to Naruto's noggin, it wouldn't do much damage anyway.

The young man had survive quite fine with the few brain cells he had.

"You idiot, I had to hear from one of my co-workers that you came back last night and you didn't even come by to see me! I was so worried when you didn't come by I thought you were injured and here you are just being lazy. I should put you in the hospital myself!" He explained, confessed, vented. Good ol' Iruka and his paternal emotions. Sometimes he was a mother, sometimes a father, mostly moody as a pregnant woman.

Naruto grumbled and sat up pulling his foot off the bed to sit half tucked in Indian style. "I'm sorry it slipped my mind. I ran into Kakashi-sensei and had dinner with him." Blackmailed him for noodles was more like it.

The brunette stiffened before letting out a growl. "That's even worse, so you had time for other teacher and not me? I'll have your head!" Iruka attacked the defenseless blond getting his neck in a head lock and choking Naruto to full awareness. The boy clung on the arm for dear life.

"It's... It's not like... THAT! Lemme go!" The brunette released his violent grip enough so the young man wouldn't turn blue but held the other captive. To most others, in fact to Iruka several years prior, holding a naked man would be widely inappropriate and best left to same sex oriented people. Being a close important person to Naruto meant adapting to his peculiar rituals and bizarre way of thinking. It meant dealing with a lot of uncouth behavior. Instead of inflicting good traits on the young man he himself was tainted. He humored himself with thinking he had instilled some courteous manners and civility in him. Naruto did start showering regularly, cleaning with products instead of water and a rag. The boy even learned to cook food that required more than boiling water.

It was probably too late to instill proper teachings in wearing clean underwear at all times.

"Ir-Iruka-sensei, I swear... he started it!" Though Naruto voice started out breathy and low he ended with a high pitch whine throwing a fist in the air making the older ninja feel like he was dealing with one of his current day students rather then a fully grown one.

"He broke my door down while I was sleeping! I know it was him he left his porn behind." A cold chill slithered down his spine. The door was off its hinges when he came in. What did Kakashi do while Naruto was sleeping? Or rather, what did he do to Naruto while the boy was sleeping?

"He owed me! Please don't be mad Iruka." Naruto was talking as the old chuunin's mind swirled around with thoughts of Naruto sleeping naked one perverted jounin doing unspeakable things to him. He twirled his charge around at an awkward angle and shook him.

"What happened?! Where'd he touch you?! Dammit Naruto don't cover up for him! If he molested you tell me and I'll protect you!" At that moment in time, with Iruka's wild hair looking more spike and hard like his stern face, the blond was honestly scared for himself. Also the fact that he was almost eighteen, bigger and most likely stronger than his named molester yet that was the first conclusion Iruka drew from this. Poor man must be watching more of those dramas of children enduring abuse while everyone stays obvious to the depravity happening under their noses.

"Sensei, I'm too old to be attractive to a pedophile." Naruto said calmly hoping the blood lust in the other man's eyes died quickly, he felt like going to go to the bathroom where he sat. Iruka's eyes dwindled to confusion as the death shroud consuming the air deteriorated. What was left was this awkward silence as the older man's cheeks filled up with color. No longer able to sit still the butt naked boy escaped the hold on his arms and ran to the bathroom.

"I need to go pee!" Naruto scrambled yelling out loudly as he ran down the hall slamming the door after him. Trying to dismiss the embarrassment of the situation Iruka stood up and picked up the sheet from the floor proceeding to make his young friend's bed. As he got older he forgot the boy had gotten older as well. It was daunting to think instead of Naruto needed protection from perverts he needed protection. He heart rate tripled at the thought of the boy becoming a father and prayed that day was a long time off. Last time the ramen lover changed a diaper he turned a dirty one inside out and put it on the baby.

Iruka was in the middle of tucking the sheet under the mattress at the head of the board when his fingers bumped a pointed object. The older chuunin was almost surprised to think that Naruto would put a kunai under his pillow. Not that the boy didn't have just as many enemies as the next successful ninja, he had more than an average jounin did at the age of twelve, he just never seemed paranoid about it. Lifting the pillow his face drained of color and swiftly he returned it to its original position and abandoned making the bed completely. It was one thing to imagine Naruto as a sexual person, it was another to find porn under his pillow.

'I never figured him to read novels instead of getting the picture kind.'

oxoxoxoxo

"You're so full of it."

"Am not, I asked around, if Naruto didn't show up I would have won the competition and our bet!"

"Uh-huh, sure they weren't just saying that to hit on you?"

"I hate you."

Sakura just nodded and hummed an affirmative as she leafed through one of her friend's Cosmopolitan magazines. It proclaimed to teach you twenty different ways to please a man, fifty different makes up to purchase to wear for said man AND a ton wardrobe ad insertions which made the book a lethal weapon in a fight, you know, if you didn't have something more practical like a mace on hand. In her opinion though reading a ninja scroll on pressure points and donning tight, easy to remove clothing would guarantee you a happy man by the end of the night. Then again these things were for single civilian women anyway. It was still oddly fun to take the quizzes.

Her blond companion though was displeased at the pink haired girl's indifferent response and glared hard wanting to kick her leg from under the outside dinner's picnic table. She refrained though knowing she was better than that. Besides, she could always do something that couldn't come back to her later like drug Sakura's drink with a laxative. Ino smiled wickedly from her chin perched on her fist.

"Whatever you're plotting won't work on me. I can hear the rusty gears in your head clinking." Sakura looked up from the book to settle piercing green eyes on her best friend, sometimes though she wondered just why. Maybe it was just to amuse herself in moments she wasn't saving lives. Maybe it was because she liked winning against the other girl as much as she enjoyed bragging that she won against her. It was all in good fun.

"I have no idea what you're talking about I think it's rather presumptuous of you to assume I would have any of intentions of-..."

"You're using big words and complicated sentences, that's a big tip off right there." The medic ninja promptly cut off the curvaceous woman and her methodical rant. The blond took it rather well a shrugged her shoulders.

"Say what you want, you can't prove I am or not anyway."

It was than Sakura's eye lids turned to slits scrutinizing her present company before spotting a familiar face coming towards her with his face in a book.

"Kakashi-sensei, good morning!" She cheerily greeted after not having seen the man in a while. Her work tended to keep her at the hospital a place the older man avoided like a disease when he could, the irony. When the man approached he actually lifted his eye from the pages though she could it would wander back and up as though he was torn between them.

"Good day to you Pink..." His eyes adverted to the second woman his eye jubilant before glancing down to his reading material again. "and Busty." He let them soak up his words while his mind worked up wicked images and taunts. It had been a long while since seeing his old female student and her actions the other day where just too good not to tease with.

Sakura on her end of the table was first surprised by her teacher's words before at least acting mildly affronted. At least it wasn't her father making such a comment but it was pretty damn close. Ino though was beginning to irritate her since she seemed to enjoy the observation the older man made, giving the 'eyes'. She'd have to handle that woman later, maybe put a concoction in her drink to make her bowel movements erratic.

"Of course you wouldn't miss a thing, especially of that nature. Tell me you at least had to decency not to videotape it." She grumbled leaning back in her seat dropping the magazine. Then an nauseating voice had to speak.

"Why would he? I'm sure Kakashi-san doesn't need such things like that. Right Kakashi-san?" The jounin was mildly surprised the blatant flirtation and tone in the way she addressed his name. Very little surprised actually, more like a pin-prick of shock. She was a young girl and his student's friend but hardly a baby. Now if said student didn't look so furious and have left hook to cause massive craters and a right one to dent mountains he might have considered it. Self-preservation above pleasure.

But a little teasing wouldn't hurt.

"Pig don't you see him walking down the street with porn? I've seen his place he leaves in all on a self in his bedroom, in plain sight near tissues! He wouldn't be above any sort of kinky videos either." Now that was just inappropriate and a gross misconception. Novels were an art visual images couldn't compare too. And he didn't own a TV. How the girl got mouthy and disrespectful as she grew up. No wonder she was still single. Just because he'd never say it allowed didn't make him a coward. Preservation.

"Why Sakura-kun how undeniably rude of you to accuse. I don't pass judgment of the manga and books you read of two men exploring their sexuality..."

"I have no such thing!" The flushed pink headed girl tore in screeching unbecomingly at her ex-teachers statement staged in innocent defense and fake hurt.

"Actually yeah you do, in your closet. The irony." Ino cut in feigning indifference as she inspected her immaculate nails. The teased youth slammed her hand on the table with an audible crack. She didn't put enough in to break it so she couldn't have been that mad yet.

"Say something else Ino and I will make a dent in your head the size of my fist and you..." She directed her eyes and words to the man next to her. "Stop laughing."

"I'm not Sakura, wouldn't think of it." He smiled sweetly his eye curling up in amusement. That was Kakashi's talent, doing exactly what you accuse him of but in no way can prove his guilt. She glared at him ever so much more trying to bait out his guilt, to this he only smiled more. She threw her hands up in exasperation before standing.

"Just go save a drunk from drowning in his soup or whatever it is that makes you late to every place you ever go too. I'm going back to the hospital." She gave both parties present a distrustful glare in turn daring them to respond with a derogatory comment. The both quietly responded with their own looks. One questioning her with 'What crawled up, died in you and made up your personality?' the other 'I'm secretly thinking of something but will never say to you and my porn is more interesting anyway.' This was enough to enrage her even more. "You're a whore and you... well your a whore too!" Was her last irrational comment before she stormed off leaving the two behind to stare pitiably after her.

"She needs a man." Ino finally said breaking the silence and lifting the feeling of awkward embarrassment on Sakura's behalf. Kakashi silently agreed in his head but let the moment pass as his eyes had decided talk was boring and continued reading feet moving away of their own accord. To this he gave a last courteous hand waved backwards to the blond left behind. Yet things didn't go as he planned it and as he placed a hand in his pocket the woman flanked his shoulder her presence too close to be anything but invasive. Kakashi didn't let the minor inconvenience stop him though, he'd let her say what he knew she would then make a hasty retreat.

How people called him heartless and self-centered, if they only knew how tolerant he really was.

"Kakashi-san leaving so soon?" Her coy tone was rather obvious and he could easily decipher to what she was actually thinking. 'How could you not want to stay and cajole me?' His words where automatic to what she wanted to hear, he'd humor her since he was in a good mood.

"I've got important work to do today. Very vital." Which was true, it was very important to him even if everyone in the free world would disagree. She appeared thoughtful after this, an understanding expression being the programed typical response, but he didn't get a 'catch you later then' or more badgering like what every woman did in these situations. This one wasn't going by the book.

"Would it make a difference if I invited you over to my house to watch the Icha Icha movie?" They were like magic words opening up his mind to many possibilities and he stopped walking. The masked ninja lowered his book turning to look over his shoulder at the blond kunoichi smirking knowingly beside him. Looking a lot more attractive than before, he even noticed her toe nails were painted pink, wiggling around in her uniform ninja shoes.

"You know your stuff." It was quite clearly bait to lure him only it was good bait and he was falling into it. Go get his porn or go home with a extremely young and an attractive woman who wants to watch his favorite movie with him, among other things. Why was he hesitating?

"It's an offer, after your done your 'important business' come by my families' flower shop sometime. Bye-bye." She saucily winked at him walking away with a suggestive sway to her hips that his eye followed and he got the feeling he just been had. When she was gone from sight he went back to walking to Naruto's but left his book in his pocket.

His imagination was providing enough mental images to keep him distracted from needing his book for now. Before he knew it he was standing before Naruto's front yard. His feet slowed to a stop as he glanced casually to his surroundings. His form of casually was concealing his presences to non-existent and checking every square inch throughly with hawk like vision.

It was casual because he didn't use his sharingan eye.

The dog-summoner didn't feel any sort of life inside the house and thought maybe his strategy of 'breaking-and-entering no jutsu' was overall a good choice. It wasn't as if the blond didn't do it to him every other month. Kakashi tried to stay offended until he thought of the boy clutching his underwear cramped in his tiny hamper then he reminded himself it wasn't funny and not to laugh. He stayed put long enough until the giggles subsided. He then changed the word 'giggles' to 'cackling' because it was not 'giggling'. Giggles are what teen girls did when a boy they liked talked with them. It was out of the corner of his perceptive vision he spotted something moving around at the back of his blond students' house.

So much for just stealing his stuff back.

So if the boy was home he'd just go up to him and demand his novels be returned. Kakashi wasn't someone to be trifled with he'd make his demands known and carried out accordingly. Aside from that he did bring a ramen cup and had plenty of sturdy trap wire. The branch on the old tree a little ways to the jounin's right would do. He made a quick detour to it before venturing farther into the 'Evil One's' not so secret lair. Soon his books would be safe back in his tender care, hopefully unharmed because if there was one nick on their cover...

Settling down his furious rage Kakashi disguised his chakra and stealthily, with the grass' soft texture hiding his foot falls, walked towards the backyard. Maybe it was ingrained or maybe the Copy ninja did it consciously but to other people the fact he seemed to always sneak up on his comrades annoyed them endlessly. To be accurate it pissed them off he could do it to begin with. Ninjas got greatly offended and humbled by his show of effortless skill.

Nearing the edge to leading to the back of the house at first he saw nothing but rows of white recently washed linen came into view. At that point he could see that there was more than just sheets as there was globs of black and orange mixed in with them. Obviously the young man was doing his laundry but from the partial side view he couldn't see were the blond was as the sea of cloth hid his form. Quietly the silver haired man dared to venture farther and he did in fact find Naruto amongst the cotton cover.

Kakashi's face drained of all color before he let out a most high pitch feminine scream.

It had been years since he ever cried out like that, though never quite so emasculating. It didn't matter that instead of seeing his first mutilated bloody body one before him was alive and well. It didn't make a difference he was in the comfort of his village and wasn't in the throws of a horrible war since passed. He didn't take into consideration he was a grown man of thirty-one instead of thirteen. It just was.

Aquatic blue eyes turned to him and Kakashi doubled back falling on his ass at the sudden movement. He didn't try to scramble back but thats only because his joints locked up as he went dangerously tense. As it happened the person before him looked frighteningly in his direction and quickly came before him at which Kakashi could do no more then horrifically stare as he got an up close, very detailed image of what scared him so.

"Kakashi-sensei! What's wrong?! What happened?! Was there some hideous creature lurking around my house?! Oh god... was there a g-ghost?" At this the blond boy looked cautiously over his shoulder and began to get goosebumps Kakashi could see those goosebumps all too well as he broke out in a cold sweat himself.

"I knew I shouldn't have bought this house... The neighbors say an old woman use to live here. Sh-she lost all her family in the war and died a lonely death. They say she comes out looking for her children and attacks whoever she finds... Quickly Kakashi did she have a butcher knife and dusty old pink shawl!?" At his last sentence Naruto placed both of his hands on his teacher's shoulders and began to vigorously shake the man to this Kakashi's one eye began to swing back and forth looking to the object terrifyingly close to his face moving with the whisker-face boy's body. It was when a particularly hard thrust that it hit Kakashi's chin right below his lip that the man broke out of his stupor and slapped the man's arms away.

"Naruto! Get some fucking pants on!" Kakashi curled into himself, violated, face flushed red, he would have looked away if he wasn't so weary of letting the man get the jump on him. He didn't just think that. His hand came up and tried to wipe away the feeling of Naruto's cock... Oh god he could still feel it on his chin.

Naruto for the most part looked taken aback. Was there some sort of problem? He looked at himself and behind. His hair was still damp from his shower he had taken earlier after Iruka left and wiped himself down real good after using the toilet. Looking back at his strangely affected teacher he tried to comprehend maybe something else was wrong.

"What's the matter Kakashi-sensei? Am I on call? All my clothes are still wet but if we need to get out of here real quick... Sensei you don't look so good are you alright? I'm getting worried." To this Naruto's voice went soft confusion and concern in his eyes. He knelt before the jounin completely unabashed by his nakedness and the masked man wondered if this is why he never saw the blond's neighbors on the way in. It was touching the grass...

"Naruto, please put some shorts on, you can have my damn pants for all I care..." Kakashi actually pleaded to him and Naruto was more than a little astonished, suddenly a little embarrassed and he stood up turning his back to the jounin go to his laundry. To this the older man then closed his eyes. The boy was tan all over. Now he understood the looks last night, the insecurity in Sasuke's eyes. His punishment was worse the his crime.

Kakashi slowly stood up his body feeling a lot weaker and older than his age all of a sudden. He finally puled his hand away from his covered mouth but the tingling feeling didn't dissipate. Naruto came back and had thankfully put on a pair of black shorts his bulky arms crossed over to pitifully hide his broad chest. The shorts were wet and clung more than normal but for the most part hid what the sharigan user could still so clearly picture. He wouldn't be able to look at the boy the same for a few weeks, maybe longer.

There was an awkward silence between them before the blond broke it.

"You know I've gotten many reactions before but never that..." Naruto cut himself off and Kakashi wanted to dig a hole to hide in. "vehemently." It was worse than the jounin thought.

Naruto was using big words.

"Don't, just don't." Kakashi said still shaken but trying to get his bearings, and his balls, back in order. This was his worse idea yet. Suddenly the thought of ever seeing his porn again wasn't so important. He wanted to just leave.

Yet there was something else...

Looking to his student he purposefully kept his eyes above the boy's neck line but off his eyes.

"Why did you leave last night?" It spilled from his mouth automatically and Naruto looked momentarily confused for a moment before he thought about it.

"I didn't figure you the type Kakashi." He finally cryptically finished with, to this Kakashi was the one who was confused but still too prideful to ask the blond to elaborate. Kindly though Naruto did for him.

"To try to get someone out of their pants on a first date." One sinister smile answered to one evil glare.

oxoxoxoxo

Okay I am done, I had a lot more planned for this chapter but I'll do as I usually do and save it for later. It's hard trying to pick up Kakashi's character after his humiliating defeat. What do you say after you had a dude's cock on your face?

I'm having fun thoughin just a few more chapters maybe their will finally be some stirrings of romance. oo The man boy kind...


	5. Chapter 5

Warning: Kakashi is overly emo and extremely bi-polar but trust me... in time it'll all make sense. You'll just have to wait a few chapters for the explanation. Oo

oxoxoxoxo

It was silent in that backyard for a short eternity. You could hear the crinkling of Kakashi's gloves as his fists tightened, his posture rigid and unyielding. It was apparent he was completely furious over the last spoken words from his cocky ex-student. Rather though, what was most vexing, the said annoyance was practically glowing with triumph.

The air around Naruto; completely at ease and confident with himself, which even though Kakashi promised death and dismemberment from his every pore he didn't cease to exude the aura of success. At this the jounin began to tick off methods of not quite death in his mind... but just how far he could go without letting Naruto die as he punished him.

He didn't wish for him that sort of peace.

"Oh come on Kakashi! You deserve it. You think I liked showing everyone my private parts? It's me who should be killing you! So comb your hair back over the horns and tuck in the tail."

The jounin did lose some of his momentum but didn't stop his seething, this was serious and the blond was trying to play him for a fool!

"Naruto you're doing your laundry butt naked, am I suppose to buy that you have something like a sense of decency?" The tone was so icy it burned but it was not so harsh with the choice in words, but how much Naruto could feel his teacher meant them.

"What the hell has snared your balls in a vice? One minute you're giving me the cold shoulder, the next showing me you almost have a soul then you're back to being a witch with the letter b. Do you show Sakura and Sasuke this much pleasant attitude or is it just me?" The scarcely dressed man asserted his words with dignity and a certain amount of disdain but Naruto didn't have the control to keep his expressive eyes from showing Kakashi just how much his words effected him. The older man wouldn't have been surprised if tears started to spill over his cheeks any moment. Something inside the copy ninja shook and he couldn't mustard up as much anger as he had before. The idiot nin just took the wind from his sails...again.

Though not one to show regret or be apologetic the sharingan user shrugged his shoulders and continued on with an indifferent attitude.

"You stole my books Naruto how do you expect me to be courteous? If you'd act as mature as Sasuke or Sakura maybe I'd treat you with more respect." Rather then the whisker marked boy get furious at his teacher like the jounin figured he would it looked as though he was just slapped. Not that prissy kind of slap Jaraiya gets from agitated women. The kind of slap that hits your soul and leaves you vulnerable. It caused Kakashi to check himself.

A small voice continued just as the blond looked away from the silver hair ninja going back to his menial task.

"They're inside under my mattress if you want them so bad Hatake-san." He spoke with little emotion but what you could hear from the defeated, tired tone was pain and a small amount of anger. For Kakashi there was a furious rage inside at dealing with the blond's emotional instability. Words effected him harder than any woman or child the jounin ever met and the worse thing of it all..

It affected **him** in return.

He stood there watching the other pick up his wet clothes from the basket he hesitated to do something. Anything. Why couldn't he just make up his mind and leave? Yet he couldn't get that look out of his mind, those wounded eyes. There was something distasteful in the way Naruto said his name so formally like that, like a pin prick to his skull he felt no matter which way his head turned. Yet he didn't move or take any action and it was his present company that pointed it out to him.

"Well aren't you going to go get your prized books back?" He asked it like a question but it was so flat it sounded like something Sasuke would say about say about his family. Lifeless, hollow, **dead**. The jounin reacted immediately and left the backyard going towards the front of the house and out of the other boy's sight.

As for himself the usually joyful boy sucked in a huge breath refraining from letting any tears slip. It just hurt so damn much to hear Kakashi say that. It could be said a lot of people he knew didn't respect him like Kiba and Shino, but they at least had some, some enough to know despite the way he was he was still a good ninja. It could be said at least everyone treated him like he was a child a lot of time but this really hurt coming from his former teacher...

He really didn't have the faintest idea**why**.

Why did it hurt so much? Why did he care? Why did he expect Kakashi to just change overnight to be, well... a decent friend? Or at the very least a sub-par human being. His teacher was and always would be secretive, perverted, stand offish... just about anything but warm and kind. Yet then there were times, the few rare moments that Naruto saw glimpses of what was or could have been a, dare he say, **sweet** Kakashi. Someone who actually gave a fuck, who would be there, someone he could depend on if the situation was desperate. The web the sharigan user wove in making himself into the most independent and self-sufficient human out there sure did a lot in keeping people away. People needed someone to need them and in turn they needed their help in return. The old jounin sure did show time and again he didn't want anyone's help and wanted no one to rely on him. It was obvious Sasuke shared that in common with the decrepit old fossil. If not for his brotherly bond with Naruto he probably would have stayed on his self righteous path of self-destruction.

That bond provided in a serious ass kicking which nearly got them both killed.

Is that what he needed to do? Kick Kakashi's ass? Was that possible? Sure the man was getting on in years living past the expected age of twenty, that also made it a disadvantage for Naruto because old dogs have a lot of tricks and this one kept on learning more. The blond couldn't even use his porn tactic again. His strength certainly put Naruto at the forefront but it hadn't stopped underdogs from winning before, and he wouldn't put it past Kakashi to run if need be. The man was a prideful asshole, not stupid.

Violence was not an option. Yet all his pranks hadn't done anything more than piss the jounin off. Should he really do nothing else then respect Kakashi's privacy? Before he wouldn't have even thought about it but things between them seemed to be getting worse not better. Maybe he should give up...

"What the fuck!"

"Hee hee hee, ha ha ha ha!"

In a surprise attack someone squirted what appeared to be ketchup all over his clean **white** sheets. Followed by some evil demented cackling. Poking his head out from behind the sheet barrier proved to be a flawed idea as he was immediately dosed in a face full of the tomato paste. It was in his eyes for crying out loud.

"Fuck Kakashi I can't see! That shit hurts!"

Rich laughter filled his ears but he couldn't see just what the other was doing, or planning to do next.

"Maaah, surely complaining isn't the best thing you can do, I remember someone once put old rotten eggs under my floor board so that I couldn't find the awful smell for days. You know how putrid the scent was in summer heat?"

Wiping his eyes and face off the ruined sheet he almost could see stuff again abet it was a bit blurry. "Dammit Kakashi how long ago was that? Three years?"

"Try two months. You left before I could get you back."

The blond was quiet a moment and more than slightly unsettled at the change of events. When he could make out more than just blurbs of color and the lines of the jounins face holding **his** ketchup bottle with a cocked hip, and absolutely no porn, the older man didn't look the least bit angry like before. He looked like he was laughing on the inside and out. He looked happy.

Did Kakashi have a bipolar disorder or something?

"So you decided to get me back for that now? Satisfied?" Naruto was slightly guarded and rather pissed, why would the jounin come back out and act like nothing happened? Why did his attitude change by the minute? What could Naruto possibly do to figure it out?

"Hardly, there is still the ice showers from you cutting off my hot water line, switching all my underwear with a smaller size, stealing my clothes when I went swimming in a lake, paying a woman to pretend I was with her child while I was out on a date..."

"Dammit Kakashi I wouldn't need to do those things if you just talk to me once and a while!" Naruto cut the other off in a rage and the jounin cease listing pranks off on his fingers looking unexpectedly shocked at the confession.

"You're always busy, but you're never doing anything and don't think I don't notice how you duck your head farther in your book when you see me near! It's like pulling teeth out of a hungry man-eating tiger to try finding you when you're not out on a mission and when I do you brush me off with, 'We'll do that later.' When is later Kakashi? Next to never? Sometimes I really believe..." What started off of a passionate rant ended with the blond mumbling off looking away as to avoid seeing something ugly and unpleasant. The man in question himself was stunned glad that he was hidden under all the layers of cloths or else the pink his skin turned would surely make he bury himself in the dirt in embarrassment.

It had been years since anyone challenged his taciturn attitude like this._ Years. _Not since he was a **boy**It was so terribly ironic that as he tried avoiding a conversation like this the last two decades it came full circle again. It really was useless trying to avoid fate and the end to Naruto's sentence was obvious. It was something just like **he** said all those years ago.

_'You hate me.'_

There really was no use in avoiding the inevitable as everything ended up turning out just the way you didn't want it too. Now he was standing before one of the few people he cared for in the world with that person in near broken tears. All just because of he refuse to buy him ramen once in a blue while.

_'But I had good reason not too!'_Though he couldn't very well say what that reason was, certainly not to this person. Now he had to somehow smooth this over and in the future spend some time with the blond, lest **this **happens again. Shouldn't be too hard to do right? And it wouldn't be often, once every couple of weeks... perhaps every other month...

Why was Naruto making this hard for him?

"Naruto I thought you knew better than that. Stop sulking." He died a little on the inside but a ninja did what was needed. Walking towards the other male who was watching him with weary eyes Kakashi did something that he promised himself he'd read tons of porn afterward to make it up to himself.

He gave the younger man a hug.

It was awkward and weird. Naruto was still as a board and Kakashi hadn't hugged anyone since his teacher. (He didn't count having sex with lovers as hugs, they lacked affection.) Sure all he was doing was staring at the neighbors fence while he kept one hand between the boy's shoulder blades and the other on the middle of his back but it felt mechanical. He also couldn't see the other's face, avoiding it for that purpose, so he had no idea what the blond was thinking. As always Naruto answered his unasked question obediently.

"I hope you kiss better than this or I can see why you never have a date." The older man wanted to bash his face in the idiots shoulder then pull his yellow spiky hair. Of course he sucked at hugging, he didn't like showing affection! Then Naruto shifted wrapping his arms tentatively over the jounin's body and Kakashi never so **painfully** been aware of their difference in body mass before, even when he thought he did.

His clothed face was being smothered in the younger ninja's shoulder so that only his eyes were visible. What once started out as a embrace to console the teen looked to be the other way around from the outside. The image as it would appear to anybody walking by was as though the silver hair man was being comforted. With both of the boy's arms wrapped around his shoulders so that he could feel a warm hand on his neck and his side under his arm, Kakashi basically couldn't be seen from the waist up and even then if you were standing behind Naruto you could only see a tuft of grey bushy hair and some hands. It was certainly more difficult to breath with his mask and a face full of hard muscle to block his airways. He actually had to tilt his head up so his lungs didn't have to struggle and Naruto use that opportunity to nuzzle his face his silver hair. Now Kakashi was really feeling **awkward.**

"You're like a..."

"Just shut up and take my snuggling abuse. Stay still for another minute then I'll let you go." Naruto cut Kakashi's barb off as the jounin readied a comment to break the tension forming in his stomach. Yet aside from the clench in his gut hoping the steely grip the blond had on him would release soon, the jounin decided that he wouldn't do this again for another twenty years. No amount of smutty stories would make his body forgive him.

At least Naruto wasn't going to cry and really give Kakashi a bad day.

Good to his word though the teen released him not long after he said he would going as far to smile meekly. For Kakashi it was worth the awkwardness to see that sorrowful look in his blue eyes had dissipated. Now that his work was done he was ready to go home and curl up in his bed with every issue of Icha Icha ever printed...

"You feel that much less of a man for giving a friend in need a hug? Didn't you use to preach about someone leaving their friends hanging was worth less than trash?"

"I was talking about for dead."

Naruto shrugged his bare shoulders as two mismatched eyes fixed on the movement.

"Some fates are worse than death." The far-away tone in Naruto's voice led to the jounin wonder what situation he was thinking about, there were too many to guess and he wasn't about to ask. Instead he stared at the open ketchup bottle he dropped on the ground.

"Like getting molested by your former teacher for one. I should tell Iruka on you." One brown eye darted to the blond's face that cheerily mocked him. There was no trace of that defeated and weary emotion felt in his expressive sapphire eyes. So the veteran ninja would forgive him... for now.

"I'd say it was the other way around, I never felt so violated and I have been tied naked to chair in a torture chamber before. You might want to put a shirt on before you go accusing me of rape as well." Naruto looked at his bare arms just as Kakashi put his hands in his pockets looking to make a quick getaway yet not two steps later he had the blond on his heels, now with a orange T-shirt on.

"Let's go eat some ramen."

"Don't you have laundry to finish?" Inner Kakashi responded with; 'Go away I had enough of you today!' He refrained from a harsher comment for obvious reasons. Thankfully the younger man brushed the question off without a thought, unfortunately he also brushed it off altogether.

"Nah it's just drying and I can iron it later. Come on I wasn't finished from last night." He nudged the jounin's arm and the older man wanted to make a ran for it. Yet if he left now he'd basically redo the damage he just sacrificed his pride to undo! How would he get out of this? Hadn't he done enough today already? Though the hopeful look in Naruto's eyes almost begged him to yes.

_Tomorrow, he would stay inside all day and play deaf, dumb and dead._

"I'm not your adoptive mother I can't eat ramen everyday, we are going to a regular restaurant and you are paying for your half of the food." He had to put his foot down somewhere. Yet as Naruto pouted the obvious relief in his eyes at the older man's response said it all.

"I don't get to eat ramen everyday and Tsunadae doesn't even go there unless she's buttering me up for something..."

"I was talking about your other mother, Iruka."

"If he heard you say that he wouldn't take to kindly to it."

"I'm hardly afraid to see what the chuunin could do to me."

"Ahh Kakashi you know that egg thing?"

His visible eye glanced over at the lean form near his shoulder, he also notice the blond was barefoot on the pathway. They'd have to buy him some shoes before going to eat...

"Iruka did that to one of his teachers when he was a kid, along with a whole bunch of other nasty stuff I wouldn't dare try. Do you know how to rig a toilet to give you an instant enema?" The jounin's footsteps slowed at the boy's words. He knew Iruka was a trouble maker like Naruto as a boy but at the time Kakashi was a jounin when the brunette was still in the academy and he was more worried about surviving his next mission then village gossip. The thought of the 'butt cleansing' was dismissed from his mind and it was his turn to shrug his shoulders.

"That was when he was a kid, I'm sure he has matured since then."

"He put peroxide in Sasuke's shampoo bottle turning his hair blond when he called Iruka a 'useless ninja'."

Kakashi stopped walking altogether and turned to Naruto; the look of complete bafflement in his eyes. Not so much that the docile teacher pulled a prank on someone at his age but that he did it to Uchiha Sasuke and **lived** afterward.

"I know I was wondering how he got away with that too..." Sometimes it really was like Naruto was reading his thoughts. "but Sasuke for as much as a bastard that he is has a soft spot inside his black heart, somewhere. When they both showed up the next day sporting bruises and broken limbs, it was easy to see the jerk went easy on him." Now the silver hair ninja wondered how he missed that one. It couldn't have happened too long ago and usually word of that spread fast. Was he away on a mission or he was just that out of the loop?

"Yeah he is an asshole but that's because he doesn't know how to let loose and unclench his butt-hole unless you beat it into him. Actually I'd say you and him are very different for that sensei." Kakashi continued walking unusually enthralled with the conversation, why was it so easy for Naruto to peek his interest when he didn't even want to eat lunch with the guy? He was some kind of brain ninja and even better at coaxing you into opening up and having a good time than at taijutsu, and that was saying something. Even Neji who ignores everyone will have a conversation about ramen with Naruto and seem to enjoy it. Though Kakashi had his suspicions of Neji's motives...

"People always compare you like you're two feet of the same person but you're not nearly as cold-hearted and you can admit to some stuff. Sasuke would have sooner kicked dirt in my direction but you... you stayed and cheered me up." The blond pause obviously changed his words for Kakashi's benefit. As it was the older nin made Naruto feel like shit and he corrected himself; going as far as to let the blond in his personal space for a hug and Naruto knew it. Sure he was pretty much incapable of apologizing but with most of the people the young leaf ninja associated with already the jounin was infinitely more reasonable then them. Trying to get Kiba to admit he was wrong even with something simple as a song title was like trying to get the world to rotate in a different direction.

As for Kakashi he wanted to run away again. He kept feeling a twitch in his abdomen that was frustrating him beyond belief. Yet he made his bed, either lunch with Naruto or immense guilt over leaving him in tears. Though the teen was a big boy now, surely he could stick it out? Titling his eyes a hair he studied the goofy face beside him before stuffing his hands in his pockets and averting his eyes to the road before him. He could do this, he would do this because afterwards he was hiding again for no less than two weeks with just himself and his novels. Naruto's feelings be damned, he needed alone time.

"I know it hurt's your feelings oh so much to hang out so I won't keep you for too long but I am curious to know, what exactly do you do all the time?"

The copy ninja made no outward appearance that he even heard Naruto and only after a long pause he answered.

"What's it to you?"

The curt response was odd as usually the older man would indirectly brush him off but the jounin certainly wasn't acting himself today and in all honesty the blond preferred the brash straight answer.

"You're always alone, I rarely see you around town besides buying groceries, I can say I saw you leaving a bar once or twice but overall your style of life, it's just so... alone." The teen's eyebrows furrowed as though he was concentrating on something that eluded him. As they entered the market area of town they once again shared a long silence. The hound summoner knew this lunch seemed too easy to be true and that the boy would do exactly as he didn't want him to.

Try to pry into his life.

"I'm not judging you or anything, obviously you're old enough to do what you want and live how you want. I'm just curious to know more about you." Naruto readily corrected himself as though he could feel the tension rise from within Kakashi during the long pause. Though things still weren't right and the bushy hair ninja wasn't so eager to share his secrets. Yet he had to shut the boy up somehow.

"Don't you have a pretty looking girl you could throw them lines down on?"

The whisker face boy's cheeks flushed and his eyes wandered off towards the passing scenery.

"Come on like I say something like that to try to pick up a chick. Come on I've know you since I was a kid and I don't even know what your favorite color is. You're so secretive and it's annoying." The boy then pouted given the jounin a inquisitive eye and jutted lip. Though Kakashi hated the inquiry the expression on Naruto's face made him smile and he had to reframe from laughing. It was like the boy lived frozen in time at the age of twelve never growing up. Always curious, constantly acting before thinking, he wouldn't be surprised if he still slept in that ridiculous hat.

"So you just want to know more about my favorite things?"

"Well it's easy to tell what your favorite book and movie is... More like what kinds of stuff did you do as a kid? Do you have any hobbies aside from reading porn? Is there some hidden pleasure you never tell anyone you do? You know it's like ever since the first time you introduced yourself to us and all you said was your name. I know almost as much then as I do now. " The jounin frowned again as he considered that blowing off the kid now would only cause him problems in the long run. He'd have to say something and make it count.

"Well when I was five I graduated from the academy, when I was six I passed the chuunin exams and later that same year I had my first kill." The veteran ninja purposefully kept his voice neutral and flippant intending to add to the shock of his statement to his former student. If this didn't shut the boy up he'd tell Naruto about the first time he lost his virginity. Now that was a story to never be repeated aloud.

"Being a ninja isn't just a job Naruto it's my life. For even though everyone in the village believes this for themselves; only a handful live by this. Understand?" As he finished speaking he stopped walking as the blond followed suit a few steps ahead of him. It seemed as though the teen was quietly taking in his words as Kakashi was trying assert the fact though his life wasn't a open book, it was truly better off that way. He had very few things in this life to himself, and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want to share those things when people would never understand. It's not that he hated them for their normal lives since he never had one, he just knew they wouldn't understand. His privacy was for him and he **needed** it.

Then in a slow turn Naruto's deep blue eyes looked at him with the most jubilant expression the jounin almost wanted to ask what he said to make the boy look so happy. Certainly he would look at Kakashi was shame or pity for what he just revealed to him now. Why did the boy look so damn happy?

"You know Kakashi-sensei I do. I knew what kind of man you were from when I was a child thinking how cool you were for protecting us from Zabuza. Though I also learned something else from all these years of being around you."

There was a deliberate pause and Kakashi was almost impatient waiting to near what he'd say next. Why was he smiling like that? Why did he look like he knew a pleasant secret? Why was his smile always so captivating?

"You will always manipulate the conversation to your advantage."

"What?"

"You are more than a tool for your village, you are a human. The proof is in the porn." After the teen left Kakashi besotted he twisted back around walking ahead with a little strut leaving the copy ninja staring off at his retreating form with a newly forming respect for him. Oh sure he greatly respected Naruto, more than he'd ever admit to the kid, and even though he basically brushed off his up bringing with a 'whatever' the fact was he saw through the jounin's words finding the underlining motive. In a sense he was proud of his student. And yet...

This would make conversation a whole lot more difficult to avoid in the future.

"HM you think so?" Kakashi caught up to the bare footed teen who ignored the onlookers who seemed more appreciative of his looks than disgusted. He briefly wondered if the boy noticed the same.

"Well then I'll let you in a little secret you don't know..." Naruto paused in his footsteps again, his ears almost visibly perking up at the admission. The silver hair male stood beside him face to face, eye to eye as he lowered his voice so that no one else would hear, this seem to excite the boy more his eyes almost twinkling with excitement though he tried to hide it with a serious expression.

"My favorite color is blue." Naruto's eyes widen at his words and he quickly began walking away again leaving the surprised teen staring at the wall instead of the person once standing in that spot. It wasn't long before he could feel a familiar presences at his heels and a voice that was disappointed as it was amused.

"Kakashi-sensei is a practical joker and very annoying."

"So are you."

"Yeah but then I'm not on the receiving end."

Kakashi chuckled as Naruto grumbled and it was a picture perfect ending like from a movie seeing the two walking side by side down a street where it couldn't be more crowded though it was as though they were the only ones there.

It was just a shame less than three hours later Kakashi was swearing off people and planning to get Naruto back for the terrible evening.

The boy never did learn when to shut up while he was still ahead.

oxoxoxoxoxo

Okay okay this chapter was erratic, but I wrote it in less than a week which is awesome for me. Basically I had to start their tentative friendship somewhere so Kakashi will be somewhat less of a prick for at least a little while.

And the hug was purely for fangirl purposes since there is still no romance for a while. Hope you've enjoyed yourselves and reviews are much appreciated with yaoi cookies on top!

I've started chapter six, let's start the ticker to see when the cat gets let out of the bag.


	6. Chapter 6

Ergh ignore me for being a dummy, I put Hatake Kakashi instead of Hatake Itachi in my review post... but i meant what i said, your words are making my fingers fly!

oxoxoxoxoxo

"What's happening Kakashi? What brings you here?" The silver hair man looked up from his book to peer over the rim at Shizune, the Hokage's right hand "woman". Personally he had suspicions of her real label but was never motivated enough to speak his mind, or brave enough. Tsunadae nearly killed Jaraiya before and that is saying something. He made a indistinguishable noise and lowered his head again. Unsatisfied, a hand landed on the page he was reading as he was forced to look up and acknowledge the stern face before him. He was trying to _evade_ bothersome people, this was all Naruto's fault.

"What is wrong? Why are you hanging outside the Hokage's window?" She spoke the question like she was asking for a status report, assuming the worse like all women did.

"I'm relaxing and enjoying the view. Now if you'll just pretend I'm not here..." He picked her hand up like it was a used tissue with just his thumb and index finger then dropped it just as soon as it was out of visual radius. He went back to his novel and blocked her presence out completely.

Kakashi was always a smart man who learned quickly, as many of his teachers professed long ago, yet on constant bases he would often say the exact thing to piss off a woman, a few men for that matter, and throw himself in a world full of shit. The jounin was somewhat of a retard where the female populace was concerned. In seconds he had to jump up and back flip to dodge the hand trying to snatch his book away then the heel to his chest there after. So much for sanctuary...

"The Hokage's tower is prohibited from those who have no business here, get out of here now before I remove you myself." The ninja made an observation that the short hair brunette's nose flared when she was angry, reminding him of her pig companion Ton-Ton. They say animals resemble their caretakers and he was in agreement this case.

He sighed deeply as he scratched the back of his neck and rolled his eyes upwards. It took him a long time to find a place for him to rest without disturbance, he really didn't want to leave. _'Maybe if I said something flattering about how she looks she'll let me slide...'_

"Shizune? What are you doing out here? Kakashi? Is there something wrong?" A blond head poked out the window towards the ledge where the two currently occupied. The brunette was quick to reply.

"He was just leaving." She crossed her arms over her bust and the jounin was hopeful that if the young one couldn't be swayed maybe the other would listen to reason. Before he got to open his mouth the other responded first.

"Well if its not of importance you should go find Naruto, he was looking for you earlier. He even wanted to search my private bathroom, I had to put him in line." Kakashi groaned just as he winced thinking about the beating the boy must of gotten. He went even as far as to search here? Was no place sacred? Was he doomed to follow out with his promise? The dual looks he received for his reaction were questioning. It was no use, he had **run**.

"In that case I suppose I ought to be running along to find him then." He spoke with a smile and closed his eye just as he tucked his book into his pouch but Kakashi had no intention of actively seeking out the boy. Oh no he'd escape to Suna if he had too. _'No Naruto was close with Gaara and the red head might rat him out... Perhaps to Mist?_ _They were a unfriendly bunch, particularly to Konoha ninja's but anything was better than staying here. I can't take it anymore.'_

As he skillfully slipped by Shizune he thought to use the drain pipe as Naruto was still in the building when his vest collar was grabbed and two honey-brown eyes were studying him intently.

"He is outside my office resting in hallway won't you go wake him?" Kakashi's eyes widen as he realized she was siding with he enemy. _'What did she know? What did the brat tell her? Dammit I shouldn't have made that promise!' _Kakashi was really tired and desperate for rest **that** day after the long mission and the boy just wouldn't lay off his back. He would have put on a dress and asked to be spanked if it meant he could sleep. Damn that blond brat for exploiting him at his weakest.

"Oh right then if you'll just..." In a instant he was unzipping his vest and taking off at full speed toward the drain pipe sliding down quickly ignoring that the metal was burning his skin skimming off the first layer. There was shouting as Tsunadae ordered his capture and he knew not long from now the ANBU would be following. It was completely unfair and unreasonable that the Hokage would abuse man power just to get her favorite child what he wanted.

As soon as his feet touch the ground he was surrounded, four masked ninjas were around him and prepared to maim him if needed. One would live with a hole in their leg... The older nin threw a smoke bomb and several shuriken as per a distraction to use a teleportation jutsu taking him out of the pinch hold and onto a nearby roof top as to avoid pedestrians on the street. Though it was hardly a half second later when four soldiers were hot on his tail and he knew he'd have to use his most cunning tricks to escape this one. Biting his finger he used a jutsu in mid run and was able to call forth his summon without slowing down in the slightest. Next to him his troop of dogs were fast to keep up, even his massive bulldog that looked too big to be able to get such a speed.

"On my signal split up and don't stop." The experienced team of canines didn't question, even Pakkun their most opinionated member, why they were running from their own. They continued on as the man followed up with more hand seals and they were all engulf in smoke.

Where once before there was one man and eight dogs there was nine Kakashi's all in perfect formation. At the mere utter of the word Go, spoken low so the men hot on their tails couldn't hear him, all of them ran off breaking apart so that in order to be followed the four man team would have to break up and use clones at that, lessening their chances at catching the rouge jounin.

He would not be caught, could not be caught, lest he be forced to do something that was just, well, just_vulgar_ in his opinion.

Kakashi was certain the ninja in pursuit of him was a shadow clone, as it had no distinctive scent. He paused long enough to slam his fist into the apparition's face then it dissolved in a puff of smoke. It would alert its owner to his were abouts but he wouldn't be here long enough to be found. Stead fast on is feet he leaped into the trees and ran. He ran like there was someone after his life, like his enemy was far stronger than he could hope to defeat, like he had no way to survive if he didn't get the_fuck_ out of this forest. He was exaggerating but not that far away from the truth. His nemesis was not like one you fended your life from, here he wasn't allowed to use fists and swords. Running from him only put of the inevitable but he couldn't stand continuous cycle of being forced into situations he had little control over. Just like now, out numbered against his own comrades. How did he get into these messes?

Naruto...

He stopped immediately sliding slightly kicking up dirt as before him was the blond punk in all his shimmering glory. The jounin thought it to be shiny as the sunlight was hitting his hair in such a way it made it gleam gold and was giving him such a bright aura. If it were any other situation it would be heart lifting he imagined to see such a brilliant visage. His heart sunk along with his stomach. What were his dogs doing here?

"Naruto why are my dogs with you?" His curiosity caused him to break his oath of never asking questions but the dread that overwhelmed him made him not want to believe what he feared to be right.

"I, uuuh had to find you somehow. The old hag went a little overboard sending her guard after you. I mean, they are suppose to be watching out for the village not chasing runaways." As the silver hair ninja stared at his brigade of loyal dogs that didn't meet his eye it was clear they led the boy to him. '_Traitors.'_

"Why?" It was a stern command and the following shifts of paws gave him a sense of power knowing they were at unease. As they should be... he was their father for crying out loud!

"Well you see Kakashi..." Pakkun, his smallest yet bravest dog started. "He used means even you wouldn't resist."

"Oh?" It was mock curiosity and completely disbelieving. "And what would that be?"

"..." There was more movement and shameful bows of heads.

"Come on Kakashi-sensei don't be so mad at them. Besides you were trying to break your word to me earlier, thats not very honorable."

"Silence Naruto!" Blue eyes widened at the shout he heard as Kakashi raised his voice in rage. A hard eye moved from his face back to his pack. Though Naruto wasn't to stand for that kind of treatment even if he was getting use to his teacher's mood swings. They'd been on and off for a few weeks now, since the time in his backyard. It seemed when he went to visit Kakashi the man would be fine for a while then brush him off in a second for no reason the blond understood. He supposed that was just how the older man was and endured it for the most part. This time however he'd put the veteran nin in his place.

"Hatake! For god sakes you can't refuse porn anymore than they can turn down a piece of tail." You would never suspect a dog could blush but you'd never think they could talk either but they could actually do both. Eight pairs of eyes found the trees and dirt very interesting while the jounin looked as though there was something shocking on the young man's face by the way his eye lit up.

"You... you bribed them with**bitches**?"

"Sort of... It seems I made a new Sexy no Jutsu technique for dogs. Hee hee." The small laugh greatly reduced the older man's spirit so he believed nothing was of point anymore. There was no use in fighting. _'Fuck, why did that work on every fucking male alive?!'_

"Honestly sensei its just ice cream, what's wrong with you?"

The jounin's heart deflated and he looked as though he was told Jaraiya quit writing to be a monk. He recovered quick enough with an angry pout, as the younger man saw it. Like a child who was being made to do something he didn't want to.

"Naruto, children eat ice cream or when teenagers go on dates, not deadly killing machines over the age of fifteen."

"You just don't know what you're missing! It's so sweet and tasty! You're lying about just for kids, Chouji's dad has a cone every time I see him."

"I wonder why..." Kakashi remarked dryly. Not that Naruto would realize.

"Come on you said you would go with me when the new shop opened." He tried coaxing Kakashi with a pleading, shiny eye look. The man was unfazed.

"I was half dead from exhaustion and I would have agreed to a plot to overthrow the Hokage if it meant I'd get some sleep."

"Then maybe you should work on your stamina." He received a deadly glare in response to his quip. "Really sensei, it's just ice cream we'll be finished in no time." There was a large beaming smile directed at the silver hair man. Kakashi looked to his dogs who seemed to cautiously urge him with big doe eyes before diverting his gaze back at the grinning fool in front of him.

"No." Kakashi crossed his arms sternly and Naruto's face fell.

"Then we'll do this the hard way..."

oxoxoxoxo

Screaming kids were all around him as the baby in a stool behind him sloppily ate her ice cream to the point it was flying into Kakashi's hair. The blue eye _demon-boy_ was eating a huge bowl of ice cream called the super-deluxe-mega-happy-extreme dip. He supposed the name was suppose to drawl some sort of appeal for the younger crowd but only a glutton or a Akimichi could finish it. It was nearly the size of the table and completely dwarfed the untouched banana split Naruto ordered for Kakashi. The ninja himself glared something fierce at the teen across from him, the boy's lips smothered in the creamy substance he scarfed on.

"I can't believe you did that." Wide sapphire innocent eyes met that of the hostile man and paused in his feast.

"I can't believe you heard that, everyone passes gas Kakashi-sensei, I'm sure even you..."

"Naruto!" A palm slammed fast on the table cutting off the other man and slightly frightening a few nearby kids. "How could you defile that magnificent work of art..."

"Jaraiya's books are like fifteen dollars a copy and I got that free, its hardly a masterpiece..."

"Too you! I don't go around pissing in your ramen do I?" A lady passing by with her child sent the ninja a glare as she quickly tried to cover up the little girl's ears next to her.

"But you don't pee on ramen, its food and would be sacrilege to waste it!" After his outburst he paused to scratch behind his ear, lowering his head an inch. "I guess I sort of see your point... It's not that I like using these pushy methods Kakashi-sensei but you still haven't been very keen to the idea of going out."

For a brief moment Kakashi's one visible eye widened before some realization hit him and he went back to a more normal non-expressive mask. "Naruto, we **went out** twice two weeks ago, three times the week before, last week there was two days I didn't work and saw you on both, this is the third time this week so far I've seen you and its only Wednesday. Did it ever occur to you I might like some alone time?"

For a moment the blond looked chastened and gripped his spoon tightly, though the jounin wasn't sure why the Naruto was using it, more of his ice cream was on his hands then on the spoon. The older man deeply sighed and decided to reason with him gently. He wasn't sure why with the the way the blue eye kid had been acting so clingy and annoying. The blond imp tore pages out of Icha Icha earlier to break him down into coming to the shop, but never the less Kakashi knew wouldn't get very far by screaming holy hell at the boy, that would just be like throwing C-4 into a fire burning down a chemical lab.

"Look I did say I would let you visit some time and what not, but this too much, don't you have friends around your own age Naruto? What about Sakura and Sasuke? You like that Lee kid right? Maybe you should think about finding a girlfriend, your well old enough now." For an instant the copy ninja felt uneasy about what he just said but didn't dwell on it long. Naruto looked down trodden and poke at his ice cream.

"I don't know I guess I was so a little excited that... that you were finally paying attention to me I wasn't thinking about anything else."

In all his thirty-one years of living he couldn't remember a more awkward moment than what he was experiencing right now. Sweat was dripping down from his neck being absorbed by his mask while Naruto only appeared slightly flushed but otherwise unaffected. What the hell was up with this boy?!

"It was like getting something you really wanted for a long time and not being sure on what to do with it, just to hold on tight and not loose it." Naruto couldn't see the tremble of Kakashi lips but that didn't mean it wasn't there.

"I guess I got carried away, I didn't mean to smother you I just, like you a whole lot Kakashi..."

"Naruto!" Stricken, blue eyes widen as his head slammed back in the seat looking frightened at the older man's harsh reprimming tone. Kakashi looked deadly serious and angry as the young ninja had only seen in him while covered in blood surrounded by bodies. A lone finger was raised and pointed at his person.

"You have a stain on your shirt..."

Naruto confused looked down at his black T-shirt to see some vanilla ice cream dripped down all over the cloth. He lifted his gaze again to see his former teacher staring out a window while toying with his spoon, spinning it between his fingers deftly, like he had no care about the world around him.

"Kakashi-sensei?" His meek prodding was met with silence and after a few moments he gave up to wipe some of the soaked in stain with his napkin. It's not like you could see the rest all that well against the black anyway, but the tissue left little white residue from the cheap paper. He didn't care about it himself, yet, he couldn't help but wonder what the other man really wanted to say a moment ago. The jounin had a penchant for misleading people away from his real thoughts so you'd never figure him out. Did what he say bother the man somehow? Picking up his spoon he began to dig into the quickly melting treat, though less hurriedly, contemplating the way he should be interpreting the reaction and coming up empty handed.

For Kakashi it was so strange that hardly three years ago this was the same boy getting weirded out that his teacher admitted liking him as a person, but Naruto's words mere seconds ago sounded like he was making...

The jounin turned his one eye to sneak a peek at the blue eye boy. Naruto was feasting once again on his sugar mountain, albeit slower, quiet and concentrating. Kakashi assumed the devil-brat was trying to understand him. It unsettled him as he wanted the little fool to continue with his routine. To be selfish in just stealing time from him then be on his merry little way. Now the quiet atmosphere seemed heavy and thick with tension. They were getting nowhere with this. Naruto should have left him alone and just refused too. Now the dog trainer was forced to deal with uncomfortable situations like this on a near daily bases and even though he should be angry it wasn't even close. Sure he got mad, especially at seeing Naruto tear out page after page of Make-out Paradise, but didn't reach. It wouldn't hold for very long and even if he tried, he couldn't. He refused to see it as a soft spot, a weak spot, but it really was. An evil disease nestled in his brain that could never be cured, only to be the death of him.

What a depressing thought.

"Kakashi? What are you doing in here of all places?"

Two heads turned in unison to meet eyes with the man familiar to the jounin, both of them with mixed emotions. Naruto was curious while a chorus of 'Oh fuck' was singing around Kakashi's head on a broken microphone permanently set on high. Of all the places and all the people to come into this shop why was it him?

Genma stood, six foot even, senbon placed between his lips and a pretty date on his arm, a fine looking girl staring at the two of them with hardly concealed excitement. What was Kakashi's life... God's sitcom?

"Hey you're that kid..." The tall brunette pointedly stared at Naruto, he had met the kid very few times. Even including the chuunin exams he could count on his one hand the interactions they had with each other. Glancing between Kakashi's poorly hidden 'I've been found out!' face and Naruto's big doe eyes of wonderment Genma came up with his own conclusion.

"Kakashi... are you... on a date?"

Kakashi slapped his head as Naruto looked surprised and puzzled gazing between the both of them.

The silver hair man was stressed, on top of everything Genma had to come in and make his day worse. The bastard even sounded surprisingly innocent even though the man knew very well Naruto was his student, at one time anyway. His date beside him couldn't look more convinced and excited. She was even straining visibly not to scream out.

"Genma..." Kakashi muttered lowly, voice laced with a dark warning that went unheeded.

"I like them young too, girls that is, but isn't this like cradle robbing?"

"Oh my! How long have you've been dating? Are... are you the seme? Or maybe..." The woman cut in too enthusiastic to contain herself and asked Kakashi the personal question as subtly as possible but her eyes drifted to Naruto as though she was hoping the younger man was the 'dominate' one in the relationship. Undoubtedly picking on their height and body difference. Was it really that noticeable even when they were sitting down? The jounin clenched his fist bending the cheap metal spoon. The annoying bastard Genma laughed at the exchanged while the blond across from him merely looked pensive. What was wrong with Naruto? Why wasn't he defending himself or at least telling Genma too back off? Didn't he have any sort of pride as a man?

Naruto stood up surprising the three of them with his intensely serious expression, all of it concentrating on the dark hair jounin. He stepped away from the booth to get to his full height uninhibited and a clear path should he need to get to the other man. The said man looked relaxed if not amused at the blond's actions.

"You're Genma then? I've heard some about you. Enough to know you're not welcome around here."

The brunette in question scoffed while the woman looked between the them with a slight fear and worry in her eyes.

"Touchy aren't we-"

"I don't know how you can think it's excusable to even show your face around Kakashi..." Naruto continued effectively cutting off the other with a tone that was cold enough to withstand fire. It worked well enough to keep the three other people present quiet as well as the attention of a few other prying ears that didn't want to miss such drama. "Especially what with you done to him and I won't ask. You **will **walk out that door and not look back. Look at you." Naruto said that with such disdain it had Kakashi feeling shameful. "Was it not enough to run around with all those people, those **whores** while you were with Kakashi but once he kicks you to the curb you come back showing up with a trophy girl on your arm as to flaunt yourself like he meant nothing?"

At this time Genma had spit his needle out and the woman beside him had dropped his arm to instead hold her hands to her mouth looking horrified at the two of them. The silver hair man sat back deadly quiet with no expression on his face. Still though, Naruto wasn't finished yet.

"Give it up **old** man, he doesn't need you, or want** you** anymore. He knows what a real man is like and I'm more of one than you could ever hope to be." The silence that followed was, well it was quiet. The sort of quiet you'd have at a funeral. Even most of the people in the shop had stopped talking as Genma sputtered and the woman beside him glared at him.

"Is that all this is? You... jerk!" The girl shoved him rushing out the store, meanwhile the younger jounin just glowered as Naruto's hard glare bled to a mischievous smirk. The blond didn't even get out of the way when Genma push past him with a bruising force to run after his date. Later the brunette would laugh about the experience, especially the comedic value of Kakashi being the obvious uke in a three-way gay love triangle but for the moment he was pissed. He had worked to get that woman to go out with him for weeks, unlike what some thought he wasn't a man-whore, one or two good women every few months worked for him and he was very picky. The brat ruined everything!

The blond imp laughed as the man scampered away and looked to his teacher who remained unvocal throughout the exchange. Almost eerie really. When the jounin stood up and began walking out the place the blond got worried because he still lacked expression. Even his stride was lazy and uncaring.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

His curious tone went unanswered and he had to leave their ice cream to follow the man out the door and for a moment he lost the jounin in the crowd. Without his vest on you wouldn't believe how easily the man blended in, how many people wore black shirts. Naruto had to spot Kakashi's unique hair to find him, already far down the street. When he caught up to him it was obvious the man was unsettled and valiantly trying to hide it. What gave him away wasn't his face or his aura, something made the hairs of Naruto's neck rise when he approached the jounin and he wisely stayed quiet until they reached a less occupied area. The blond should have probably left Kakashi alone but Naruto was not the type of person to leave any issues unresolved. He chased Sasuke for three years just to get their 'brotherly quarrel' some closure. So maybe there was a little more too it, like saving the bastard from himself and one long tongue pedophile, but Naruto also really wanted his brother back. At the same time...

He really wanted to know why Kakashi was leaving in the first place.

The man was an abnormality. It wasn't the first time he just up and left without telling Naruto. On their second outing the blond was helping an old lady pick up her fallen bags and when he stood up the ninja was gone. Needless to say he would often turn his gaze to the silver hair man just to see if he was still there. Most times he was, sometimes he wasn't. Leave it to Kakashi the most barbaric ninja (as Naruto just made up) in the village to leave without so much as a good bye. The blond wondered if the jounin was ever taught manners because he never really saw him be courteous to anyone. When he wasn't off handily rebelling his superiors or dismissing just about everyone with his late appearance; his abrupt disappearance; talking to them like they were foolish children, he was just generally ignoring people with his face in his book. The Hokage was no exception and Naruto wondered how he got away with it so easily. The only time the copy ninja received any sort of chastisement was when Kakashi screwed up and she taunted him on it, which was rare in itself. Though the blue eyes boy knew the jounin wanted to be followed this time, he didn't completely disappear to start with. What did the other man have to say?

When the older man stopped Naruto ran into him and bumped his nose on Kakashi's head, he didn't miss the rising tension in the other's body. Though he was just pressed against it a second ago, would explain why he didn't overlook it. The jounin snapped his book shut and tuck it into his pouch attach to his pants at the back. By mistake the fingers tickled the blonde's hip and Naruto laughed his breath disturbing bushy silver hair. In a part of a second one bored, Naruto did see a deeper layer of anger, dark eye was staring up at him causing the young man's smile to diminish. The blond wished, not for the first time, that the older man wasn't so_ emo_.

"Kakashi-sensei come on we were having fun, it can't be that bad..." Even though he didn't know what was bothering the man at all.

"You were having fun Naruto or did you forget what brought me there." Blue eyes lit up as his lips parted to shape a circle Kakashi was sure he did forget, which was annoying. If not sort of funny.

"Kakashi-" The boy began to whine that the jounin quickly cut off.

"You're being incredibly selfish and thinking only of yourself, like a spoiled brat. I was tolerant before but you're over stepping boundaries. Did you even once think of the psychological damage you inflicted on those children?" Naruto blinked and frowned not sure what the man was speaking about.

"What?"

Kakashi released an annoyed huff of breath.

"Do you know how many kids saw you putting on that act? You made Genma look like my horrible **gay** ex-lover and called his girlfriend a whore. How do think you made her feel? Jokes are funny and all but don't involve innocent people, most certainly not kids." Naruto blankly stared at Kakashi and the silver hair man met that look with one of his own.

"You flashed me in front of alot of innocent people. Little girls too." Naruto, lost in confusion, replied. What was Kakashi trying to get at?

"There is a difference between learning human anatomy then about men loving men and calling women fowl names. Explaining the birds and the bees appose to same sex relationships and prostitution should be done at a proper age when their young minds can comprehend it. "

Naruto's eyebrows tilted inward as he tried to comprehend what the man was saying. It made sense but then it didn't, this wasn't something the jounin would worry about.

"I don't get it."

"Naruto, when you are five and your curious about where babies come from you ask a grown up and they explain it in a way that even a kid can understand. When you're a child you don't ask about why two men are kissing or what a whore is. You shouldn't know about those things at that age." It was then that Naruto felt slightly guilty. There was alot of children in there no older than academy students, he didn't think they were even academy students, civilian kids. 'Mommy what does whore mean?' 'Mommy why does that man have a boyfriend?'

Naruto never had anyone to ask those questions too, he learned through books. Reading those homosexual manga at nine completely petrified him for months, he kept thinking someone was going to rape him in the middle of the night saying 'relax and you'll like it' but you don't like it, you cry and cry until there is nothing left! He was completely horrified to learn women drew those things. Were they not suppose to be motherly? Was this a way at getting back at hundreds of thousands years of rape... by belittling men? Though he was convinced women were just perverts. Genma's girlfriend looked a little too happy to learn that he was in a supposedly gay relationship with Kakashi. Thinking over it more Naruto wondered if she was a whore, she was dating a man-slut like Genma.

"It's impossible to teach you anything morally just with that line of thinking. Stop doing it out loud as well, that is a dangerous habit when you're a ninja."

"Was I talking?" Naruto asked surprised, Kakashi looked exasperated, at least he thought so since they were still close together. He could also see the veins in the jounin's visible eye which was weird for him to be paying attention to.

At that the jounin turned around and was back to reading his book again as he walked down the street giving up the conversation entirely.

"Just leave me alone Naruto." With that the blond rushed after his teacher grabbing him by the arm holding him still as he blocked his path.

"You can't mean that just because I ripped up a dumb book, made you eat ice cream and called you my lover!" The muscles in Kakashi's arms tightened at that and he broke free of the grip.

"If you'll let me finish I was going to say I'm done hanging around you today, if you promise to stay away from now on I might come see you when there is nothing new to read." The silence that met the jounin's ears was unexpected but the look in Naruto's eyes was positively frightening.

"Don't-!"

"Sensei!" With the shrill battle cry Naruto wrapped his arms around the other man with a force that knocked them both to the ground, knocking the air from Kakashi's lungs stopping any protests. The boy was much heavier than he looked by far.

"Naruto get off me or I'll take back what I said **and **piss in your ramen." The jounin viciously hissed through clenched teeth. He should have dodged the move but he didn't think the idiot would actually hug him. He underestimated Naruto's stupidity. He really didn't like being smooshed like **this**. The sharingan user didn't wait for the blond to get up but kneed him in the side. It was like kicking steel and hurt himself in the process, then rolled out from the margin of space that came with the blond flinching up after the move.

"Do that again, I'll take pleasure in using violence." He stood to his full height and picked up his novel, dusting it off delicately then cradled it as he hurriedly walked away from Naruto still on the ground.

"Kakashi-sensei! You better keep your promise this time!" As the jounin scrambled away the blue eye teen took his time standing up again rubbing his side. Kakashi couldn't have been that mad since it'll probably just bruise, he could have cracked a rib after all. He laughed to himself about how soft a cushion the other man was without his vest on, probably close to what a woman would be like. Naruto even felt where he hid all his weapons at his waist, left arm and both thighs. It would be like Kakashi to be overly prepared.

He'd give the man two months to show up and if he didn't Naruto swore he'd come back with a really nasty plan to humiliate him. Dying his hair blonde was out of the question though, on the jounin you'd hardly notice. He'd have to ask Iruka to tell him more stories on their next get together.

In his excitement Naruto forgot about the messy business at the ice cream parlor and decided he'd go bother Sasuke. It had been a few weeks since he saw the Uchiha, or rather, the bastard had avoided seeing him since the night at Ichiraku stand. He'd have to tease the bastard about it.

With his chin a little higher Naruto sauntered off in search of inflicting his own brand of Uchiha-torture.

oxoxoxoxo

I swear I'm dying to tell you all what the big secret but alas, I'll wait... but I'm not sure if I'll make it through the next chapter without telling you! Yet I'm sure it obvious, if you already know pretend you don't and make me happy. XD


	7. Chapter 7

Wowerz another chapter. Excuse the lateness but for me, it should be expected. I wonder if anyone who started on chapter one over a year ago still reads this? Or was it two? Oo; About the secret.. I lied! You have to wait longer! Muwahahahaha! Not that's it even hard to see. I already have the plot for it worked out for the next chapter... but don't think the story is almost over, oh no, its only about a thrid of the way there! Think we can make this twenty chapters? Think that will take another five years to write?

oxoxoxoxo

"So then there I was, totally tucked away unseen, undetected as I waited for the dumbass ninja to pass me..."

Just as Sasuke emerged from his bathroom, his hands at his head drying the midnight black locks with a towel, wearing nothing but the skin he was born into, he heard an aggravating voice taunting him again for the one hundredth time that month. He had been trying to kill said person for the same amount of time.

Cockroaches were impossible to eliminate unfornately.

"Naruto... What the fuck are you doing monologuing outloud under my bed?"

"And then the dumbass ninja asked me the stupidest question ever because he is retarded like that." A blade came down through the thick mattress of the sharingan heir's bed into the wood surface of his floor where Naruto's head would have been if he didn't roll out from under it. The blond was crouched at the ground several feet away like an animal ready to strike. His expression held nothing but an impish smile at the totally nude Uchiha brandishing a katana from seemingly out of nowhere. One furious Uchiha with a talent rival that of a sannin. Most ninja would be worried about then, the blue eye teen gave a wolf whistle.

"Nice sword, a little smaller then what I'm use to seeing..." An arrogant voice taunted. It was answered with one bland in tone.

"Say that when it's going through your stomach."

"Sasuke I never knew you swung that way... or lusted after me, I feel so dirty and violated."

"Get out of my bedroom." The Uchiha's voice was higher in pitch with an underlying venomous hiss the blue eye ninja simply ignored.

"...so I'll turn my back and you can get into my pants? Oh no I'm not dropping the soap around your queer ass." The blond finished for Sasuke.

Naruto would admit Sasuke was fast, when he was toying with you he was moving at a speed of a peregrine falcon at the hunt, when serious he would run at the speed of sound. When he lunged at the whisker marked boy then, as to impale Naruto, the brunette was somewhere around the speed of light. As the taller man ducked Sasuke went through his own bedroom door, quite literally. Splitters of wood laid decimated at his feet of what was once the door and frame. Naruto knew when the getting was good and that was five minutes ago. Perched at the window sill of his escape route he waved to the Uchiha with a satisfied grin on his face.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to kill me." His words were met with red sharingan eyes, not that he was dumb enough to look directly at them. "So I'm taking off but before I forget..." Naruto reached into his pocket and swiftly pressed a switch, a flash came up for a brief second before there was nothing. "This will make me millions among your fans... toodles!" With that he jumped out the window skipping from roof to roof like a stray cat making off with the fisherman's haul.

Sasuke so choked up in rage had to refrain from moving lest he honestly follow after the idiot blond and give him the gift of his death at the brunette's hands. Killing Naruto would be bad if he had any desire to live himself, Konoha would not allow him to live if he harmed his own. Though maybe they wouldn't notice if he took a finger or ten...

"Fucker took a picture of me naked..." He said off handedly in the silence of the trashed room.

oxoxoxoxo

"I'm bored." Absentmindedly Naruto kicked his feet back and forth under the table he pushed important paperwork out of the way to sit. Needless to say its bothered the person who was trying to do said paperwork but they let it go easily enough and all it took was a skull-cracking fist to the head.

"Is that why you are bothering me?" Was his tormentees aggitated reply.

"What is there to do around here?" He brushed off the comment without a second thought and continuely shifted like a restless child made to stay put for far longer than they could.

"How about mission? Going out and avoiding death would be good for you, or not, at least you won't be here." The comment was far more harsh and possitively dripping with malevolence.

"Neeeh Sakura-chan you're so bitchy. No wonder you don't have a boyfri-ack!" The violent kick to his leg did its job in shutting him up, only it practically broke his leg at the same time though with the girl in question he would not be surprised to find that was what she intended. Not that she was as quick to hit him these days as she grew older, the topic of men or lack there of in her love life was something of a touchy subject. A subject Naruto didn't go into with fear like someone who wanted to live would. In fact truthfully he had hoped she'd be over Sasuke like she seemed to be over three years ago though of late it was obvious having him back did much to raise her hopes if only slightly of something more. The blond didn't know why then or ever since the dark hair ninja was a unappreicative bastard and the biggest asshole you'd ever have the displeasure of getting shit on by. He was only greatful he didn't harbor deep seeded feelings for the pink hair girl still or he'd be in a tough spot, though he realy wouldn't mind if he got to see her boobs again in a wet t-shirt. A few seconds later he recieved another bone cracking kick.

"What?! I didn't even say anything!"

"Stop staring at my shirt." Her reply was bland but Naruto suspected that she truthfully like the attention, she hit him with less intensity this time.

Sometime after leaving his break-in from the Uchiha's dwelling he wondered over to visit the young woman he hadn't seen in a while. A while being four days, it would seem donning her bra and flaunting it around her friends at the hospital was a bad thing to do and had to go into hiding for a while. He thank the heavens that he was faster as he actually out ran her flying fists of fury, he did however have to pay the damages himself out of pocket. Those walls needed new paint anyway. One deep anixety filled sigh resonated around the room before she dropped her pen by his thigh on the desk.

"What is wrong with you? You haven't been this annoying since we were twelve. You won't leave me alone and been bothering me for weeks, what the hell is bugging you?" Even though emerald eyes were advently focused on the blond the said man was staring at the ceiling with a contemplative look on his face. He was thinking.

Now she was really frightened.

"Sakura, would you say you like being around me?"

"I don't know, would you like having an enema?"

Unguarded sapphire eyes met hers and for a moment she felt bad about the teasing.

"I'm serious. Am I someone you like seeing and talking with?"

"Naruto... I don't know why you'd even doubt that. Sure you're annoying as all hell and its inconvient you're sitting on form three-seven-four of hospital supplies and replenishes..."

"Oh... sorry." He lifted his side so she could pull out the paper.

"But you're someone I treasure to have in my life. Don't be stupid you moron."

The blond gave a bashful laugh and rubbed his neck shyly.

"Sure you love me but do you like hanging around me?"

"Of course... most times anyway."

"Hmph."

The indignant huff he gave had her with a rueful tilt of his face had her laughing inside.

"You are being unbelievably bothersome these days, what has got ants in your pants?"

He looked at the floor and proceeded to continue kicking his legs though this time she knew it wasn't restlessness but nervous energy.

"I don't know I just have this weird feeling lately..."

"Weird feeling?" Naruto was being extremely vague and he kept stratching himself like he had a rash all over his body, first his neck then his chest before he was at his arm. A common sign of psychosis, something emotional was plaguing him. Sakura had seen many cases like this in new ninjas who hadn't gotten use to the sort of things they had to do to perserve the village and complete more unseemly missions. In fewer cases they didn't get over it and developed more extreme mental defects like schizophrenia or paranoia. At one breif moment in time she wondered if Sasuke's brother was such a case being as young he was at the time he was in ANBU, that was for a very brief moment seeing how she also saw him as more monster than man.

"It's just... nothing. I mean... I shouldn't feel that way you know... sometimes I just think that... I don't feel right. I can't shake this feeling somethings missing." Naruto furrow his brow staring at the floor trying to come up with and answer for something he didn't have one for. What she could make of it wasn't much. Something missing? He had been doing nothing but haunting everyone he knew recently to the point she fear he'd piss someone off enough to break his neck to shut him up. Not that she knew anyone who would, or _could_ really.

"Have you've been feeling lonely Naruto?" Vunerable blue eyes met hers and she could almost feel the protest come and die before it was even made. His eyes fell away to somewhere below her face but not looking at any part of her body. It seemed like a almost dreamy realization hit him.

"I dunno... maybe... a little bit." The blond started kicking his legs again his voice light and low like a whisper as he almost averted back to a child. It made Sakura smile.

"I understand Naruto, I think we all do. It's not like anyone wants to be alone all the time. I feel lonely sometimes too." Her empathy though fell on deaf ears she could tell. In a situation like this only a couple of people could understand what Naruto had been through and watching him stare listlessly at the ground she felt so imcompetent and useless knowing she really couldn't do more then pat him on the back and say 'its okay'. Though she didn't get the chance because milliseconds later it wasn't just the blond's eyes on the floor, it was all of Naruto with one irate male pulling his fists back ready to strike.

"Sasuke!"

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Well, well Kakashi you do look a bit rumpled after this last mission, I did have another here planned for you but I think I'll hand it over to someone more fit and up to the task."

To say the silver hair jounin was ''rumpled" was a more than a understatement. His hair was matted to his forehead with blood coloring part of it red and pink, enemy's as well as his own when one of them landed part of a tree trunk at his skull. Yeah, a _tree_. His clothes were covered in it too, what was left of his shirt and pants, he had to ditch the vest when a explosive tag was slapped onto it. One of them was also _very fast_. His forearm was broken for sure when he thought to shield his head from the damn trunk. Aside from the head trauma and arm he only had minor injuries. Some fractured toes and fingers, deep cuts that would need bandages or sitches as well. Though the hole in his foot was starting to hurt with the adrenline rush fading after running for his life. One of them was sadistic, licked the kunai after stabbing him in the foot. He was the last to die.

Kakashi didn't say anything to Tsunade or that far-too-smug sadistic smirk she sported. You'd think having one of her ninjas beated and battered, dripping life fluid on her floor before her would be a concern for her. In a sense she wasn't like the thrid Hokage, no where near it.

The bitch was laughing for fucks sake!

"Don't give me those eyes, I said complete the mission to the best of your abilites, not kill yourself doing it." Yeah she also had a _delightful _sense of humour. "When I suppose this could still be considered a successful mission since you completed it, even with the wounds you substaned..."

The jounin was livid, he wanted so badly to gut the woman before him, even though on a good day injury-free she'd probably punch his jaw through his head before he could blink. There had to be some law about this, he felt himself about to pass out from bloodloss and she was still mocking him! Her face grew serious for a moment though as she stared at him with emotions other than that of amusement.

"But again boy the value of your life wasn't worth the rewards for this one. Next time don't stand and fight."

"Easy for you to say... they didn't exactly give me... a chance... to flee." He was actually bleeding out his mouth as he puffed out his words. He stopped coughing up blood but the punches to his face made him cut his inner cheek, _deeply_, it was still bleeding. For a moment her honey colored eyes were unreadable before she rolled her shoudlers into a shrug and looked away.

"We are done here, go get yourself patched up by Sakura then recover. You'll be sent for when needed."

That in itself was also quite a task, but he wasn't about to be carried out on a stretcher, not while neither one of his legs were broken. Certainly **not **with the fresh wounds on his pride. Maybe the Hokage understood that much because even as he barely stood upright and did infact fall twice, catching himself on the wall once, she didn't say a word.

Though as he left he wondered minutely if she didn't savor his pain.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Naruto! **I'll kill you**!"

"Gah! Please Sakura-chan it's not- AH! My arm!"

Over was the second that Sasuke came in, the wrath of hell swirling around him. Gone was the minute Sakura watched it horror as they fought it out before her. Naruto dodging for his life and Sasuke breaking many of the hopsitals pieces of property while he tried to land a punch. Not long off from the moment when the pink hair konouchi broke up the one way match with pleas, threats and promises to deliver worse than a quick death. Just passed the instant where the Uchiha heir revealed 'the brainless worm' had sold off and generally released to the public pictures of himself in the buff. Though his anger did not lie within the photos themselves, or so he said, but the fact all morning he could not show his face to anyone at anytime without being on the receiving end of a come on.

They wouldn't lay off his fucking nuts.

To the present one pink hair woman took this information quite personally as though it happened to her and was currently gripping the guilty party by his shaggy blond locks while gripping his arm behind his back in a painful manner, one foot on his back, while she pulled.

Naruto swore he felt his joints tear.

"Ah! Mer-MERCY!" There wasn't many people alive who would ever get Naruto to beg. Ever. He had more pride than that. It wasn't the same as when they were young and the blond never could bring himself to raise his hand to his crush. No. It wasn't like he wouldn't prevent a beating from Sakura. He **couldn't**.

Bitch was strong.

"Die worm!"

"Gah!"

"What is... going on... in here?"

There was a moment of confusion before the instance of horrified silence. The voice was broken and raspy but still carried a strength of authority. Or maybe their memories played tricks on them. Beyond the spot Sasuke had taken up residence in watching the painful torture of his comrade, right in the middle of a crowded doorway with an abundant amount of terriffied yet curious eyes there stood, or rather slouched, their blooded and beaten teacher. He pressed the palm of his hand to the doorframe to hold himself up off his injured foot. It got harder to walk on every second. He'd be in immediate care right now if he didn't hear the explosion of yells and destruction that suspiciously sounded like people he knew.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Two voices erupted, the thrid gave him disbelieving eyes before they were guarded. The girl was on him in a second's notice gripping his arm in a far too painful manner.

"What? What happened? Why aren't you in intensive care? Why are you standing here? You're bleeding all over the floor dammit!"

"Sak... roke... arm." He could hardly grit it out. He'd survive if she wasn't squeezing his fracture arm! The woman didn't even notice his good arm trying to pry her wrist off. The jounin was starting to black out with the pain.

There was a moment of relief when she was forced away, or rather pushed into the wall. That was before the moment of humiliation he was picked up like a woman on her wedding day.

Damn hero-types always doing things the flashy way.

"We need to get Kakashi-sensei to a hospital right away! Hurry Sakura use you're jutsu to heal him or something!"

"Not...dying..."

"Jackass we are in a hospital. Those wounds he has aren't even fatal so stop panicking idiot."

A strong wind and tumbleweed would have fit the awkward calm that came then. Nothing but the raspy breathing of an injured ninja in Naruto's arms filled the silence. Maybe it was the pain and slight loss of cohorence but the jounin would have laughed at the completely ridiculous picture in that moment of his limp body in his students arms. He was actually waiting for the boy to start screaming 'Nooo Kakashi-sensei!' like he was a second from releasing his last breath. Hurt too much to laugh, even to try and fight his way out of strong arms craddling his body. He really just wanted to go to sleep the moment he got off his foot.

"Naruto if you want us to treat Kakashi-san you have to let him go..." The blonde turned to a nurse who's face was familiar but name he couldn't recall. Behind her two hospital orderlys had a gurney ready to transport the injured man anytime. Truth be told Naruto would have ran the jounin himself to the operating table knowing it would be faster and he could over see the man's care himself. Only he didn't know where that place was. He was forced to lay the man down who looked like he already passed out. A cold shiver ran down Naruto's spine as he stared at the battered man. Dried blood in his hair and the pale, almost blue white of his visible skin made it look like he was already dead.

Even as they retreated he stood there helpless to do anything as people began to drift away. Averting his eyes to the floor after they turned the corner fustration fell over him as his body tightly coiled. His gaze caught droplets on the floor of blood. Kakashi's blood. Following their path he could see some off in the distance where the jounin must of walked from. A stright line of bloody imprints of the jounins left foot reached far beyond what his eyes could see from where he was. He felt a twinge of pride in his chest and his lip twitch into a smile.

Stupid bastard refused to be carried and limped all the way here.

Releasing a steady breath a slight wave of relief rippled over him. Of course Kakashi was alright. His sensei was strong, a little cut or bruise wouldn't be enough to keep him down.

_'This time.' _The pessimistic side of his mind added. It purged some of the calm that was returning to him. Naruto had a few encounters with death to loved ones being as how almost everyone he cared for was a ninja though it never came any easier to him to accept their passing and for him, his sensei was too precious to die.

"Wipe your eyes pussy he isn't dead yet. You're so pathetic." Sasuke spitefully said as he harshly pushed passed the blond. Naruto tensed watching the dark hair teen walk down the hallway his steps disturbing the blood his teacher spilt. The rage at the teen's words made Naruto's blood burn. He had an urge to run after the bastard and split his lip. Seconds laters after the other's form disappeared from sight it occured to him that's what the other boy wanted and he laughed.

"Fucking asshole.'' He cracked a smile as he used his slevee to brush away the tears that almost escaped just as Sakura walked up to him look of concern overcoming her visage even though minutes ago she had him in a death lock ready to snap his arm in two.

"Naruto it's alright. Kaka-sensei is almost like you in a sense. A cat with nine hundred lives. Both of you idiots make it out alive somehow, you should learn how to dodge a punch instead of leaning towards it. It makes it hard for medics like me with you always showing up with broken bones and knife deep wounds... and would it hurt for you to bathe once and a while? It really sucks ot have to tolerate your stink while I heal your injuries..." Naruto didn't mind the ranting, just like he didn't hate Sasuke being an ass. He knew they dealt with things like this in their own different ways and trying to offer comfort just the same.

"...I've had enough with you using your body as a punching bag for people to use freely. Next time you think it's a good idea to stand still and let others beat you down at their hearts content I'm leaving you where you lay to become fertilizer for flowers."

Rolling his eyes he thought maybe again he did mind it. He ought to go find where they took his former teacher and wait until he woke up so he could lecture him for once. Payback is so sweet.

"Where do you think you are going? I still haven't forgot about the pictures you know..." Scared blue eyes turned to the sound of the pink hair woman cracking her knuckles.

"Bu-bu-bu-but Kaka-sensei..."

"Yeah, I'm sure he wouldn't mind a little company in ER." A cruel smile split her face into something ghastly frightening.

"Meep."

oxoxoxoxoxo

When Kakashi awoke his senses were hit hard. Scents, blood, that was his own. There was a distinct medicinal stench that could only be tied to hospitals. His ears were pounding as was the blood in his head, a dull yet stinging throb from a cruel headache that the beeping of the heart monitor only aided in making worse. There were voices somewhere not nearby but perhaps in the next room over not covered by the thin walls. Body ached, like that was surprising. Someone must have felt pity for him for his muscles felt like as though they were recoverying from a morphine high. What a rare treat of pain relief he wasn't awake for. Or maybe he was but his brain couldn't fuction with the chemicals hindering it.

He was incredably thirsty too but he refused to open his eyes right away to find out where the water the nurses always left out was. The most painful time in recovery was first waking up to a headache. It was the most awful when you awoke in the middle of the day and the curtains were left open. As everything alerted him at once and his body worked to disentangled the feelings it came to him he was not alone. When in captivity you should never show signs that you're awake as such even though he was in safe territory he still wanted his company to remain unware of his conherancy.

It could be somene he didn't want to talk to.

Against the pounding headache he slitted his normal eye, avioding using the sharingan as it would hurt so terribly, as saw someone sitting on the vistor's chair sleeping quite uncomfortably. He opened his eye fully and slowly rise to a sitting position, hissing lowly when he juggled his injuries, as he stared amusedly at the blond.

Naruto had his head back against the top of the wood chair with his mouth wide open and drool trickling down his cheek. One arm was tossed carelessly over one side of the chair just as his one leg mimicked on the other side. He was dangling rather procariously and Kakashi wondered if he wouldn't slip off at any moment. Against better judgement, his devious side could not be stopped.

"Enemy attack!"

At that sapphire eyes snapped open and Naruto rolled out of the chair, or tried too. When he lundged forward his body slammed right into Kakashi's bed jolting the injured man painfully while the teenager was on the ground nursing his ass that had hit the metal bar quite roughly. So it was a double edge move, still it was funny watching the boy complain as he nursed his bottom.

"Naruto that hurt, what were you thinking?" The jounin sternly spoke adding just a tiny bit of unconcealed pain in his voice, it wasn't forced.

"I'm sorry I guess I had a bad dream... Kaka-sensei!" Then like that the boy was like a puppy hanging off his bed side his hands gripping the sheets as he beamed at the older man his eyes shiny with relief. There was a pang of guilt in Kakashi's stomach that he deined was there.

"What are you doing here brat?" Words were safe, emotions were not.

"You were hurt and bleeding all over the place of course I stayed to see if you were alright! Well actually I stayed for the surgery then went home to shower and eat ramen before I came back. I'm surprised you're awake so soon, how you feel?" Naruto stood up and pushed aside Kakashi's feet gently to sit at the end of the bed as he voiced his every thought in one breath. The older male didn't hold the other's gaze as he leaned back into the pillow rest his head against the headboard.

"Like springtime in the garden of Eden." He grumbled. He was cranky, what did the idiot want from him? "Well it's time to go."

"Oh. Well... okay... I guess I'll just come back to- Kakashi-sensei what are you doing!" The jounin threw his feet over the edge of the bed and was steadily rising as the blond protested. He ignored the fact that it felt like his foot was being speared all over again. The silver hair man threw a bland glare over his shoulder.

"I'm not staying in this hell hole to be used as a lab rat." It was around that time the older man realized he was wearing a hospital gown and not clothes. He reached up to his face with his good arm to be sure it was covered. Thankfully doctor's knew well enough now to leave the mask on when he didn't need a breathing hose. He had made many 'complaints' in the past to be sure of that.

"Tsunadae said you'd try and run, she's hoarding your pants." The boy said without prompting. Kakashi grimmace that Naruto somehow knew his discomfort. His ass was hanging out and the boy surely got a good view of that when he got out of bed.

"Are you my guard then?" It wouldn't surprise him as it wasn't the first time. That's how she learned not to send female konoichi as they were easily swayed or young ninja as they were frightened off even in the face of a injured ninja. He didn't think she'd be send one of his students though, strategic move though. They knew his tricks.

"What? No, though she did ask that I keep an eye on you while I was here. Shouldn't you rest longer? You were hurt real bad..." He was on the recieving end of another preicing wounded eye gaze. Like the boy could feel his pain by just looking at him.

Around that time he stopped looking at Naruto in the eyes again and cautiously limped towards the window. It would be difficult to jump down with one bad foot and one injured arm but he dealt with worse. When he opened the window two hands reached out and grabbed him before he could try to escape. To this he hissed and turned. If he had to fight the boy to get out of here he would. He dispised hospitals

"Let go." Kakashi turned his head to stare at the blond, his eyes full of rage as he was full of pent up anxiety and pain but it made him all the more angry. His voice viciously deadly, enough to put anyone at ill ease. Naruto didn't bat an eyelash, he look more stern then anything.

"I'm not going to try and change your mind, I know what a stubborn ass you can be, but at least let me carry you there." Kakashi blinked and slowly his eyes widen. He hadn't been expecting that. He was ready to refuse even as Naruto encouraged him to come closer by the grip he had on the masked ninja's arm. "Please."

The jounin tensed and closed his eyes. It didn't effect Naruto in the least and he was even against his leaving, yet he begged so sincerly it was making Kakashi want to appease him. Fucking children.

"Fine, but you're carrying me on your back."

"You sure you want to do that? I'm mean it's late and not many people aside patrol would be out but your ass is sticking out for the world and perverts to see." Naruto smiled and Kakashi frowned. He had forgotten about that. He wasn't one for modesty but at the same time he didn't want anyone who knew him to see _that_. Especially while another man was carrying him around. The rumours that could come of that was just too horrifying to think about.

"Alright! Just make it quick. And don't go on rooftops, all the station guards will be up there." Resigned to his fate the older man gripped Naruto's shoulder with one hand and waited for the blond to lift him up. There was a short pause as the jounin kept his eyes closed and the other man remained immobile. It was quite odd and uncomfortable.

Sure enough he felt an arm wrap around his back and the boy shifted to bend over so he could grip from under Kakashi's knees. There was a brief moment of pain as he was swiftly lifted up as Kakashi's sore body didn't take kindly to the action. He had unknowingly clenched on the taller boy's shoulder and pressed his head under his chin. Once he pulled his nails out of the flesh he doubtably marked Naruto moved the climb out of the window sort of awkward with the large form in his hands but not overly difficult. If there was one thing the teen had abundance of aside from determination was brute strength, or maybe he was strong _because_ he was determined.

To escape from the window Naruto had to use his chakra to latch onto the side of the wall. He would have just jumped from there but thought better of it to walk down, it required more strength to do it that way seeing as how Kakashi was in no condition to use any chakra at all and the teen literally had to squeeze the jounin closer so he didn't fall out of his arms.

Kakashi was far from cozy. Being craddled like a child in someone else's arms seemed worse now then when he was too incoherent from bloodloss to care. It was possitively mortifying for that said person to be one of his students when he could remember a time when he had to carry the kid on his back when he was injured. He was alot smaller and lighter then too.

"You falling asleep?" Naruto whispered even though he doubt anyone was close enough to hear them.

They were on the ground and the teen had started a brisk jog to the other's house. So much for going fast.

"No."

"I was... worried when I saw you today..." The confession surprised the older man as though Naruto had waited all day to say.

"This wasn't the first time I ever got hurt Naruto."

"I know... it's just I've never seen you covered in so much blood before. That smell... I could smell your blood for hours afterwards." Kakashi raised his head to stare at the other's face but Naruto had a closed off expression. Like he was in deep thought as he stared blanky before him like he didn't just whisper words of fear and worry.

Thinking of it he couldn't remember if the teen ever saw him covered in blood. There had been a few times when he was bleeding from wounds from their various missions. Though it wasn't like the ones he subsatined were all that life threathening.

"You're worried for nothing. I have pently more running threw my viens right now." The jounin closed his eyes and the teen said nothing more as they drew nearer to his home.

Even after they arrived at the building the blond didn't let him down just yet and against the bitter feeling in his stomach at being carried he didn't complain when the blond ushered them through the door and apartment. They stayed that way until Naruto arrived at his bedroom door which the teen brought him all the way to his bed.

Staring at the clean inviting sheets a apprehensive feeling ran through Kakashi's veins as the boy slowly lowered him to the bed like he was almost afraid of disturbing him. The jounin said nothing as the pit in his stomach grew to nausea as he stared at his exposed toes and not the other body still occupying his apartment. Why was he still here? A long stretch of silence followed and Kakashi was ready to order Naruto out of his house if the boy wouldn't say something in the next minute.

Kakahsi braved himself to turn to gaze up at to the other's face but instead of demanding he leave he was struck confused at the look he was recieving.

Blue eyes didn't seem so worried as before, though there seemed some lingering concern dweeling in their depths, those eyes looked almost darker, but glowing too. If it was a play of light by the moon or the darkness of the room Kakashi couldn't tell but ceratinly there was a torrent of emotion playing on the iris of the boy's face. It was sort of frightening.

The jounin felt himself blushing.

Just the injured man lodt the nerve to stare at Naruto's eyes any longer the boy broke from his stupor and spoke.

"I should go." Kakashi concented with a nod and didn't look elsewhere but at his toes this time. Just as the blond reached his bedroom door before he closed it he left with three last words whispered in a voice so strained and husky it was hard to hear.

"Take care Kakashi."

When the door closed and the blond's tension left with it Kakashi's own didn't retreat so quickly. It wasn't easy to distiguish just what the teen was thinking about looking at the jounin as he did. Nor could the mask ninja figure out what disturbed the boy from the time they left the hospital room til now. Though Naruto managed to really set Kakashi off into a spiral of confusion and distressed with his departure.

Since when did he call him by his first name in a tone like... _that_?

oxoxoxo

Intellectual facts! Fan fictions are good for learning too!

1) Peregrine falcon's (whatever kind of bird they are...) can dive at a speed up to 200 mile per hour.

2) Speed of sound is 344 mph

3) Speed of light is 670,616,629.2 miles per hour

Don't laugh because before looking up info for the joke I didn't know this! I love wikipedia... and whatever that site was for the animal thing. Didja know cheetahs are the fastest land animals reaching speeds 70 mph? hopes to never have to out run a man eating cheetah

I wasn't sure how to make this chapter go so, again, I used Sasuke as my scapegoat. He is my filler when I have no idea what to do. Yay to gay emo ninjas!

I feel that because of the time in which to take to update compared to all I want to add in the story that I will skip quality for faster updates. I could prolly add a whole other side story about bullcrap but rather that I should attack the heart of the matter and actually have some yaoiness within the next few chapters. # Perhaps sooner if my brain can make it make sense in a shorter length of time... perhaps I can't entirely do away with quality. XD

Finish time... 7am after staying awake all night. I'll fix typos later I need to post now dammit. x


	8. Chapter 8

I was reminded by kissmedeadly it was Kakashi-san's birthday so I quickly slapped together a short B-day chapter with string and duct tape but it's the thought that counts, even if it is a day late...

So this is a sort of prequel to Fox eat Dog by like a year and its definitely stand alone. At most it might have a mention in future chapters but otherwise it has nothing to do with the story. Slight Naruto+Kakashi fluff.

I added this to even though this was made months ago as I was reminded not everyone goes to. Yes I love Kakashi torture/abuse.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

_'Most definitely a fractured arm...'_

Steadfast and swiftly Kakashi jumped from one tree to another. He had left the enemy behind long ago laying beyond Konoha's border with fatal injuries. One doesn't walk away from a hole in their esophagus. His trek home was far from comfortable with room service, the injuries he acquired were crudely bandaged or left to heal on their own. The wound in his thigh from a kunai he had to remove by hand bled through the white cloth and there was always the worse case scenario of infection. The white surface colored with dark splotches from dirt and blood told him if not changed soon he'd have to have an antibiotic injection. Laughably he despised getting needles but when you get stuck, stab and prodded with metal objects on an almost daily bases your whole life you grow quite hateful of the fact.

The injuries were his own fault. Stupidly he thought to play the hero when his ANBU team was surrounded. He must have taken a page from Gai's book of How To Be A Noble Champion. In the end he received a busted arm, cut up leg, most probably a cracked rib or two, countless bruises and cuts of that including damage from senbon needles and shuriken. His back was slightly singed from a fire jutsu he dodged but not entirely making his leaps from tree limb to limb all the more delightful as his back muscles worked pulling the skin tight so he felt the pain in every jump. The momentary lapse of idiocy he'll be paying for in recovery. Ninjas weren't issued pain killers if you didn't lose and arm or had your head scalped. If Konoha did then the number drug dependents would increase in the village as more ninjas became addicted. Nothing but cold/hot compresses and Sakura's the terrible green tea concoction she says meant to sooth the ache but is flavored like it came from a cheap restaurants garbage bin...

Finally having enough of vicious burning aggravating his back the jounin jumped down onto the forest's surface. The landing was smooth enough and after a time the unbearable itch in his back from nerves over exhausted subsided. He was not far from Konoha's Gate anyway soon he would have a medic slap some gauze and band aids on him, hopefully not followed by a needle, before crawling home to bed. Once there he'll read all night while pretending he wasn't in pain, that he didn't almost die again today and that tomorrow will be better. Clutching his left arm as he almost limped towards home just one thought fiddled across his head in his cynical mind.

_'Happy Birthday Kakashi.'_

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I can't believe you got yourself hurt like this!" Sakura screeched in his ear again while tying up a nick in his forearm. Anything under five stitches was a nick and hardly a concern to professional ninjas but she had insisted. It was always a draw back to the older ninja when his former pink hair student took care of him. He'd be appreciative of her concern, maybe even grateful if she also wasn't a bossy nag while doing it. Like her ranting by his ear as he dazedly concentrated on the back wall of a painting some low-rent artist created. Pictures like that placed through out the hospital as if the sub-par drawings would make the patients more homely with the surroundings. He'd take a pin-up girl with next to no clothes on over any corn-field scenic shot any day.

As the pink hair kunoichi in the white lab coat continued to treat him while spouting the various methods of dodging thrown weapons from the basic ninja defensive maneuvers manual he already knew and had memorized Kakashi idly began to wonder if maybe he should bring his idea to the Hokage about having more appealing pictures and posters placed on the out-patient treatment room walls. Possibly while shes drunk so she more receptive to intelligent reasoning. Now all he had to do was formulate a plan to distract Shizune while he was negotiating with Tsunadae.

At this point Sakura started roughly applying some balm to his back burns causing him to tense up and hiss in pain otherwise he remained silent until the process was over. _'Her bedside manner could certainly use a lot of work...'_

"Here take this and have someone apply it to your back every three to five hours. It'll help speed up the healing process." She dropped the small tub in his lap as his hands were clenched into fists, ignoring how her old teacher was giving her a dirty look. The young woman knew he knew she was being cold and indifferent on purpose, it scared her to have to treat the man's injuries fretting that if they were just a little bit lower, a couple of more inches... She didn't like that. So he would have to put up with harsh treatment while receiving... treatment. Just one more reason why he should avoid getting hurt next time.

"Put your pants back on and leave so I can take care of a real patient." He slapped him on his elbow where there were no injuries but jarring the others regardless. He clamped his jaw close, pissed off but hiding it. Like he'd let the girl know any of her actions effected him emotionally, it would just goad her into doing it some more. Getting off the examination table he pick up his torn pants figuring he'd take a shower a little after he got home, he'd have to get someone to reapply the cream.

Just as he placed his vest back on striding pass the medic ninja writing down complicated medical garble on a piece of paper he was stopped by a hand on his arm. Curiously he followed the hand up to the the owners face looking into concerned, almost warm, green eyes that offered tenderness that wasn't there during his entire visit. "Kakashi-sensei I almost forgot..."

For a moment his stomach did something funny as he wonder if she remember what today was... Until he saw her other hand and he began a light struggle as the grip on him tightened.

"Sorry Kakashi-sensei but this is for you own good it'll just take a second..."

He would forgive Sakura later he knew because she did look honestly sorry as she stuck the needle in his arm. Though it didn't stop him from struggling in the meanwhile knocking over vials and ruining all her paperwork as he scrambled to get away. It took the woman three minutes to catch him and over a minute more to put the needle in him. There was also the ten other minutes in fixing his broken stitches and re-wrapping his dressings. She did well, however, still not as quick as her mentor Tsunadae who currently held the record.

Limping out the office while rubbing his twice injured arm he cursed this day once again for many reasons. To him it was just another year. Another birthday he sometimes wish didn't happen at all...

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Kakashi-san!" The jounin had to pat himself on the back for his hobbling down the street went mostly unnoticed. He took many back alleys and short cuts to avoid the areas which most of the faces who knew him would ask questions. He managed to get nearly all the way home, just three blocks away, before someone was calling out his name. He sighed and stopped. Running wasn't an option, he'd have to jump right to cruel dismissal. Kakashi was in too much pain to even want to deal with this. He stood there until his present company caught up and stood in front of him, directly in front of him. They were nose to lips since the person was slightly taller, with the man practically stepping on his toes.

"I heard about your gallant deeds! I'm so filled with admiration for you efforts... to think you would defend your team so honorably... its so touching..." When Gai started to sniffle going from a loud triumphant tone to near sobs Kakashi promptly side stepped him continuing on his walk home. He refused to watch the grown man cry _today_. Yet as he thought, as it never worked before, ignoring Gai was not enough to get rid of him and once more he was standing before the shorter jounin, face more stern than before He'd look authoritative if he didn't still have tear streaks on his cheeks.

"Kakashi-san... even though it is truly the greatest act a man could do for his village your still far too young to die... and I still have to surpass you in skill!" Again the Green Beast of Konoha proved he was bi-polar sounding sincere and almost pained at the thought of him dying then making an exaggerated declaration with his fist beating against his chest. Hardly enough to move Kakashi with the display, only infuriating him more.

"Gai the day you surpass me is the day I'll give up reading Icha Icha books." The injured ninja scowled, his eye darkening with fury. Under normal conditions the thought of giving up his books would be sacrilege, but both of them were over thirty if Gai wasn't stronger than him by now chances are he never would be. Kakashi believed this statement to be entirely safe.

The dog trainer once more walked passed the leotard clad man and this time the green giant seem to get the hint. Though he was far from rid of him yet and after a few half steps as he kept pressure off his other leg the bowl-cut man was there slowly walking beside him keeping with the slow pace.

If Gai's loud boosting and obnoxious antics wasn't vexing enough his inquisitive silence would make you want to kill him. The injured man could feel dark eyes burning a hole in his visage, assessing him, analyzing his outward and inward status. The masked jounin got to his block before he snapped, in his own Kakashi way.

"I'm not inviting you in for tea and cookies." The bushy hair man received a reaction but it was only a minute deepening of Gai's brow titling downward as he frowned. Undoubtedly trying to pick apart and assemble Kakashi's language. People didn't believe that the extraordinary jounin ever got emotional over anything, that's only because he never expressed it in a manner as normal people would. When he was mad he didn't shout, when he was upset he didn't cry, but for him his simple bored tone laced with sarcasm Gai was currently translating. 'Get the fuck anyway from me I'm in a bad mood!'

Kakashi would never call him a friend, would never admit to having any care for their rivalry but for all the years he knew the other Gai was the one who knew him best. When you revolved your life around one person as obsessively as Gai did you come to know a lot about him, and that's why the other jounin pushed him away.

Gai knew too much.

Which is why when Kakashi awkwardly limped up the stairs he stayed at the bottom watching him leave. Never offering help but ready to catch him if he fell. Kakashi would not accept help if asked but would submit if forced on him. So the spandex dressed ninja stayed where he was observing his rivals slow steps with care while the silver hair man ignored the fact that it wasn't just relief of being left alone making his shoulders relax and body less tense. It was at his door his present company spoke up, voice not a yell but loud enough to carry to the other's ears.

"Kakashi almost forgot that today..." The jounin's hand tighten on the doorknob. He stared at the wooden door as he swallowed deeply. What sort of declaration would the odd-ball freak make to him about today? Why did it make his stomach flip?

"Since you can't use your leg and arm I'm going to do five-hundred one-leg, one-arm push ups!" The jounin didn't need to be looking at Gai to know he was smiling as the light from the sun reflected off his teeth and landed on the door. Promptly Kakashi opened it and escaped to inside. Relieved to be at home there was a eerie pang of something tremble through his body, some close to disappointment.

oxoxoxoxoxo

He remembered what he did last year on this day. He was sitting in his home, reading his porn, doing his laundry, cooking dinner for one. It was odd since he could remember what he did on this day as he did the year before and the year before that. Out of all the days he couldn't recall Kakashi did remember this day every year since he was three and every year after he turned twelve it was never good. Funny how even though he always long to forget when it came but he never did. He remembered every year no matter how banal the day was.

He wish he could forget this day...

_'Now to get this on my back..'_

After his shower where his wounds ached as he uniformly cleansed them, the water ran down the drain tainted with red swirls, came to the fun part of putting Sakura's miracle cure on his burns. He'd need to summon a clone to put it on his back, but he'd have to eat first to replenish his reserves. The jounin practically ran his chakra into the ground earlier.

Slipping on his pants, leaving his re-bandaged chest and face exposed, he limped into the kitchen intent on fixing himself something to feast on. Though he didn't really feel like cooking anything at all, maybe something instant. Glancing around his near empty fridge seeing nothing but spoiled milk, a half-used wasabi jar and container of something that looked like it had grown its own civilization he would have to eat something packaged.

In his cupboards he found them to be sorely lacking as well as sugar, flour and a formerly lost weapons manual didn't make for a scrumptious meal. Had he really forgotten to restock his food supplies before a mission? It was the worse time as chances are you are so beat and torn up afterward the idea of leaving your house was inconceivable. Though it had been a while since he gotten so battered it really didn't cross his mind as a problem.

Slumping against the counter top he was disgruntled enough that the idea of just giving up and going to sleep seemed better than letting this day get any worse. This had to be the second worst birthday in his lifetime, the first being when he was held in captivity for questioning for seventeen hours, it didn't nearly beat that.

Clenching his fists staring at the counter's surface he was honestly infuriated in himself. Why should this day be any different then any of the others in his life? It really was nothing special. Even when he wasn't trying to think of it somehow the thought of it somehow wiggled its way into his mind infesting him with some old nostalgic idea of yesteryear cruelly reminding him he was another year older but in the same place he had been the time before. Why did it matter so much anyway?

Taking a deep breath running his hand through his hair Kakashi couldn't shake the feeling like it did.

A loud noise like a battering ram at his door caught his attention just as a loud, punishing screech of a voice that felt as though someone dug a rusty spoon into his ears resonated through his house.

"Ka-Ka-shiii-sen-seiii! Lemme in! My hands are full!"

'Oh hell.' Hesitating only long enough to remind himself Naruto probably could feel him in here and was in fact kicking his door in so if he didn't open that door it would be opened by force.

'But I'll need a mask...'

"Kak-KA-SHIII! I know your in there! Come on its getting dark out here and I'm sick of holding this junk!" This was followed by more kicks to the door telling the older man if he didn't answer soon his neighbors would probably come complaining to him later about his guests.

Grabbing the nearest make-shift mask, a dish towel, he crudely tied it to his face before storming to the entrance to his apartment, in as much as he could under his condition, and unlocked it barely pulling it open an inch before he was stumbling back as Naruto decided he wasn't opening it fast enough as the boy charged in. Kakashi was just recovering as the blond flashed by his vision moving into the living room and dumping whatever in his hands on the counter top.

"Whee-hoo. Damn I just barely made it, do you know how far I had to carry this stuff? You can't get get books like these in Konoha!" The silver hair man stepped into the room watching the grinning boy who brimming with self-satisfaction with cautious eyes before glancing at the thing the other had cluttered his table with.

"What is that crap?" It was his home invaded, he was allowed to have that _tone_, if Naurto didn't like it he could leave.

"Dammit Kakashi! I just lugged this stuff from halfway across the country how about a little appreciation?!" Just as the teen sat down digging into one of three bags on the small table the jounin came closer noticing that the young man's black pants and black shirt were covered in dirt as it did look like he came back from mud fight in Rain village. What was it about kids and being tracts for dirt?

"See, look at this! A limited edition Honey Come Bunny novel! Its hard finding porn you haven't already read you know?" The whisker face boy held up a book next to his cheek sounding cheery, his eyes flashing with exuberance at the older man. To this Kakashi answered with a blink.

"Kakashi? Why is a dish rag on your face?"

That was also answered with little more than an eye twitch.

"What are you doing bringing me porn?" He had to know. He couldn't hide his curiosity and confusion. Naruto was good at doing that, an expert surprise ninja.

He could shock a rock.

"It's your birthday duh! I like had to rush a mission just to get home in time. I'm surprised I made and I even brought you food! Ramen! Of course though I would have been here sooner but I had to stick around and eat some there but I brought enough for us to have here. Iruka says Happy Birthday have a wonderful day. Are you hurt Kakashi-sensei?" The amount of energy the blond showed in his explanation moving from ecstatic, explanatory and concern contradicted his earlier statement of being tired, he was wearing the jounin out with his enthusiasm.

There at his table was a bag full of books, a bag with take out from Ichiraku and one bag contents yet unknown. Kakashi furrowed is brow looking very unsure and confused as to why this was all happening. _'For his birthday...'_

"Why'd you do this?"

"Jeez Kaka-sensei you ask an awful lot of questions but never bother to answer mine. Why don't you just sit down and not hurt your brain trying to figure it out eh? I'm hungry." Just like that the boy dismissed his ex-teacher grabbing the containers of food while pushing aside stuff for space on the table before placing them down. The next moment Naruto stood up leaving the room to go into his teacher's kitchen, not even bothering to knowledge or ask him about going in there. He came back a few minutes later with cups and a pot of tea looking at into Kakashi's mis-matched uncovered eyes as the hound summoner sat at the table, the older man still look dazed and confused.

"See that's better and here is some tea! I tell you nothing on the old man but the stuff he serves is never good. I tried convincing him to buy some other stuff and he refused to serve me for three days! Can you believe it? He is so touchy... You always have the good stuff in your house, at least from what I can remember from my last visit. When was that again? Like a year ago? Why don't you ever invite me over anyway? You damn recluse. M-mah! I love this tea, where do you get this stuff anyway? Hey aren't you going to eat?"

After Naruto's long one-sided conversation from which he immediately began slurping up the still warm noodles he held the other man's gaze as he ate. Naruto watched him like he was waiting for something. For Kakashi this whole encounter was odd and it unsettled him because he was sure he almost knew the answer but forgot somehow. The idiot just busted in here gave him a bunch of books and food, made himself at home, talking like they were the best of friends. Naruto also used his best green tea bags he bought from a Suna merchant he went too once a year.

"You know Kashi-sensei, correct me if I'm wrong but I deserve a 'thank you' and possibly, 'your the best guy in the world Naruto' for my efforts. Not a blank stare and eye twitch. You have lips under that rag don't you? I always wonder if you did or maybe there is just a hole in your face where there should be..."

"Dammit Naruto don't you ever shut-up?"

"Hey you spoke!"

"Naruto why are you bringing me presents and food and just genuinely your annoying company?" He asked exasperated, this was far beyond aggravating and going into 'I wanna claw my eyes out'.

"Because thats what friends are for! You know no one ever remembers birthdays in Konoha is that like in the ninja book or something? Forget you were ever born? Its a wonder people even know how old they are or what year it is. I thought it was just me, but just the other month it was Neji's birthday and I had no idea! When I asked him about it he said he was in the middle of mission that week and forgot. Like no ninja ever celebrates it so I went and dug up files on everybody I knew to find out and here I am! I can't believe how old you are, ha! Thirty-one and yet your already covered in grey hair... Hows it feel to be that age eh grandpa? Whatever you do don't start peeping on chicks when you hit fifty like Jaraiya, although he was doing that when he was twelve wasn't he?"

The blond was staring at him expectantly again, this time Kakashi knew why. It was so easy to mistake the simple for something complicated sometimes. The annoying knuckle-headed blond was showing consideration. He was doing it cause he cared even when other people didn't care no more about the simple things in life. He just wanted to be here eating slightly cold noodles, giving him books he did indeed_ already_ read and having a stupid conversation about nothing just because he icared/i too. It was so stupid it just had to work and Kakashi laughed. The jounin laughed like he hadn't laughed in months, years and tried valiantly not to fall down as the other man just stared bug eye at him.

"Damn did you crack or something? Whats wrong Kakashi-sensei? Should I get a doctor?"

"Naruto... whats in the other bag? Hm-hm-hahaha." The silver hair man quieted his chuckles waiting for the other to make a move. The blond himself looked weary about giving into the other's demands but slowly responded reaching into the plastic bag with a unusual store logo on it to reveal a pink box. It was short but big around and Naruto opened it.

It was then the jounin fell face forward covering his head with is uninjured arm hating how it hurt his ribs to laugh so hard yet not being able to help himself.

A cake, a cake! A cake with Happy B-day Kashi on the top and a slightly squished left side from being jarred around. Undoubtedly he skimped on the letters as they cost to put on there. It was so idiotically sentimental it was practically _adorable_.

"Na-Naruto, are you trying to kill me? Hahahaha! Owww..."

"Hey! I swear after this I'm never celebrating your birthday again! Jeez your getting just a card next year you unappreciative bastard!" He dropped the cake on the table near his teachers head and followed the motion with placing his elbow on the table, putting his cheek in his hand in a huff. To this Kakashi wiped the tears from his eyes and sat up.

"You made my stomach split at the sides, my back is killing me. Your just a big girl aren't you? Ha-ha I need to put that cream on if I ever hope to continue this delightful meeting." He stood up almost regretting he laughed so hard as he left for his bedroom.

"I'm not a girl! ...Hey Kaka-sensei is that burn marks on your back? What'd you do?!" Naruto followed the older man into his room in time to see the shirtless jounin getting out the tub of cream. In seconds Kakashi was on the receiving end of one of the boy's 'can I do anything to help make it better' looks. Sighing he gave in readily holding out the tub and turning around pointing his thumb to the area.

"Just don't do what Sakura did and slap in on there like your tenderizing meat." Kakashi shuddered at the thought.

He could hear Naruto uncap the cream and butter up his hands with it but it was unexpected how softly the other man put his hands on the area. It wasn't at all painful like he prepared himself for, being how fresh the wounds were. For a second Kakashi almost jumped away at the near intimate manner in which Naruto began rubbing his back, caressing even as it wasn't hard enough to consider rubbing.

Callus fingers touched him first as to test the area before the young man's palms followed, pressing tenderly down onto the flesh. In smooth small circles he gently slide his hands over the delicate area like he was holding something fragile that would break with the tiniest bit of force. It put the jounin in a bit of unease as a finger grazed his neck tickling the area closest to his ear. He didn't even know Naruto could be so gentle and wondered for a brief instant if he ever been with a woman, with a caress as gentle as that it seemed logical he picked it up from somewhere.

When he pulled away to get more of the stuff on his hands the skin tingled with a bit of pain but also something else. Kakashi couldn't stop himself from jumping slightly when he felt the fingers again and his student pulled away waiting a minute before trying again assuming it was probably a reaction in pain. Naruto held out his hands flat near to Kakashi's skin but not touching just letting his body heat be felt and mingle before closing the distance. He then began repeating his ministration's over again to the sensitive skin stroking the flesh like he knew how much press here and touch lightly there. Kakashi would have moaned if it wasn't so awkward to, this was Naruto...

"Kakashi-sensei..."

The jounin gulped as the teen whispered his name. It was so surreal standing there in his room with his young student receiving the softest back rub ever, hearing his name spoke like how a lover would. His overworked muscles stiffened and the other dropped his hands seemingly finished. Kakashi was grateful for that much as it was long overdue to stop the touching.

"It may not mean much but... Happy Birthday."

It was funny how his stomach fluttered, heart swelled and his throat-tighten making it hard to say anything in return, but he be damned if he didn't force _something_ out.

"This doesn't mean I'll let you see my face you sneaky brat." Kakashi smiled as Naruto frowned grumbling about mean old men.

It's funny how that came to be his fondest birthday in a long time.

oxoxoxoxoxo

So yeah did that a while ago... I've already began the next chapter and it should be up soonish. That is if I don't try to update my other story... ItachixKakashi smut is hard even when you're being stupid on purpose!


	9. Chapter 9

Readers thanks for reading this story but extra love to reviewers who make me think this is still worth reading by...erh...reviewing. Chapter dedication to Kotone for being uber cool. I added the fangirl cute scene for you!!

**oxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Naruto, I'm not eating that."

"But Kakashi-sensei! Gai-sensei says its delicious and nutritious and will heal you at your wishes!"

"Don't repeat him. Why are you in my room again? Get the hell out." Kakashi glared at Naruto who held before him some green glop that was made from who knows what. He wondered if lab tested if you'd even distinguished half the ingredients.

That afternoon it was deja vu for the jounin because as soon as he woke up the blond mess was there. This time though Naruto was reading through one of the novels the jounin left out. Hentai of course. The faces Naruto made as he read it was priceless. At one point he turned the book upside down as if he was reading the page wrong. That happened to be one of the more 'creative' novels the older man owned. Yet the the amusement was short lived because once the teen realized he was awake the onslaught of mothering ensued.

"Naruto seriously get that away from me. Dammit Naruto!" In a fit the hound summoner gave up the arguing and slapped the dish out of the boy's hands letting the concoction tumble onto his carpet. There were worse stains than food on his floor, no big deal. Crossing his arms over his chest he sighed and relaxed against the headboard semi-cradling his arm in the cast. He gave the other ninja a scowl that told him how pleased he was the blond was here. Naruto looked in shocked at his teacher as though the man had gone mad. At least for a moment before he broke out into laughter.

"Kakashi you're a nut. Like a little baby who doesn't want to eat his meal. Fine, see if I care." The teen smiled a mirthful grin as big as his face. Looking at it made the other male all the more cranky. He wanted to slap that look off the boy's face. What the fuck was the kid so happy about anyway? Kakashi was in alot of pain where he laid. His head hurt worse than yesterday and the medic's hadn't used any jutsu to heal his wound on his foot opting to use modern medicine in conjunction with his bodys natural ability to regenerate from the cut. Broken bones couldn't be mended, they had to get better in their own time. The pain killer's effects had worn off yesterday so today he was all on his own. Staring up at his company did little to help his spirits in that as well.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you didn't like me. Yeah I know, you can take care of yourself and all that junk. Suit yourself. But you still owe me for your promise and now is just well as anytime to hang out together. So! What do you wanna do?" Kakashi stared, just completely flabbergasted. Was the teen so insane and self-centered?! "Don't look at me like that. If your lazy ass doesn't want to leave the bed we can play a game but we _are _spending time together. How about go fish?" Naruto pulled a deck of cards from out of nowhere. Kakashi's cards. The special edition cards with women in various state of dress and background.

"You were looking through my things while I was sleeping!" The jounin sat up, ignoring the pain and got as far as his feet on the ground before leaning forward and cradling his head. He knew he had a migraine and his foot hurt something feirce.

"Not really you left them out by the book. Here I smuggled something out for you while Sakura was washing my blood from her hands." Kakashi lifted his head with great effort but as his eyes zoned in on the pill bottle in the blond's hand his entire demeanor changed. His hand was fast it trying to snatch them from Naruto but the blond was quicker with back up, as the boy had already suspected what was to happen.

"Heh, alot of people would sell their souls to get this so I'm not giving it to you for free."

'Dammit!' Of course not. How in the world did he get the pain killers anyway? They were usually locked into a safe where no one knew where the key was. You had to know someone who knew someone, who works for someone ,who's grandma's brother's, best friend's, cousin that was familiar with a drug smuggler. Kakashi wasn't one to make friends. Jaraiya on the other hand might have. None the less the teen was three feet away with a pill bottle that would make at least half his problems at the moment disappear. Only he'd have to sell his soul to the devil to get it.

"What are your terms?" Of course he'd do it! It just really sucked ass!

"Hee hee, just what I'd like to hear. For one we are hanging out today whether you like it or not. And you're going to be nice!" He pointed a chastising finger before he continued. "And ummm I dunno, wasn't really thinking that much about it..." The jounin's face faulted as the blond fingered his lip. Utterly foolish and clueless. The kid was sitting on a goldmine and couldn't think of one thing to ask for? Money? Women? His first born? He never truly believed Naruto was retarded until now.

The boy was just sickeningly stupid.

Then Naruto smiled. Well and truly something entirely mischievous. The sharingan user was intrigued as he was worried.

"I want you to buy me ramen." Kakashi repressed smacking his forehead.

"Everyday with you for the next month."

"What?!" He roared unheeded how much emotion he was showing now.

"And I want those boxer shorts I grabbed the other day. They were soft and comfy."

Kakashi's eye twitched. Now he was just being cocky, and weird. The imp was smirking at him as he dangled the bottle, the little pills hitting the side with a whimsical sound that had Kakashi drawn too. What the hell was it with this boy black mailing him for ramen? The jounin's eyes lusted after the bottle but his brain knew it would be even worse to accept such a deal.

"Alright." He hung his head, settling back into the pillows slowly, defeated and weary. Kakashi rubbed his face bemoaning his fate as Naruto let out a victorious whoop and jumped in the air. He snorted.

It was all he could do to stop from laughing.

"Give me the damn pills." The jounin was proud of his skill at exerting and hiding his emotions at his whim. Too often though he had been finding himself without such skill when the teen was around. Naruto's damn trickery got the better of him. It would seem the student surpassed the master.

Naruto uncapped the bottle and took out a pill that Kakashi's eyes instantly zoned in on. He hoped he wasn't drooling. This was torture! Recovering from injuries was a much worse pain than receiving them to have something as marvelous as a analgesic to ease the worse of it was a god send. To have such a thing so close yet so far was like the ninth level of hell. It was when a thumb and forefinger held out the tiny white bead that the bed ridden man swiftly snatched it and turned his back with inhuman speed. Especially since he was still nursing broken ribs. Blue eyes blinked with amazement. Looking at the pill bottle Naruto wondered if the other man was actually an addict. He hoped not. When the jounin settled back against the bed wounds aching from the stress he let out a deep sigh waiting for the drug to take effect. Turning to Naruto he reached out a beckoning with his fingers to hand over the rest.

"I think I'll keep these with me so I'm sure you won't back out."

"Naruto, my leg is broke, where am I going to run?"

"You never know." He turned his head away as Kakashi slumped. That would mean if the boy wasn't around he'd have to find him some way to get a fix. Little did he know Naruto was just worried he was a user.

"Well if that's how it's going to be then get something to eat, I'm hungry." Stratching his hair and shifting into the soft sheets he bluntly demanded some breakfast, or lunch whichever time it was.

"Hey! I'm not your damn nursemaid, besides you knocked your damn meal on the floor in a huff."

"I wasn't about to eat that garbage, it's worse than hospital food. Hell, I'd rather be in the hospital and feasting from their trash cans than eat one of Gai's dishes. Go make yourself useful and bring me something to eat. **Besides**ramen." At this point they were in a glaring match with neither looking very amused.

"What if I don't want too?"

"Then I'll probably have to get up and go get it myself."

"..."

It was as the jounin watched the boy's retreating form grumbling about crusty old ninja's that he let out a chuckle that hurt his stomach a bit. It wasn't so bad though since the pill was kicking in. What a softy the boy was and a little slow. It was at times like this he had one of his dogs fetch his meals. Still, making the teen be his servant was fun revenge. He wondered if he couldn't talk the boy into bringing him a television later.

oxoxoxoxoxo

As it turned out not only was Naruto dead set on coming to see Kakashi everyday he also spent every minute of every hour from the time he woke up until the time he went to bed with him. At some points he had the order the boy away so he could take a piss alone. Other times he got so fed up with the constant company that he just threw a "Kakashi fit" and demanded Naruto leave. It was at those times the heathen used that damn bottle as a rattle as a means to pacify the angry jounin. Unfortunately it worked, everytime.

After the first few hellish days of the new routine it became easier to deal with the blond when he was 'doped up'. He relished the time once the drug kicked in and he could care less why the blond was hovering around him. Naruto was concerned about giving the man drugs and having second thoughts about it constantly to the point he once tried to switch the pill with an aspirin like he didn't think the sliver hair man would notice the difference. In all honesty the jounin was far from dependent on drugs to start with but the teen was inadvertently making him want to be one with his constant presence. Kakashi needed to be high just to endure the kid. The boy seemed to be overlooking that part though. Selective visual he supposed.

In time though he also learned the boy could be alot of fun. They started playing a little game, which Naruto was completely oblivious too, so that everytime Kakashi wanted something or to get his way he'd let his injuries be seen by twisting a certain way or having a 'sudden spasm' of pain in the middle of their arguments. He did end up getting the blond to get him a t.v. though he never once turned it on. Also as a means of getting a little peace in the second week of the Naruto-thon he sent the blue eye boy on a trip into a town several hours away to get something that would 'help ease the suffering'. After the first couple of hours the novelty of quiet boredom wore off and he stuck to sending the teen down to the store instead.

He also learned dispite the moments of complete and utter agony of Naruto running his mouth off almost without needing to take any sort of breath, there were times the child could be quiet and it was surprisingly most frequent. Part of the reason he could stand to have the younger man there constantly was because the teen did or said nothing. His face was in scrolls or his manga books, once and a while he felt a little adventurous and picked up Kakashi's porn books. It never lasted long. The boy either got bored or horrified. That was how Kakashi learned the teen didn't find costume play interesting but also shied away from tentacle rape. Stuff the hound summoner shouldn't bother to think about.

After the fights, the gripes and all out abusement of the boy's kindness by week three when he was able to walk more than a few feet he didn't mind so much the teen was following him like a stray dog.

Much.

"Naruto, I don't care if I break my other leg right now I'm not having you carry me again." Kakashi hobbled down, on one crutch, the dirt street of the market place after the mornings fight. It seems Naruto thought that he could ditate Kakashi's life and forbade the jounin to leave the bed under any circumstances. There was a small scuffle in which the silver hair ended up tearing part of the scab off his foot wound which he ignored and Naruto realized Kakashi would hurt himself to get his way. As it was the boy relented but had been closely hovering over his shoulder the whole way. He must have picked up the mother hen trait from his surogate father.

"Just don't over do it. Gah you're so difficult to deal Kaka-sensei, just like a woman." The comment earn him a glare from his teacher as well as two passing women who heard him by chance.

"Is that why you're attracted to me?" Naruto eyes shot up at his teachers inquistive look. He paused and stuttered over his words while Kakashi ignored him and continued on to his destination.

Eventually the boy realized the joke and caught up to his strude giving the other a dirty look but otherwise quiet. Score a win for the old school.

"Honestly Kaka-sensei at the first sign of you getting better you chose to come here?"

"If you don't like it you could always go home."

"Hmph, you'd like that wouldn't you..."

He said no more as Kakashi walked into his favorite book shop feeling like he was coming home for the first time in years. As he wobbled about like a new born kitten walking for the first time the teen cautiously waundered in getting an oddly uncomfortable tingly feeling in his gut.

It wasn't as though he was new to adult book stores, the fact was he was surprised this one didn't have additional 'accesories' like some of the other risque ones he encountered on his travels. No what settled uneasily in his stomach like a rotten sandwich wasn't the scenery. It was the atmosphere. Something in the room at that moment disturbed him and he couldn't put his finger on it. He quickly scampered over to where the jounin was leafing through books already holding several in the few seconds the blond was not near him. As it was the masked ninja was holding them in his good arm holding them while he shouldered his crutch. His other injured arm that was no longer in a cast, Kakashi removed it by the fourth day himself much to Sakura's dismay, but still far completely healed held a book he was was reading through.

"Kakashi why don't you let me hold the books." The younger man went to grab from them but was stopped by a paperback smacking his hand.

"The last time I let you near my novels I never got them back."

"What? What are talking abo-? Oh yeah, well you haven't asked for them back!" He defended, poorly. Kakashi rolled an eye.

"After being in your hands this long I wouldn't want them back, who knows what you've done to them." The older man replied, voice almost bitter.

"Ewww, like I'd do that. I haven't even touched them. I think they are in a corner under a pile of my dirty clothes..."

"All the more reason to burn them instead." Kakashi returned his attention back to the novels and Naruto shrugged him off. The jounin was probably just forgot about them and made up some excuse as to why he never asked. It was amazing just how good a liar he could be. Growing up Naruto thought the silver hair man couldn't lie his way out of a cookie jar, now the boy was sure you could find the crumbs on his chin and Kakashi could convince you they were dirt patches.

It was coming to the teen more easier to decipher at least part of the man's thought pattern. Maybe through experience or he was maturing at least for the most part. Less of an enigma Naruto learned the man was actually human and imperfect. Now if he could only catch a glimpse of his former teacher's face. The teen already thought of the possibility of black mailing the man's mask off but relented. Instead of watching Kakashi eat like a hawk at prey or following him into the shower the blond now wanted to try and seduce the mask off the man. It wouldn't mean as much to force Kakashi to show him his face but if he could get the older male to willingly remove it well, that would mean something. It would make all these efforts at befriending Kakashi worth it.

"Do I have something on my face for you to stare so long?" Blue eyes blinked as the jounin casually stated his question. The teen turned his head not intending to focus so much on the man as he was just staring off into space with his thoughts about him. That didn't sound like a viable excuse either.

Looking around the stores contents he sighed deeply. Everything in here was trash novels and porn. Even at his age now none of it appealed to him. Though for as long as his teacher was in here he was stuck too, he refuse to leave Kakashi in the event he collapsed from over exertion who would help him? Naruto conveniently factored out passing pedestrians just because he didn't add that in account. Randomly searching through the isles and glancing through books to pass the time Kakashi was left a short blissful moment for just him and his goodies.

It had been a long time since he had come in the store, they had a few new novels to look through and purchase. The silver hair nin was of no small sense of pride to say he had a whole room in his apartment that housed his books alone. The day Naruto found it was the day they spent in complete and utter silence. From time to time the blond would give him a look that seem to scream 'freak!', or something like it, it had amused the jounin greatly. So completely immersed in his books Kakashi didn't feel the presence lurking behind him, or rather ignored it.

"_You jerk! You broke my sister's heart! How dare you come to me now as though I'd consider you a friend?_" Behind him the blond had a manga and was reading out loud the words on the pages to his teacher. He even used a more effeminate voice for the part. Kakashi's eye twitched but ignored Naruto's antics to tease and annoy, he really was just a littl boy in a man's body looking for attention.

"**I'm sorry if it hurt you in turn but I'll not apologize for something I feel I'm not at fault. I never ask for your sister to love me**." The boy's voice became a deep baritone and the blond inched in closer to Kakashi, his breath now hitting the hairs at the base of the masked ninja's exposed neck. The jounin tensed as the words on the pages of his book became illegible, instead continuing to listen to the boy behind him.

"**Just as I didn't ask to fall in love with you.**" Kakashi's natural eye widen at the words. Naruto was practically speaking into his ear and his voice oozed desire and lust. The older man's heart began to pound as the room seem to grow too small, too enclosed. The teenager was way too close to him with the added body heat making the jounin feel feverish. So he shoved his away with the use of his shoulder.

"Stupid child, don't crowd me."

"_Wha-what? Love me? How can you-?_" Naruto didn't stop reading of the comic and after being pushed he leaned against the shelf in clear view of the other man. For his lines of the unknown 'uke' he switched back to a soft voice stuttering over his words much like that young female Hyuuga would. Though the older man kept his keen eye towards his book the words might as well been in another language for all he was paying attention to it.

"**Who did I give my attentions too? Who did I focus all my time on? How much more clearly do I need to say I'm utterly and hopelessly in love with you? Maybe words and subtle actions aren't enough, let me prove it to you...** And then they embrace in a super dramatic kiss." Naruto finished with holding up the page that the hound summoner couldn't stop his head from turning to see. Sure enough it was a gay manga with two men locked in a passionate embrace.

"I swear how can girls read this stuff? Ugh... I guess this answers my question." The blond was leafing through the pages and held up to show Kakashi a scene with the two males in more intimate position. Which Kakashi was also helpless to turn his head from.

"Jeez what perverts they are. Bizarre perverts at that. Do they really want to go home and see their boyfriend being fucked from behind by a devilishly handsome man? Not that I'm mind if saw two chicks in bed together, heh heh. Though I don't think I'd like the idea of some dude with his ding-dong in my whoo-ha. How about you Kakashi? Have you've ever been with a man?" Innocent blue eyes met his and once again Kakashi was left speechless without a thought.

How was he suppose to answer that? Because he sure wasn't going to answer with the truth, but he also couldn't think of a lie either. Was this some kind of test? Was Naruto trying to draw some reaction out of him? Was he maybe giving away something right now by keeping up the silence.

"Do you honestly want me to answer that?" He said out loud the only thought that came to mind.

"Well... yeah. Not like I wanted details though and judging by your answer I really shouldn't ask for them..." There was a pregnant pause where the teen wouldn't meet his eyes and the silver hair man couldn't bring himself to say anything or even go back to reading his novel.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You can always ask questions, they just might not be answered." Especially since what topic they were on at the moment. Why was the younger man bothering him with this subject? Didn't he have friends to experiment with to find these answers like the jounin did as a child?

"You were the top right?" Naruto dared to lift his eyes to Kakashi's with a seriousness in there that had the other man unsettled. Like the blond couldn't accept that his former mentor could be 'the lesser'. It was in that awkward moment that he lost it and started laughing again. Only Naruto was silly enough to make him break out like this. He closed is book and collected himself as he decided he was finished with their outing today and hobbled to pay for his things.

"Now Naruto who is the pervert here?" At the counter Kakashi reached into one of his hidden pockets almost looking as if he was feeling his person up as he took out is money. Tokashi's eyebrows raised only to stared at Naruto and vise versa. In their stare off Kakashi handed the store owner his money and said man took it, gave him change then bagged all the novels without looking away from the blond's face. It was so weird to Naruto. It wasn't as if he was staring at him with hate or curiosity. He was just staring like one would do when reading a book.

Kakashi left without word slowly as the teen crowded him looking over his shoulder the whole time to the weird cashier. As they left the teen saw a tiny smile bloom over his wrinkled face.

"He's creepy." The boy said though the comment fell on deaf ears as the silver hair man tuned him out completely. Or at least he wanted too. He learned it was a terrible strategy since ignoring the boy meant not noticing when the boy thought of a good idea to get his attention. Like in the book store.

Ignoring Naruto was very bad.

"You shouldn't sum things up you don't understand as, weird or strange. If you took the time out to study them you could learn something."

"Wow, that was actually something nice you said."

"Hmmm?"

"You defended someone. It was sort of surprising. You do care!" The tan teen spread his arms as though to encourage Kakashi's progress into humanity.

"Maybe you're a little more dense than I surmised." The jounin paused then. His foot was really beginning to hurt and his arms were sore from holding himself up. His hand ached from clutching the crutch and holding the books both. Just like he thought the second he showed discomfort the blond was at his heels with his face in Kakashi's.

"And you're more stubborn than an Uchiha. Come on. Upsy dasiy!" Kneeling with his back turned to the older man the blond tried to tempt the man to climbing onto his back. Glaring at the kid he slowly obeyed with the wicked thoughts of maybe catching Naruto in a choke hold. It was awkward holding his crutches and books both while clinging to the teen but he managed. It's the least he could so to hitch a ride.

For Naruto he was actually grinning like an idiot for not having to coax or 'threaten' the other man onto his back. The jounin was bundled up close with the crutches hanging off his arm while he wrapped his sturdy legs from the back around the blond's waist. One muscle arm hugged the teen's upper body. It was about that time he notice Kakashi's other hand was propped up reading a book where he was peeking over Naruto's shoulder to see it. The blond leered at it with hatred.

Now that Kakashi can't walk without aid he can't read his book while walking. He didn't fight getting on Naruto's back not because he was getting more comfortable with being around said teen. It would mean that he had a free hand to read with.

'_Tricky bastard.'_

He hid his pout while the jounin read his novel relishing in the quiet peace between them.

It was a short while later only after Naruto reached home that he spoke disturbing Kakashi from his fantasy world.

"We're here Kaka-sensei."

"Naruto... why are we at your house?"

"I thought you could use a change of scenery. Don't worry I'll bring you home in time for your curfew." The blond gave him a flirty wink and patted the other's legs as a sign to make the man get down. Kakashi was displeased to say the least since escaping wasn't possible on a bum leg. Then again he wasn't able to evade the teen all this time so it really made little difference. Dropping his good leg first he balanced himself using Naruto's shoulders before tenderly letting his injure foot unravel from around the other male. While getting his crutches off his shoulder he was like a flamingo standing with one leg in the air. Though he did it with the added support of the boy's sturdy stature. A small pang of jealously hit him as not only was the teen bigger he had the use of both legs.

_'If this was Naruto in my position he'd be better by now.' _That thought also made him depressed. He tried to hide his irritation as the boy held the door open for him too. Kakashi would never admit he stuck his crutch into the teens foot on purpose.

"ow" Naruto glared at the jounin's back before going inside and closing the door behind him.

It had been ages since the older man had been at the teens house. Not since carrying him home several months ago. It was still rather bare and clean but it looked like there were a few new declarations added to the room.

"I don't feel like making tea, want some soda?" Even as the boy asked he was leaving the living room to the kitchen before the man could answer. Oh well, wasn't like he was going to drink it anyway. At least with the boy out of the room he didn't have to slap him away as Kakashi slowly sat down careful in his movements as not to cause any needless pain or discomfort. Naruto was seriously too suffocating with his care. If the teen had his way he'd probably would make the jounin his pet and do everything for him. Feed him, cloth him, bath him. The boy had tried in the first few nights and Kakashi put his foot down. Well his fist, over Naruto's skull and threw him out of the room, or tried too. He tore his stitches that night and the teen never bothered to follow him into the bathroom again.

Sitting at the low table he immediately pulled out his book intending to read the rest of this visit before something in front of him caught his eye. It was a recently developed photo packet and the jounin recalled Naruto's extensive photo collection. He wasn't going to bother with it but curiosity had him reaching out and opening the envelope. There was a good chance some of those pictures could be of HIM.

Leafing through the first few pictures had his heart sped up and his breath became heavy.

The first were of what seem to be a night out of the bar and Kakashi wasn't sure who was taking them but Naruto wasn't in any of them. Though he came across the first one with The blond sleeping leading Kakashi to believe someone else took all the pictures but had given them to the boy. In that picture that teen was sleeping in the chair with it alot closer to the bed and his head was on Kakashi's pillow. Kakashi himself was right next to him comatose. The taker took several pictures of them even walking closer to the bed to get a better shot. The last one of that nature had Naruto's eyelids partly open looking toward the silver hair man. The next pictures were more of Naruto's friends as one had Sasuke as the main focus but Rock Lee was standing behind him with his arms raised and face in disbelief like the Uchiha said something to shock him. The next picture revealed to him Sakura and what looked like she was holding the camera toward her and Sasuke trying to get a picture with him but all you could see was the back of his head.

At least he found the culprit.

He placed the pictures down back where he found them and put his hands on his closed book staring blankly at the table. Naruto found him like tha when he came in a moment later with the soda.

"Hey I brought you a drink. You alright?" Again the other was at his side taking large strides to reach him and placed the dirnk in front of him before kneeling next to the quiet man.

"Naruto I'm curious."

"Huh?" The jounin sounded even tone and almost bored when he asked that catching the boy off guard. What was Kakahsi thinking of to make revert back to indifference?

"Why do you keep so many pictures on your bedroom wall?"

Naruto sat up and turned away. The jounin wasn't looking at him but the teen didn't want him to see his embarassed blush.

"Heh, I guess you saw that huh? Most people don't know about it. It must seem sort of silly of you..."

Kakashi turned to look at the boy and waited patiently even though he wanted to pull out the boy's fingernails to get his question answered. Either the boy sensed his hostility or having the man look him in the eye embarrassed him but his blush became a deeper rose hue.

"When I was young I use to see in people's houses pictures on the walls and stuff of family portraits... I never had that so... I like to keep pictures of all my friends who care about me. It reminds me I'm loved." The boy was practically trembling with the confession and Kakashi's face was so stony he looked like a lifeless doll staring at him.

"I see." Was all the answer Naruto got before the jounin picked up his book and went back to reading.

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

I'm done and go like five minutes til work. I had to end it like this instead of the other way I wnated to because well... this way was less dramatic. Just say no to drama!

That's for reading this crap. Yaoi next chapter I swear!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten like seven months late! I said I was slow. I started like a million other stories also. Fault MakandCheese and Kotone. Mostly it's all their fault.

It so is...yeah.

A random dedication props to Ahjareyn on ygallery for like actually reviewing to me kicked me in the ass to finish the last 1800 words to complete the lastest chapter.

Ego strokings are my soft spot. *bats eyes innocently*

**Lips that Slip**

oxoxoxoxoxo

Naruto noticed the change in Kakashi's attitude the first night. The older ninja was hardly speaking, even to chastise or threaten the young man. The boy thought the jounin was just in one of those moods and let it be. The next day prove much the same leaving the silver hair man to hardly speak to him. It was causing paranoia to grow within the teen but oddly the man never ordered him away either. Whenever the younger tried to help Kakashi the other man quietly endured it. He wouldn't say a word which was scary in itself. The blond found himself purposely ruining the jounin's belongings or spilling things to get a rise out of the other but like a zombie the man would sigh and go about silently staring off into space or his book.

Naruto felt like a insect.

The one time in the remaining week Naruto tried asking the jounin what was wrong which his reply was. 'Nothing you can help with.' The ensuing argument was fruitless and left the blond feeling worse than before. Once the older man was walking around without the aid of a crutch the boy had little reason to stay around, or excuse rather. The parting left him feeling empty and his teacher's lazy goodbye did nothing to smooth over the feeling emptiness and dismay. Now two weeks after the fact the young ninja was back to work and feeling oh so miserable.

"I just can not understand this 'carpet munching' Anko spoke of. She said I needed to get a taste of 'bush'. What are those Naruto? Do you know?"

"Sai dammit I'm trying to mope here whatever Anko says its dirty and don't repeat it ever!" Naruto huffed sitting on a outdoor bench eating dumplings and sulking. The man next to him stared forward and thought it over.

"So what is it exactly?"

"Pussy! Pussy! Pussy Pussy! She was coming onto you, you dumb bastard! She wanted to mount your dick! Ride your cycloptic snake! Fuck your brains out! Insert this!" He pointed to Sai's crotch. "Into her female genitalia!" There was a massive pause in which everyone in the dinner shared until at such time the brunette broke it.

"Oh. I didn't know you could do that with a woman." Naruto froze at this point, horrified he met someone denser than he. Sai was an abnormally and no one would contest that but this was too much and the teen had to ask.

"What did you think it was used for?"

"Well Sakura had these books and I have read that man prostate-mfff." Naruto quickly slapped a hand over the brunettes mouth as beads of sweat poured down his face. Sai sat there quietly before growing sticky with the blond profusely dripping sweat and then made a swift counter attack with a poke to his side. The reaction was instantaneous and so was his freedom.

"Stop that! Don't molest me pervert!" The teen carefully guarded his sensitive sides. The pale skin boy smiled his dainty little grin.

"That was what you call a joke. Anko gave me a through education on raunchy terms and humor. Did I do it right?"

The blond teen glared seething through his teeth as he gave no vocal reply.

"The Gods are against me."

"Is there not one God? Or do you speak of a different type of religion?"

"I don't know but I know one of them must be frowning at me to put me through this shit! I'm surrounded by bastards yet I'M the outcast! It doesn't make any sense!" He gripped his head before tucking it between his parted legs staring at the ground in self pity.

"Would this be categorized as depression, an act of intense sadness for a undetermined amount of time."

"This is me, this is a kunai. I'm not sure who's eye I want to put in through first, yours or mine."

"If you put it through yours first you wouldn't be psychically able to put it through mine."

It was then Sai watched the boy slump to the ground tossing the weapon to the side and curling into a ball. The teen wasn't even able to wallow in grief by himself. His companions detached emotions and mechanical sense of logic made it impossible to seek any sort of comfort from him. Not that Naruto had even been trying, he just was sitting alone on that bench staring off at his food contemplating the meaning of existence when the other boy spotted him thus been torturing him ever since he sat down. Which may had been less than three minutes ago but it seemed like alot longer to the boy in question. Then his day got worse.

"Dobe, look at me so I can kill you."

"Sasuke, just do it now, I don't want to live anymore."

"Sasuke-kun, Dickless is having a fit of dispare, if you killed him now that would make him happy. Maybe you could just poke at him." Sai used his dumpling stick to poke at the teen's thigh to which Naruto half-heartedly whined but did no more than occasionally twitched. The Uchiha's eyes followed the example but the brunette himself stayed rigid and calm.

"Sasuke why have you stopped- Sai? Can I ask why you are poking Naruto with a stick?"

"He is depressed Kakashi-sensei. I'm trying to antagonize him but to life. It worked for Sasuke-kun."

"You! Now I truly am surrounded by bastards who only wish me dead! Well then take my life! I don't want it anymore!" The teen turned onto his back and shouted up to them no longer within range of Sai's prodding. Kakashi who was able to walk almost completely back to his full strength frowned down at the dramatic teen and hmphed. Sasuke was less than impressed, a cold hatred danced in his eyes.

Or perhaps, constipation.

"A quick death is much too benevolent and kind for what you deserve. Painful and meticulous is what I will give you."

"Why has he done now to make your smile fade so Sasuke-chan?" Kakashi artfully played concerned. Though not very well. At least everyone there thought, himself included.

"You still mad that he had these printed in "Thick"?" Sai had pulled a magazine and opened to the paged he had marked with a piece of paper. Sasuke snatched it up and ripped the article in half, discarding it. Kakashi then picked it up as the furious boy went for Sai's throat.

"You vulgar pervert." Sasuke hissed low breaking the bench the other male was sitting on missing Sai's neck as the teen jumped to the nearby rooftop.

"Of course not, but not everyday I know someone who is famous. You now this issue's close to ranking the highest sold issue of all time? It's in the top five as we speak! I bought several copies myself to share with everyone." The Uchiha eyes were burning red with hate and he hadn't even activated his sharingan. Kakashi next him began chuckling out loud.

"Hello, still waiting for death down here."

"Wow, I never knew a model personally. A porn one at that." Kakashi turn and held up the page that was only partially mangled. Where the slit had missed cutting off only half the teen's arm, Sasuke stood in his bedroom holding his sword facing the camera fully nude from when Naruto had taken the photo perched on his window. It was quite clear the sharingan user looked angry like he really wanted to just tear someones ass up, but that could be interpreted in a few ways. Sasuke glared heated at his former teacher with the man smiling almost dumbly at him. The silence was broken as Naruto spoke once again.

"Oh come on, that's so last month, wasn't someone planning to kill me?" The emotional teen broke the silence sounding bored if somewhat back to normal.

He was ignored.

"You know what this picture is missing?" Though it was Naruto begging for death Kakashi was the one about to get it judging the look Sasuke gave him from just merely mentioning the picture. His next line would decide everything.

"I'd think you'd look better with blond hair." It was then everything was quiet and two on lookers watched the exchange between Kakashi and one mad Uchiha. The silence was thick enough so that even Sai noticed it as he watched on with a spark of growing anticipation he couldn't name. It was fast and too much for the naked eye to see but Kakashi was standing across the street before the two teens could see and Sasuke was far off in the tree behind the boys holding out his sword hanging upside down.

The table and unbroken bench where Kakashi had once been standing by split in two long moments after the scuffle had occurred. It sent both Sai, and Naruto to their feet staring in disbelief at the two men. Sasuke looked livid as he leapt down from the tree lurching forward as he took determined steps around the debris and back on the dirt road again. Hardly worried, only alert, Kakashi stared at the page on his book while secretly keeping an eye on the furious wild cat not twelve feet from his position.

"If your done we should be getting to our destination. Hokage-sama doesn't like to be kepted waiting." Placing the book deftly in his vest Kakashi put both his hands back in front pockets slowly trudging to to the enraged teen and not pausing as he nonchalantly strolled past the teen never stopping even as Sasuke fists clench tighter around his blade. Naruto release the breath he had been holding once Sasuke scoffed and closed his eyes sheathing his weapon with one last hateful glance vaguely aimed in the blond's direction before following after the jounin who gained a small lead on him.

In the wake of their absence Naruto and Sai stared off after them long after they were gone before turning their confused eyes to one another.

"Did you understand that Naruto?"

"Hell no. Teme and that bastard Kakashi always act weird."

"Must be one of those bonds I don't understand." Sai offhandedly noted, almost wistfully to himself. Naruto's eyebrow raised as Sai continued. "Kakashi-sensei seems very close to Sasuke-kun. I'd say their bond is almost like big brother and little brother from how he antagonizes him. Then again Sasuke doesn't really seem up to fighting back. So that would be more like father and son." While he was talking Sai pulled out his notebook and offhandedly started writing down his thoughts as Naruto's face screwed up into something akin to concentration and distaste. He turned around moments later and began walking off with his hands in his pockets foregoing any polite goodbyes to Sai.

"Naruto? Where are you going dickless?"

"Home, so I can be alone." Sai watched the retreating back of one of his most informative subjects as the teen drug his feet as he wandered off home. The blonds mood shift today brought the brunette vast knowledge foremost he learned even idiots could realize their short comings.

"Wonder if it was because he became aware of his tiny penis."

0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

"You have been rather undisruptive Uchiha Sasuke, that is aside from what you did to Mochiba's restaurant table earlier." Tsunade was leaning her chin on her fist showing off her ample bosom as it sat cleaning on her desk just as surely as her tiny bunny paper weight. Kakashi wanted to grimace at the idea of Sasuke being penalized for the action, that meant Kakashi would have to spend more time hanging around the teen, checking in on him. Possibly he'd be forced to live in the same quarters. It was by no small act of pleading by Naruto the boy was even allowed to continue to breath Konoha air again. Sasuke himself said nothing and continued to stare with annoyance plastered over his face. Through all the proceedings and aggregations the teen never quite got it in his head he was effectively sentenced for death if not through the efforts of friend of comrades around him. Even now he still felt little remorse for everything that he'd done, if anything. Kakashi himself was at least glad the teen hadn't screwed up so bad in all his time returned though, in truth, he was enraged by Sasuke's complete ungratefulness. He himself went through alot to get the intense sentence lifted and never even once got a thank you or even a nod. Nothing. He was still suffering now having to take more trips to see the old bag and endure any lectures on his 'bad parenting.'

With women like her in the world he was thinking of just being completely homosexual.

"I heard the details of the argument..." She continued to say, either not expecting an answer or not wanting any excuses. "It would be asking you to move a mountain to refrain from fighting Naruto..." at the mention of his name Kakashi notice a slight hint of fondness in her professional mechanical tone. "though I do expect you to not to fight, harm or even touch any person or property with the slightest ill intent in mind." Tapping a finger against the desk buffering the silence in the room trying to hammer intimidation through the Uchiha's thick skull. It wasn't succeeding but Kakashi was growing restless with the thoughts on how the boy's punishment would effect him.

"Sasuke, I never was the most agreeable to releasing you back to the community so easy and was impressed that you've gone this long with little incident but you are still under probation." Lifting her hands she crossed them together obscuring her face so only the hard look of her eyes was seen.

"I'm assigning you a new parole officer." Both of them perked up at the statement. In the fore front of his mind Kakashi was estactic. Sasuke was no longer his obligation. While he didn't mind terribly the force visits he did despised the associated trips to Hokage tower with the wicked troll who dwelled there telling him how horrible a teacher he was and lecture on ways to hold his team together. Kakashi hadn't had a mother in years but he was beginning to appreciate that fact. On the other hand his gut clenched tricking his mind to fuel the doubt that because she was changing Sasuke to other hands he technically _was_ a failure, just as unfit to care for as she said.

Then he remembered Tsunade said it. That didn't count.

"Just who is this person?" Sasuke spoke the most in that sentence than he had since the start of their meeting. If Kakashi didn't know any better there was more than just curiosity in his tone. Disgust and vehement hate by the sound of it. It came as little surprise. Not because the teen had some great attachment to have the jounin as his watch dog. Bringing in an unknown entity who might actually attempt to do the job he was assign would infuriate the testy Uchiha.

The blond bitch grinned maliciously behind her hands as silence pause hung in the air.

"Might Gai." The air left their lungs in unison at those two words.

A silence fell apon the room like breath leaving the dying. Kakashi faltered with a small rising of jealously. He viewed their rivalry in comparison of that as a grain of salt but with something like this, it was like failing in a fight and being left to wait for someone to come save you. That someone being Gai, one of the most loudest and pushy ninjas in the world. The leather of his glove crinkled int he quiet room. Sasuke was dealing with the news much differently.

"Your fucking with me."

As expected of a child.

"Sasuke-kun you've forced my hand. He will be along shortly and we will work in a more rigid, effective schedule for you to follow. You will be required to see me, Shizune or Ibiki-san daily as Gai will be required to check in on you day and night at times of his choosing. I will be lightening his mission load that you, Kakashi, will be required to take on." She directed her hard glare towards the stupefied jounin. It was in moments like these the urge to rebel arose like the ocean at high tide, but he was a ninja first and this was their Hokage, leader of the village. He could always just rat out her hidden alcohol spots to Shizune later. Small victories. Sasuke on the other hand did not hold close such loyalties and maturity.

Big surprise there.

"No." Cold, hard, filled with intense hate. Kakashi wilted. Not out of fear, but for the fact the brunette would be as daft to think he could fight the forces that be. Even he wasn't once a traitor the unspoken law remained. Don't try to win in a verbal fight against a woman. You'll not win.

Dumb gay boy.

"There is no room for debate its been decided, you are assigned under Maito Gai and will be temporarily reassigned to Team 9 for any subsequent missions. You are to follow his instruction-"

"I will do no such thing."

"And follow his directions as order!" After Sasuke's cold cut in the blond raised her voice slamming her fist to the table as though she were dealing with a child. In which case the Hokage was.

"Hokage-sama! Your loyal, handsome, number one Taijutsu master ninja has come at your call!" The tall fashion victim came threw the door, a rather normal entry for him, only to slam it against the wall leaving various cracks and on it for one poor soul to replaster later. Kakashi stared off at him with as much enthusiasm as watching Naruto try to do quantum psychics, or even simple multiplication. Sasuke eyes had grown wide before hiding his surprise and turning away balling his fists, hissing through his teeth.

"Gai, I told you... nevermind. Get out of here Hatake, the rest doesn't concern you." Tilting his visible eye Kakashi felt almost sick with disdain before closing his eyelid. The next moment there was nothing but a cloud of smoke left of him. Sasuke stared listlessly at the dispersing mist in Kakashi's wake with a sense of betrayal lurking behind his eyes. He was alone, always knew it, that was just the way things were.

But fuck if he would be alone in a group of monkeys.

"I will not be made a mockery of, I won't abide by this."

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ceilings weren't very entertaining, they certainly weren't interesting when painted plain white, and these walls were partially yellowed, fraying at the edges. Naruto thought maybe he could stand to actually change the color now that all he was doing was laying on his bed staring up at them, he had the time. He also could be doing the pile of dingy laundry that had accumulated in the corner again, or perhaps clean the bathroom. Lord knows that it needed it. Even as he thought these things, trying to ignore what was really bothering him, he continued to stare at his dingy ceiling, motionless.

Sighing deeply the blond mustered enough energy to sit up bending his knees enough to use them as arm rests. It really was foolish to let his wayward relationship with his ex-teacher get to him. Ridiculous even. There had rarely been a time in his life Kakashi dealt with him on a personal level, it really shouldn't have been a disappointment that now would been any different. Solemnly he stared his eyes falling to the dark scenery of the room. He truly was moping and it was unfitting. He wasted so much time on caring for his teacher that he neglected himself and his training. The reason still eluded him but in the end his efforts fell on a cold heart.

Placing his feet on the cold floor the numbing chill didn't reach his mind. If he was going to sit in the house all day he might as well do the chores. Grimacing he took the pile of laundry and lifted up half the contents. Noting he wouldn't get them all in one trip his eyes caught one of the porn books that was trapped underneath. In the blink of an eye he merely frowned dropping the clothes again. Exacting the hand signals by memory three clones rose in a puff of smoke rising with the same enthusiasm as a condemned man to his cell. Growling at the long faces he forgot his existing emotions would extend to his replications. Taming his face a dark shadow fell over his eyes catching just a slither of light sparking in a manner like a gem in the dark.

"Dammit! We have a life to live and we are gonna start by cleaning every nook, cranny, crevice and dust bunny! Get ready boys our enemy out numbers us and has us surrounded! What do..." Even as he tried to work his clones into an enthusiastic order all of them were on the floor, two of them leaning back to back the other laying down like a dead body. Very far from what he had in mind. Releasing a deep breath carrying his frustrations and depression outwards he placed his fist in his open palm and glared at them.

"If we finish by tonight then we are gonna have a ramen dinner!" Their heads turned and their ears perked up. Looking towards one another they had an optical conversation amongst themselves that had them begrudgingly standing moments later. One of the clones thought to add aloud.

"We'll do it but not happily. And your doing the worse jobs!" He started growling at the faux him but conceded.

"I'm so lazy and bossy." Walking passed his alternate hims Naruto got as far as the bedroom doorway and yelled back at himselves. "Well at least get a move on!"

"We heard you!" They yelled out simultaneously. The blond gave them an agitated glare, he began to wonder if this what the people around him were subjected too. He then began to think if it was no wonder they yelled at him all the time. This left the blond wanting to huddle up in the corner and brood like a emo teen on a depression high. How very sad.

"Get up you dick we have to clean!" Naruto's clone kicked his shin causing him to grip the appendage and hop one one foot.

"You idiot I don't have to take this shit!" Giving a frustrated war cry he pounced at his doppelganger and landed a hard punch at his face. Though it must have not be hard enough as it was immediately retaliated with fist to his gut, one of the others kicked him hard in the ass so he was projected forward hitting his end table by the bed shattering it into pieces.

"Asshole you can't treat us like this!"

"Bastards what the hell are you doing! You're making this mess worse! Grrrr!" The idea slipped his mind of just canceling the jutsu as he propelled his body forward ramming his head into the gut of his clone while swinging his face to the other.

It continued that way for some time while his bedroom took the brunt of the force. His bed was broken on the bottom edge, wood chips spilling out like blood splatter to a open throat wound. His table was smashed in with his random personal effects crushed under the weight of his fall, the bottle of lotion that was right on the surface soaked into the carpet as it burst open from the weight. His dresser stood firm though one of the drawers had a open hole the size of a fist. His walls would need to be filled where the smattering of crushed bodies cracked the exterior. It was lucky of him to keep few effects in the room and oddly enough his picture wall remained unharmed as they consciously avoided hurting the precious photos enshrined on it. Though one of the clones gotten a little heated and had smashed Naruto against the ceiling, piles of dust and plaster particles littered the floor of his bedroom. After the chaos died and he was left alone again amidst the debris he idly stared up at the night sky through the hole in his ceiling feeling oddly relaxed and liberated. It felt good to get all that excess emotion in a battle even if it left him with more work to do. He'd need more clones too. Wincing to himself, body covered in dust, blood and sweat he stood up stretching the soreness and kinks from his body placing his hands together once again to henge three more clones.

"Let's try this without the fighting this time."

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

As time ticked by standing outside that house Kakashi was left with an empty feeling in his gut. Maybe it was today's events, maybe it was just with time itself. He was much too old to be playing these games. He thought putting up the white flag would appease his student, he really didn't know how to handle him. Naruto was a foreign Almost reluctantly Kakashi walked up the pathway up to the door and knocked on it once.

It fell right over.

Aside from the humor of the situation he also felt a twinge of guilt. Hadn't Naruto thought to fix the door first thing? Just any sort of person could waltz in there. Not that a piece of plywood really made a big difference but it did give the invitation for wild animals and perhaps some unseemly types of bugs to come right in. There was some justification to owning a door. Everyone had one right?

Walking over the fallen door he at least had the curtsy to put it back into place before he continued on. Naruto would need a new door frame as well he noted. When he turned the first thing he noticed is while Naruto didn't come out when he made the loud entrance he did hear some noises coming from somewhere in the lions domain. Venturing farther in he felt a eerie sense of deja vu as he made his way to the bedroom. A prickle in his neck alarming him yet still, once there standing before the precipice, he pushed aside the partially open door as it creaked open wide.

The first thing to catch his uncovered eye was not only was Naruto not alone he was standing on top of one clone, or his clone was on him, they were hardly distinguishable. His former student was reaching towards the ceiling placing a cover over a hole, the edge of his shirt rising up with no jacket to obsure his vision to give a teasing glance of hard abs and caramel milky skin. There was a line of blond hairs peeking from the top of his pants, pants that appeared to be straining not to fall off slender sinewy hips. Kakashi's eyes were assaulted with these images without any sure of blockage to aid him. Two sets of ocean blue eyes fell on him and he felt ill as they stared at him with surprised inquisition. Kakashi felt as though he was justwas caught stealing a look at his father porn. Then another Naruto came up behind him.

"Kakashi-sensei why are you here?" He turned and the floor fell out under him.

This Naruto, how many were there?, was soaked from head to toe. Fat water drops slipped down the plains of bare flesh glistening with the angle of the light, little dancing twinkles against the creamy dark skin. The black cloth of his cotton shirt clung to every crease and rip in the hard body built of steal and flesh. It was quite a vivid outline leaving little to the imagination just what the blond's body looked like under those dreadful clothes. Even the pert harden nubs of his chest could be seen with the biting draft drifting throughout the room. Those sapphire blue eyes full of curiosity and wonder as strands of darken gold hair laid over top his vision surely annoying but trapped there with the water that binded them. Kakashi took a step back caught like an animal in fright. Three pairs of matching blue eyes stared at him, curious and bemused. He realized he looked foolish but what was a man to do?

What was he even doing there again.

"Naruto?"

"Yes?" A pirate of three voices answered. The masked ninja shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Which one of you is the real Naruto?"

"I'm right here Kakashi-sensei." Strangely enough it wasn't one of the three, a fourth Naruto poked his head out from the bathroom down the hall from behind his clone. Kakashi did a double take.

"Don't look at me like that." Naruto huffed blowing a chunk of hair away from wandering into his eye. He wore the same pants and black t-shirt as his counter parts but thats where their similarities ended. He had on a blue cap that looked like a cross from a shower cap and something you'd see a grandmother wear. To protect his clothes from cleaning chemicals he wore a orange stain apron. How he found one in that color Kakashi would never know. On his hands standard yellow colored gloves as he held a dirty rag and a toliet scrubber. He was the perfect picture of housewife doing her chores.

The jounin lips twitched under his mask.

"Look I'm not in the mood for this today so unless your here to apologize for being an asshole get out." Naruto's eyes were dark and his lips in a grim frown leaving no room for arguement.

"I'm sorry."

The blond looked amazed as one clone fell onto the other behind Kakashi. The jounin sighed and placed his hands into his pockets.

"You're what?" Naruto asked, left rather dazed, Kakashi sighed.

"I haven't been fair but in all honesty you leave me with little choice to act otherwise." Naruto glared at Kakashi's comment snarling at the stubborn man.

"You give me no other way to act! Dammit I'm not a foot wort you tolerate if cutting it off and freezing it doesn't get rid of it. I'm a person, and you're a idiot!" Dramatically the blond waved his hands around as the rag fell randomly and the scrubber came dangerously close to landing on Kakashi's face. The older man sighed again rubbing his neck to relieve the non-existent ache.

"You know I don't like socializing much."

"Lies! You drink at the bar all the time, sometimes with friends. Some days you even leave them with women. You visit old lady Yui once a week when you can to play Go with her since her son was killed two years ago. A son you were friends with! You go to Icha Icha conventions and regularly attend fan club meetings! You're just a social as the next person so please tell me, why, why am I such a disease to you if you won't even eat ice cream with me if I don't break your arm first?!" The older man's jaw would he dropped to the ground without his mask to keep it in place. Naruto was positively livid, but the balant look of hurt was even more apparent. Kakashi felt a wave of shame churn in his stomach.

"I-I don't..." _'Stop, looking at me like that.'_ "It's something like..." _'What should I say?'_

"Don't bother to say anything if all you're going to do is lie." The blond said, visibly defeated. Peeling off his gloves he pulled his hat off rubbing at the creases of his forehead. The broken look on his face hurt Kakashi in ways Naruto could never understand.

"I like you." It was spoken quick and almost coyly. Naruto lifted his eyes and gave a huff in disbelief.

"Just leave, you don't have to lie to cheer me up." Kakashi's face flamed red under his mask just as something drew tight in his stomach and throat. He knew what he wanted to say, he wanted to say it, he wanted Naruto to understand why this was so hard, why they shouldn't be close but words escaped him. He was standing there another minute longer when Naruto gave up and drew close enough to grab his arm.

"I've had enough of this today, you're leaving if I have to throw you out." Just as Naruto gave a firm tug to move the man Kakashi stumbled before he held steady. The younger male turned and looked at him with a glare. Kakashi had to tell him, but how? Trying to speak again a straggled noise came out but nothing more and Naruto grew more forceful successful in pulling him close to sternly stare down at him. The jounin could feel the clones behind him drawling nearer in intimidation, likely to help the blond throw him out the door. He had to do something. Another hand fell on his shoulder shocking him to act fast.

A second later the sharingan user tugged his mask down surprising Naruto before him to stop moving. Before Naruto could blink at the sight of seeing for the first time the flushing red cheeks against the pale ivory cream skin, a long slender nose and two pale flesh toned colored lips with a cut right by the edge of his chin of his former teacher the slightly plump, if not kinda girly, lips pressed hard against his mouth and the first thought to flitter through his head was of the first time his was kissed. By a boy, also formerly on his team.

Would it never be a girl to kiss him?

He didn't close his eyes but then again, neither did Kakashi. It was strange looking at his teacher over the bridge of his nose with his face so close. Too feel the body heat of another permeate through his lips so closely packed against his own. There was a strange sensation creeping up the back of his neck tingling down his spine that felt oddly pleasant from the soft flesh of his lips and he wandered if girls lips weren't like this. Mostly though, as Naruto stared comatose and astounded into the eyes of his former teacher, the blond felt a overwhelming sensation of shock and confusion at just how kind and desperate Kakashi's eye was looking at him. It was hard to miss at this distance. Even someone as dense as Naruto could see it.

Naruto snapped his head back as he stepped away. The older man tilted his chin down and his eye away. The boy's clones were struck dumb behind him posing a very amusing picture in the atmosphere thick and heavily coated with tension. Kakashi licked his lips as a odd feeling welled up in his stomach at the sight. Naruto lifted a hand dumbly to his mouth.

"I like you very much." Kakashi started again, Naruto was all ears. He had no tongue to speak with in return.

"More appropriately put I love you. Something I don't deal very well with or want too address. As I'm certain it's not something you'd respond well with either. I was really hoping to sweep it under a rug and be finished with you but you wouldn't let that happen." Kakashi got braver and raised his head back up giving Naruto a good chance to view his uncovered face yet he ignored it.

"So yes, I'm sorry. Sorry for ignoring you making you feel unwanted and unappreciated, what have you, but if you really bothered to look I was just doing what was best." The jounin squared his shoulders as he lifted his masked back up, putting it into place as the blond dropped his hand.

"Which now that you know, I know you will agree to leaving me alone from now on." With his mask back into place, girly lips hidden away, Naruto couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then again the older man didn't seem like he planned on sticking around to find out either.

"See you around." A puff of smoke later the blond was left to collapse under his own feet.

It was unbelievable, incomprehensible. Kakashi wasn't even gay, was he? No, everyone knew about the female trysts, Sakura said she caught one of her nurse friends in Kakashi's room with him during one of very few stays there. He ended up getting released an hour after coincidentally. Though it reminded him of Kakashi in the bookstore after he asked that question. He never said yes, but he didn't say no. Bisexual?

_'In love with **me**.'_

He gripped his red stricken face in each hand. Staring at his clones, the one nearest looking horrfied as he kept staring at the spot Kakashi occupied minutes ago. The two in the back were gripping eachother tightly in a hug panting as their red faces stared back at him. It looked very questionable and scared by the image released his clones leaving him alone in their wake.

An image reel of events took place in his head in three different angles at their dispersing. He gripped his hair and shook his head around at the recollection of events.

"What do you mean you love me?!" He screamed too late in the empty hall with nothing but an echo to reply to him.

oxoxoxoxoxo

I kinda liked it, then I kinda didn't. Fact is its the '09 and I started this in December of the '06 and nothings happen yet. Yes ten chapters two years I don't know HOW I ended up being so slow. So I kinda put this out here. The truth is this really didn't come out how I wanted it too. I told readers Kakashi was in love with Naruto basically instead of trying to hide it and make it look like it was the other way around in a twist. I phailed, epically. Though it had it's moments that were cute and cuddly.

Bleh.

I'll try to get chapter 11 out before next year. Let us hope.

It was kinda funny this song went through my head as I wrote them kiss, would anyone know what it is beside my otouto I wonder?

The lips that slip Are the lips that press  
And the lips that leak seem to know you best  
I put bodies into motion Keep this skin out in the open  
Liars turn me on


End file.
